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Author Topic: A long, regretful year has passed.  (Read 23141 times)

LordNippes

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Re: A long, regretful year has passed.
« Reply #45 on: December 16, 2017, 05:04:31 am »

(removed a religion fight derail, and an unnecessary personal attack; please try to remain within the guidelines)

Now that's great ... i hope he could at least read it before the censoring because nobody else here or anywhere will ever tell him this harsh "unnecessary" truth, that's for sure.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2017, 05:06:50 am by LordNippes »
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Jack_Caboose

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Re: A long, regretful year has passed.
« Reply #46 on: December 16, 2017, 06:57:23 am »

Glad to see you back, I rarely even played DF without the MDF updates. I was worried about the Patrons who donated whilst you were gone, but since you're allowing them to get their money back, this is all just water under the bridge now. Happy to see you're better  :D

megahelmet

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Re: A long, regretful year has passed.
« Reply #47 on: December 16, 2017, 02:10:13 pm »

Yay! Welcome back Meph! I love dwarf fortress and I'm glad your back in the community, but be sure to look after yourself. It's just a game. I'm certain everyone will agree your health and well being takes precedence.
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The-Moon

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Re: A long, regretful year has passed.
« Reply #48 on: December 16, 2017, 09:25:09 pm »

Hey Meph!

To be honest I don't know what to say. Im a normal type of a person who gets up, goes to work, comes home, goes to sleep ect. So when I hear story's about 'Adventurer's' such as your self. It hard to imagine the story's because its so completely alien to what i'm use to. Getting on a plane and going to another part of the world and riding a bike around. I think id be scared to go into another country honestly.

So I have no idea what I was really getting at but, I would like to say I do love Masterwork and I never really paid attention much to the forum's. But honestly without masterwork dwarf fortress would be not as much fun.

So what I do want to say is that I appreciate all the hard work you have done for us so far. And I look forward to whatever new things you come up with for the next Masterwork.

I came to look at the forum's just now today too see if there had been any new updates to masterwork, since dwarf fortress was updated recently. I haven't even played the new version of Dwarf Fortress yet, I figured I would wait for the Master Work Version of it, because I knew/know it will be 100 times better then just plain old df.

It does sound interesting with the new map features now. I might go try it one day if i'm feeling "adventurous". But ill just keep playing the current version of masterwork for now...


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Metall

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Re: A long, regretful year has passed.
« Reply #49 on: December 17, 2017, 06:23:27 pm »

Welcome back man, real brave of you to write this. Glad to see you back, and feeling better. Hope you continue to feel better... desperately hope you gain some good luck.

Will be praying for you.
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netherous

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Re: A long, regretful year has passed.
« Reply #50 on: December 20, 2017, 09:08:49 pm »

I'm so glad you're back and working on Masterwork again. I donated to Patreon too since I had derived so very many hours of personal enjoyment out of Masterwork so far. I know exactly what it's like to have a life wrecked by depression, and I figured that something RL had happened to that effect, or that you had been hit by a bus. Thanks for the update and I hope things keep looking up.
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heydude6

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Re: A long, regretful year has passed.
« Reply #51 on: December 21, 2017, 11:22:28 am »

Hey Meph, glad to have you back. It’s kind of hard to believe that this is finally happening.

I never gave up on the idea that you would ever return, but I will admit that I did have my doubts. Anyway, don’t feel pressured to get back into modding just yet. As you already mentioned, dfhack and twbt still need to update, so you have some time to relax.
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KittyTac

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Re: A long, regretful year has passed.
« Reply #52 on: December 22, 2017, 01:40:43 am »

Hey Meph, glad to have you back. It’s kind of hard to believe that this is finally happening.

I never gave up on the idea that you would ever return, but I will admit that I did have my doubts. Anyway, don’t feel pressured to get back into modding just yet. As you already mentioned, dfhack and twbt still need to update, so you have some time to relax.

There's a DFhack alpha available though
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Judicator

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Re: A long, regretful year has passed.
« Reply #53 on: December 25, 2017, 04:33:06 pm »

Welcome back, my brother.  No blame, no shame, no need to say thanks or welcome.  Now we don't have to worry about ya, just recover and come back if the hobby calls you.  I mean, after a few months I was a bit worried from experience but my meddling has hurt before.  So you've now taught me the adage 'when I try to do something, it's always less bad than doing nothing in the long run'.

Life happens so many folks get similar.  I've got baggage and damage, but treatment is One FUN!! story, not as rough as yours but kinda funny for perspective: 

I was once stuck in a desert with an illness considered highly infectious and couldn't go home.  After a month of incapacitating nerve pain without meds, and eventually going to hospital, I got to fly out.  En-route I immediately had a... not too dangerous plane crash.  My spot was one of two points where the force of landing hit hard, apparently something to do with wings.  Also the only one people sit in.  The plane slid just barely to edge of tarmac with "hot brakes".  Cue mass panic and mandatory evacuation.  So I got to stumble out while ushering fellow passengers.  Seems the aircraft was eventually refit to fly, which is really bad and/or really cool. 

Not all that much lingering mental or physical damage from either so everything turned out 100% fine in my book.  Nobody died.  Same for you.  Presumably.  Anywho welcome back, and we're glad you're part of our community no matter what!

EDIT:  Sorry if I am bit insensitive, I was aware it's a bit tough for me to convey in English.
« Last Edit: December 25, 2017, 11:02:32 pm by Judicator »
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harkejuice

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Re: A long, regretful year has passed.
« Reply #54 on: December 26, 2017, 11:58:56 pm »

Every few weeks I wonder about Masterwork as you and your helpers are responsible for many comfy hours spent on a ridiculous Necro fort.

 I'm glad to see you finally back and not dead, that is really the important part and I for one am glad that you were able to come back and say something and not be eaten by a crocodile.
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Meph

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Re: A long, regretful year has passed.
« Reply #55 on: December 28, 2017, 03:01:26 am »

Every few weeks I wonder about Masterwork as you and your helpers are responsible for many comfy hours spent on a ridiculous Necro fort.

 I'm glad to see you finally back and not dead, that is really the important part and I for one am glad that you were able to come back and say something and not be eaten by a crocodile.
:D Well, a crocodile certainly tried at some point... (NSFW link) I have been careful around them since then.
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::: ☼Meph Tileset☼☼Map Tileset☼- 32x graphic sets with TWBT :::
::: ☼MASTERWORK DF☼ - A comprehensive mod pack now on Patreon - 250.000+ downloads and counting :::
::: WorldBicyclist.com - Follow my bike tours around the world - 148 countries visited :::

Splint

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Re: A long, regretful year has passed.
« Reply #56 on: January 05, 2018, 08:19:33 pm »

I'll be 100% honest, I didn't actually realize you were gone until Amostubal started maintaining the place in your absence. Figured you'd just gone one one of your bike trips. Shows how observant I am. :P

Welcome back, here's to hoping for some fresh and revitalized masterwork! And perhaps necromancers. I liked those dudes, they just never quite seemed properly refined, I guess. And who knows, maybe everything will pick back up once the mod gets updated to the latest and greatest?

hemmingjay

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Re: A long, regretful year has passed.
« Reply #57 on: January 12, 2018, 11:30:43 pm »

I'm glad you are back, Meph. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are human. I lived the same moment and still feel the pain. The indie life(games) is incredibly brutal. More so than anyone on the outside could imagine. You give it your all, for years. The money is small or you actually lose money. The initial public support and feedback is wonderful and drives you on.

As your work matures and your fanbase expands, you multiply the opportunities for negative feedback. All hot button issues and they build up around the clock. Money, workload, and mental health are at odds with your well being. You can fight it by slowing the work that doesn't pay, focus on work that provides you stability. Spend time with family or unplug and REST to alleviate your woes. Simple, right? The problem is that human nature prevents the right choices. At some point, your pure art contribution to society turns into an extension of your ego. When enough other people feed your ego it turns into a monster and it demands that you feed it. Reason and rational thought are absent from this point on. You begin to double down and work 10x harder. The issue is that you aren't working 10x harder on one problem- instead, you decide to take on 10 other issues people complained about in addition to your current work. As more time goes on more issues pile up from impatient fans being bored. That drives you to add it to the new update and further delays it. Meanwhile, you haven't slept more than 3 hours at a time for 2 years or more and you spend 30% of your income on overdraft charges and you are confident that your loved ones are feeling neglected.

Sadly this is still a couple months from rock bottom. Meph described rock bottom pretty well but the journey there is fast an furious. Rebuilding your life from there is hard and takes a long time. Meph needs support and understanding. If you ever appreciated the work of Meph then please try to understand what it's like to birth a piece of your soul into the world without hope for compensation. It's a position of vulnerability and generosity. Treat this person as you hope to be treated when you finally stand up and share your work with the world.

Thanks Meph for all of the joy your work has brought me and your contributions to this community. It does get better, slowly. The bonus is now you know which traps to avoid and what's really important to you in life.
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sepik121

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Re: A long, regretful year has passed.
« Reply #58 on: January 18, 2018, 05:13:14 am »

figured i'll throw in my 2 cents as well as someone who played this for a huge amount of hours back in the day (2013? 2014?), but I am incredibly glad to see you're back and to see you active again. Your mod was easily one of my favorite things ever from DF and completely changed the game for me in a great way.

Depression is a hard thing to deal with, and I'm glad you seem to be getting better. It ruined my SO for about a year and like you mentioned, just doing those basic tasks became incredibly hard for her. Just getting her to have the motivation to take a shower or go to work became successes. She was able to rebuild her life and get back, but it took quite some time.

Don't be so hard on yourself, it's something that just kinda happens. It's not your own fault, and you don't need to beat yourself up.

I wish you all the best, and I can't wait to see what else you can do. Masterwork is hands down one of my favorite mods across literally any game I've ever played. You've done great things, and will do so in the future too
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Ekaton

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Re: A long, regretful year has passed.
« Reply #59 on: January 22, 2018, 07:21:04 pm »

A bit late perhaps, but really glad to see you back. Bay12forums are not the same without you.
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