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[scriver]

Episode III: The Thread Awakens

Also new Star Wars reviews are coming out of the woodwork...and it’s not looking so good.
Grab the popcorn, because that means INTERNET DRAMA!

Can't say I'm super surprised, but I'll withhold judgment until I actually watch the movie.  Supposedly they had to reshoot one of the scenes near the end of the movie because the prescreen audience started laughing at the fight with Palpatine or something.  That's not a good indicator.

[Kot]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I can't believe Darth Darth Binks was true all along.

[Dunamisdeos]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I can't believe Darth Darth Binks was true all along.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And that he was Rey's Father

[IcyTea31]

Wasn't that bad, in my opinion. It started off clumsily but pulled itself together in the second act to a pretty predictable but flashy plot and an ending which brought to mind an opera I saw once.

[Iduno]

"I'm just so tired of all these Star Wars?"

[Max™]

I read the synopsis on wikipedia and had to double check multiple full spoiler reviews because I thought surely there's no way all this fucking nonsense is really accurate, right?

Just wikitrolls, yeah?

...no?

Well shit, I suppose going from The Memberberries Awaken to The Last Jedi...OR IS IT BECAUSE ACTUALLY SUBVERSION! and trying to wrap things back up neatly wasn't going to be a simple task, not even sure Hickman would be able to work that one out without accidentally making Dr. Doom reveal himself as a direct ancestor of both Kylo and Rey in order to get Dr. Manhattan to summon Superman to put an end to their incestuousness by rubbing a lamp he got from a rather unlucky Major.

Spoiler: But seriously though... (click to show/hide)

I thought it came out at some point that Sidious actually triggered the force-impregnation of Shmi before presumably doing the same thing to produce Rey's dad, making Rey and Ben like half-cousin-aunt-nephew or some stupid bullshit like Jon and Daenerys?

[nogoodnames]

I'm going to agree with IcyTea here. The first half was a complete mess, where everything and everyone felt like they were rushing to get on to the next scene as fast as possible. Why does every big movie these days seem to completely suck at editing and pacing? It did slow down enough in the second half for me to actually feel things, which I appreciated. I'd personally rank it higher than The Last Jedi, where I was just miserable throughout.

But also,

Spoiler: If you thought the hyperspace ram was bad... (click to show/hide)

The Star Wars galaxy is utterly broken now that a Star Destroyer class ship can mount a Death Star laser. Everyone with a few ships can go scavenge and reverse engineer one thanks to Lando. Palpatine managed to pull hundreds of thousands of them out of his ass without anyone knowing, so they can't be that hard to make. The entire galaxy is going to be locked in a constant state of MAD because everyone has ships with planet destroying weapons.

[Iduno]

I'm going to agree with IcyTea here. The first half was a complete mess, where everything and everyone felt like they were rushing to get on to the next scene as fast as possible. Why does every big movie these days seem to completely suck at editing and pacing?

Read up on Marcia Lucas, and how trash George's dumbass ideas for Star Wars were. You want to know why he went back and changed the films so Greedo shot first (and other brilliant edits)? He thought they were good ideas.

Edit: He did end up with a good film, for a guy who didn't understand the writing, pacing, and directing portions of his job.

[George_Chickens]

I'm glad I gave up on Star Wars so that I couldn't be heartbroken by what they're doing to it.

No feelings at all... none... I swear... no heartbreak here, just last night's burger coming back for revenge... that must be it... no other explanation.

Don't ask questions. Just consume product and then get excited for next product.

[ChairmanPoo]

i am the senate

[Urist McScoopbeard]

I feel like I should see it for how bad it is... but it will A.) make me irrationally angry, and B.) I don't want to support Disney's shitty choices and weak effort.

[Iduno]

I feel like I should see it for how bad it is... but it will A.) make me irrationally angry, and B.) I don't want to support Disney's shitty choices and weak effort.

I assume the lack of quality in media today is to fight piracy. It's been years since I've seen advertisements for a game/movie that looked like it was worth the effort to steal.

[Dunamisdeos]

I feel like I should see it for how bad it is... but it will A.) make me irrationally angry, and B.) I don't want to support Disney's shitty choices and weak effort.

 
B) for me.
 
Disney has all the same capacity for originality as a stale rice cake. If it doesn't confirm to the simplest and most digestible of marketing formulas, they have no idea what to do with it. They wanted Star Wars to be their next "we can spend 10 minutes writing whatever the hell we want and slap a famous character's face on it and rake in money" franchise like they did with Pirates of the Caribbean, and the second that failed with TLJ that was it. No ability whatsoever to recover.
 
They have people there who know how to do it, just look at Rogue One. It's just not what Disney is about.

[TamerVirus]

1)simultaneously plan a trilogy while not planning a trilogy
2)have the second movie throw out everything the first movie set
3)call all the people who didn’t like what you did entitled or something
4)Panic!
5)?
6)Profit! (Still)

[Mephansteras]

I, for one, liked it just fine. Not sure what people are upset about really. It had good action and tied things up pretty well. And, no, it was not in fact any more ridiculous than any of the old Extended Universe stuff. It's Star Wars. It was fine.