Sentient Bone Spears (1!): This goes absolutely poorly. Truly what on earth were you and your subordinates thinking. The brain is too big for the spear and too small to understand its a weapon. They're off balance and spend most of their time screaming and running away from anyone who tries to wield them. Several acolytes are lost when they tried to corner one of the sentient spears. It rammed its pointy end into the acolytes, which gave it severe internal damage, and then it promptly died. We know how to make them, but god, good luck getting a set of novice fleshmancers to craft some of these wiggling screaming coward spears.
The Psyionic Potential Hypothesis (3-1): It comes to your attention that brains are the part of creatures which make things work. They have some sort of weird control over the body in a way the other organs dont. And you know this for sure, you checked! Indeed, while poking holes in the heart and lungs and other organs caused a wide variety of reactions (well not that wide, more than half of your experiments ended in death), only the brain had strange side effects. You theorize the brain may be able to control all sorts of things, and that a larger brain may be able to project this control outside of the body. After painstaking hours of fleshmancying brains together, and dosing them in a variety of different substances, you finally get results. You find that brains attuned to certain parameters can build up a sort of magical pressure which could be harnessed for some sort of kinetic attack. Though, while investigating this, all test subjects simply exploded in gory and dramatic ways.
Meat Harvesters (6!): Well, in theory, it shouldn't work. Hell, it makes no sense at all really. You got a big lumpy ball of flesh to waddle along on four legs and eat things. Now thats a pretty normal Tuesday afternoon for you, but here's where it gets interesting. It gets bigger when it eats things. No digestion, or any of that funky interior organ sort of stuff. Nope, just gets bigger when it eats things. The thing's got a wicked sense of smell and can be seen roaming the battlefield trying to eat monsters. Of course this isn't perfect since monster's turn into mist when they die, but some of your interns swear that if this thing eats a living monster, it should be capable of growing off it. Something to do with how it doesn't actually eat anything but instead everything is turned into some sort of energy and it eats ener- blah blah blad. You never listen to your interns.
Immobile acid spitting cannon creatures (4): Its a pretty easy fix for the acid bone launchers to be changed into cannons. A membranous layer of hyperpolerized fatty acids and hydrophobic antiacids basically made the launching mechanism highly resistant to acids. From there, the rest was fairly easy, simply create a large waterbuffalo like creature with a mouth big enough to swallow a watermellon and a stomach capable of holding large amounts of acid and BOOM, you got a living cannon. The Cannonalo is a tubby creature with a large flabby stomach and tiny tiny limbs. Its giraffe like neck and wide mouth allow it to fire large wads of acidic stomach mucus. They're incapable of moving on their own though, and must be put into position by other units or during preparations. After a long day of work you crack open a jar of beer and relax in your office. Huh, you could have sworn you had another jar of acid laying around here...
Crabman (5): Fumans are the bread and butter of your defenses against the Mist, and whats bread and butter without a little spice? Grafting on an extra set of legs is fairly easy and you end up getting a kind of fuman which moves in a crablike fashion. You manage to coax some extra spikes out of what their kneecaps used to be too!
Wallwaker (5): You're going to spend a good deal of time pouring over the data from the last fight. Learning everything you can about the enemy, their strengths and weaknesses, how to counteract them, their origin and back story, but first, lunch! After a good long meal you come back to your lab and, hey! Who put this upgraded Wallwaker here?!
Fyorkie (1!+1): You've never been more horrified in your life. You're considering resigning. Maybe you just don't have the guts to do this job. No, really, you cant find where you put your guts! You made sure you had enough guts for the Fyorkie, but for some reason they've gone missing. Your creature is a resounding failure, its tiny and flimsy and god that shrivelled little dog face will haunt your dreams for the rest of your days. You figure you should go back to the drawing board and maybe give this another shot in light of this critical failure. Really, your bad luck was absolutely palpable here.
Flodren (3): Taking what we already knew about crafting humanlike fleshbeings, it was a simple matter to scale down the design. Add in a few sharpened teeth (your apprentice stayed up all night sharpening them by hand because you only had dull teeth. Lots and lots of dull teeth. Who on earth made all these dull teeth?!) You find its easier to just give them a big nose than to give them eyes and they are really good smellers. (Which is a fate worse than death around here). The little impy flodren are blind toeless little stumpy things with twisty manipulative fingers, a nose dominated face, and a smile that says "I am going to bite off your legs." Really, they're kind of cute.
Visceral Surgeon (6): You've received several calls from the parents of your acolytes. For some reason they say that their children never wrote home and have gone missing. Weird. Your visceral surgeons have acolyte level of knowledge of anatomy and are quite good at performing battlefield surgery. They have a large singular bone claw on one hand and are quite adept at switching organs in and out of bodies. You found a large vat of guts laying around and went to town with stuffing these things to the brim with organs of various sizes and functions. And of course they don't have any fleshmancy because they're totally not made out of your assistants, but instead use a process called "surgery". Though, as you look forward to future research, you make sure to put in a request to get assistants with more than just the basic understanding of the human body.
Bloodhunters (4): After you fleshmanced your first puppy to death in your childhood, you've had a fascination with dogs. The bloodhunters are no different. They're rather powerful runners and biters, with strong muscular legs and jaws. However their bone plates over the vitals make them a bit heavier than dogs typically and and slows them down a bit. Another researcher spent some time with acid and you managed to switch it out with an identical jar of tear beer, what a sap! He's going to feel real dumb later. Using this particular kind of acid and its related anti-acid coating, you manage to give the bloodhunters an acidic bite. Which is good, because you put the brain in the torso to make room for this whole acid venom business. You didn't get around to putting spikes on the tail before the enemy was spotted on the horizon though.
Author
Topic: Fleshmancy 3: Meatcastles (Read 8631 times)