TURN 4: CAVESgo outside and pull out a probe to start building protoss base if any one gets in my way stab them in the guts and bisect them
[5] NOBODY IN WAY, YOU PLANT BASE SEED IN GROUND SEVERAL HUNDRED METERS FROM HUT. BASE COMPLETE NEXT TURN!
Psychically commune with cat, drive it mad, make it my fearsome eldritch cat mount
ride it around, breaking random folks' necks like it did to that shifty nurse
cough a hairball onto shoggoth dude, then bite off a tentacle and break free. Resume flurry of highly dangerous play-fighting!
[5 VS 6] QGGLN COMMUNE WITH DUSTAN BUT ONLY HEAR "HAIRBALL!" RIGHT BEFORE DUSTAN COUGH HAIRBALL ON FACE AND BITE TENTACLE OFF. DUSTAN FREE OF QGGLN.
Suggest shoggoth to team up in magnificent TEAM EVIL
Try to find cup of coffee
[4] QGGLN BUSY RIGHT NOW WITH CAT, BUT YOU PICK CUP OF COFFEE OFF GROUND. COLD BUT STILL GOOD. TASTY COFFEE.
INCLUDE TEAM NAME IN BOLD NEXT TURN FOR TEAM BONI.Okay, new character.
GIGAGIANT
NAME: DONNY HORMLESS
CLASS: HANDICAPPED
STATUS: HAS NO LEGS; IN A WHEELCHAIR
Wheel myself over to somewhere quiet, safe, and secluded.
[1] YOU WHEEL YOURSELF OVER NEXT TO THE FIGHTING GIANT HOUSECAT AND SHOGGOTH. THEY AREN'T PUNCHING YOU YET AT LEAST.
Teleport the hut somewhere deep in the earth. Frolick amidst my GLOWING ORBS.
[6] YOU TELEPORT HUT DEEP INTO CAVE SYSTEM, AND ALSO YOURSELF! YOU NOW TRAPPED IN DIRT, RUNNING OUT OF AIR. GLOWING ORBS LOOK ON IN CONFUSION [1 TURN TIL SUFFOCATION]
Grab my bottles of Everclear and run away from the hut.
[4] YOU CARRY EVERCLEAR AWAY FROM STILL, BUT THEN HUT DISSAPEAR. YOU JUST WANDER AROUND IN CIRCLE.
NAME: GESHOR THE INSATIABLE
CLASS: MINOR DEMON
STATUS: POSSESSING DONNY HORMLESS'S WHEELCHAIR
>LAY LOW, BIDING MY TIME FOR NOW
[1] YOU SPEND SO MUCH EFFORT LAYING LOW, WHEELCHAIR GLOWING BRIGHT RED AND HISSING! EVERYONE KNOW YOU IN THERE.
Now that I've got something in my stomach, calm down and search for bones.
[3] NO BONES IN GARDEN, BUT
BUSINESSMAN JUST STEP OUT OF EARTH WITH BRIEFCASE. MAYBE BONES IN BRIEFCASE?
Take POWER from every living plant around me until they shrivel up and die!!!!!
Then become HUMAN!!!
[5] THE GARDEN TURNS DEAD AROUND YOU AS THE PLANTS SHRIVEL AND TURN TO DUST AND YOU ARISE FROM THE EARTH AS A
BUSINESSMAN. WHERE DID THE HUT GO?
Reconfigure Hut to look like a tiki bar!
[6] FRONT OF HUT NOW LOOK LIKE TIKI BAR, BUT YOU EMBEDDED IN CAVE WALL NOW! CAN'T SHIFT FORM UNLESS BREAK FREE!
DUSTAN TURN AND SEE HANDICAPPED MAN IN GLOWING HISSING WHEELCHAIR, GET UPSET! [1 VS 1] {DUSTAN VS DONNY}, [5 VS 2] {DUSTAN VS GESHOR} DUSTAN LEAP AT DONNY, BUT DONNY WHEEL HAPHAZARDLY OUT OF WAY! DUSTAN SWIPE AT WHEELCHAIR ON WAY PAST, SWAT ONE HANDLE FREE! GESHOR THE INSATIABLE IS WOUNDED!
GENERIC GREEN FIELD: GREEN
WOODEN HUT: DOOR BROKEN, BLOODIED, SCORCHED, UNDERGROUND
SENTIENT RAINBOW DIRT: GLOWING ORB
YOINK
NAME: GESHOR THE INSATIABLE
CLASS: MINOR DEMON
STATUS: HANDLE MISSING
NRDL
NAME: NIX
CLASS: GIANT DOG
STATUS: HEALTHY
SECHERAL
NAME: FRIENDSHIP
CLASS: UNICORN
STATUS: SUFFOCATING! [1 TURN TILL DEATH]
ROSEHEART
NAME: HUT
CLASS: FRONT WALL OF HUT
STATUS: TIKI BAR, STUCK IN CAVE WALL
WERTYZERTY
NAME: FIELD
CLASS: BUSINESSMAN
STATUS: HEALTHY
CROCANDBEARLOVER
NAME: KONSTANTIN VSELODOVICH KALASHNIKOV
CLASS: MARTIAL ARTIST/GUNATE (BASICALLY KARATE, BUT WITH GUNS)
STATUS: BLEEDING!
DARKWARLOCK3
NAME: VOLCANIS
CLASS: PROTOSS ZEALOT
STATUS: HEALTHY
KING ZULTAN
NAME: MR. MONEY
CLASS: HOBO
STATUS: SLIGHTLY LOST
SPRINKLED CHARIOT
NAME: SYLVESTER
CLASS: LICH
STATUS: DRINKING COFFEE!
MAXIMUM SPIN
NAME: QGGLN
CLASS: ELDER GOD
STATUS: MISSING PART OF TENTACLE, HAIRBALL IN FACE
GIGAGIANT
NAME: DONNY HORMLESS
CLASS: HANDICAPPED
STATUS: HAS NO LEGS; IN A WHEELCHAIR
COFFEE IS EXCELLENT. ALSO THE HUT IS UNDERGROUND NOW. AND FINALS ARE OVER, SO MORE TIME NOW.