Entire update finished tomorrow.As Gruesome Murderers, people who pride themselves on their very initials being G and M, you'd think that we'd be especially good Game Masters. This is false -- Gruesome Murderers are in fact particularly bad Game Masters. You all think that a Game Master is somebody who loves his players, right? Somebody who cares so dearly about them, somebody who works with them -- not for them, not against them, but with them, in order to create a fun and enjoyable game for everybody involved. Not us, no, not us!
Well carp. Exploiting time-space incontinuity between Hell and Earth, re-incarnate, and go discuss portal-based nuking with GLaDOS at the Aperture Science facility
Ha! Hahahaha.... Foolish capitalist mortal, what have you done? Do you not know all communists are doomed to hell!? Take these precious moments to think, for no amount of money will save you now! Mwahahahaha!
My soul leaves it's puny body behind, and sweeps away to the Inner Circle of Hell. Via the highway, obviously.
You die, and are swept away to the City of Dis.
"Halt! Looky here, everyone! We have a bad hombre here, a bad bad hombre from the cesspit of reality. Dude, look. How do you think you're going to get into the tremendous City of Dis? Here in Dis, we have the greatest immigration and customs enforcement! Simply the best."
It's the Don of America -- killed in the first confrontation with the Godmodder, and now back: ready to deport everyone who doesn't integrate with the Great Nation of Hell. Like, say, a group of people who decided to
burst in in order to make
that one guy simply the worst.
"Whoops. I meant to shoot Charon, he's the capitalist I'm talking-oh nevermind!" Sir Elventide exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air. Thinking for a moment, he decided to shrug. "Well, at least I won't be forced to listen to his stupid communist ranting."
Sir Elventide will order Talonis to race the tank across the now dried up river, preferably running over Charon along the way. He will also order his Metallic Men to take down the other demons
TalonisWolf
might do what you say. See, this is the problem with dealing with real people -- they might disobey! Your Metallic Men will definitely fight with the miscellaneous demons.
In Hell, there are two (10) types of people -- player characters (or definitely real people), and non-player characters (or fake people).
Fake people are people like your metallic men, Donald Trump, and even the Godmodder. You should treat them like real people, but you should always remember that they're fake.
Real people have two convenient things: an ego, and a direct connection to real-real people. This ego thing allows them to access special tricks, such as being able to actually think. Being able to actually think is a useful skill in a world where you could be assaulted and have all sorts of unsavoury fates fall upon you. It also prevents you from being enslaved by all sorts of malefactors!
The second convenient thing is real-real people. You see, real-real people are these presences who live in a dimension above reality: like the person writing this text, or the people reading these text. They puppeteer every action performed by real people and fake people to experience a sensation known as fun. Fun is a positive feeling you get when you are doing something that causes chemicals to run through your brain. Fun is a powerful motivator, and it motivates real-real people to do things such as dictate all of fake completely real reality. The fact that real-real people exist gives real people certain protections, which is to say that you can do a lot of unsavoury things to fake people that you can't do to real people.
"What? A scimitar? How did I get this; that's Isabella's weapon, not mine. Or at least I assume it was her weapon because she was stabbing me with a bunch of them. Anyway! No more fooling around here!"
Summon my actual soul weapon, which is a double-barreled sawnoff shotgun, and blast the Mindflayer in half with a double manabolt from said firearm.
In hell, the devils seek to remind you of your failures. Also, they don't actually know much about you, and they have to disguise it by latching onto the only information they can find about you. They take perversions and aberrations of your actual abilities, and then force them upon you.
/wip.
"You all seem to attract demons and economicly motivated-warfarers, I shall follow to murder more demons" Hops on Holy Pegasus of +2 Leaping (among other such attributes) and follow the tank around, shooting Holy Beams at demons along the way
BUT FIRST, CHARGE THOR AND IMPALE ON SWORD!
Be on top of the Hell On Wheels as we drive over Charon, shoot him with a plasma launcher after we go by.
Throw a plasma mine at the other demons.
Drive over Charon while ordering more Explosive Ammo. Thank the Heavens for FedEx!
"Now to finish you."
Aim for the neck! Decapitate Charon!
As Hell on Wheels continued on its way, Sir Elventide took out his cell phone as he turned to the Godmodder. "You know," he began to say as he pressed a few buttons. "There's something that I've been meaning to ask you since I got here that I didn't get to do because of Egan's antics."
He then showed him the phone. "Do you recognized this number? It's from-" Seeing the confused look on the Godmodder's face, Sir Elventide glanced at his phone and saw nothing but one of his Touhou Project fanart. Blushing heavily, he quickly pressed a few buttons until he got to his Messages screen. Selecting one of the texts, Sir Elventide showed it to the Godmodder.
"*Ahem* As I was saying, do you recognize this number? It's from the person whose chain mail started all of this."
I must obtain a new weapon, I must go forth and find a shovel.
Dispatch Huginn and Muninn to fly the Godmodder closer to the centre!
Exhale my crabs into the former river and ask Thor to flood it.
Make Thor become bloody dead pulp
Make Thor become bloody dead pulp
Prevent this. Sacrifice as many orifice grasses as necessary to entangle him.
Pick up The Rock, drop on MoonyTheHuman.
Pro-Godmodders[PG] Maximum Spin.
Blood_Librarian: 25/25 HP. Psionic.
Tyrant Leviathan: Haste.
Dustan Hache: Cat. on the Godmodder's head.
roseheart: Cat. is the Godmodder's beard.
Secheral: Revenant.
Greatness942, Gwolfski: nineteen eleven, colt fourty-five, holding back the vampires, keeping him alive
MoonyTheHuman: 24/25 HP.
[PG] Sophia: 25/25 HP. Being stabbed by a dozen scimitars.
[PG] TrickleJest.
[PG] Maximum Spin: 20/25 HP.
Aliemma: 25/25 HP.
[PG] Elventide: 15/25 HP.
[PG] Hell on Wheels: 275/275 HP. 6 Splash Ammo.
Metallic Men: 5/5 HP. x15.
[PG] Hell Slime: 10/10 HP.
scourge728: On the other side of the river.
Denizens of HellMind Flayer: 49/200 HP.
YT Scion: 54/200 HP.
Innards Magpie: 250/250 HP. Secheral's True Self.
Lemures:
DEAD. x∞.
Capitalist Charon: 85/400 HP. Pinned down by an adamantine boulder.
Phase 1.The GodmodderThe Godmodder: 10/10 HP. Qliphoth Armour: 75/100 HP. Caduceus. Pseudo-accelerated. Good Friday.
Days Left: 19?
[05/02/18].
Distance to the Ninth Circle: 11%.
Dis OutskirtsGwolfski:
DEAD.Donald Trump: 1,000/1,000 HP.
Author
Topic: Escort the Godmodder! (Read 19231 times)