Turn 14: I have become utterly overwhelmed by the player count in this game. Perhaps I'll have to update more often to make sure that I'm not piled with like 15 actions every turn.
Anyway. I'm not going to do so this turn, but it feels like a good idea to make the ball carrier top priority and have them move first. Will deliberate on that more later.
AAAAAAARRRRRRRG!
STEAL THE BALL, I SAID! CREW, TO AAAARRRRMS!
1v1: YOU TRY GRAB BALL FROM DOCTOR, BUT FAIL TO FIND FOOTING.
>BE LONE FOOTBALL PIRATE CREWMAN
HELP CAP'N UP, BEGIN UNRULY CHARGE TOWARDS BALL
(Please use the character sheet form to sign up in the future. Thanks.)
6: YOU HELP YE CAPTAIN UP!
6v4: THEN, CHARGE AT DOCTOR HOLDING BALL!
END 6: YOU MAKE FULL SHOULDER TACKLE AT HIM, BUT HE COUNTER WITH OWN. HIS RIGHT SHOULDER SUFFER DAMAGE, BUT HE RETAIN POSESSION OF BALL.
Go for the ball. Fire missiles* at anyone trying to stop me. *fists
1v6: YOU GO FOR BALL. SUDDENLY TRIP! MUST HAVE MESSED UP LANDING GEAR SOMEHOW.
DAMAGE DOESN'T SEEM TOO BAD THOUGH.
"Even in death I will assure my team victory"
Come Back as a zombie attack ball holder unless s/he is of blue team
6: YOUR BODY SHUDDER AND TWIST IN AN UNNATURAL WAY. RISE AS ZOMBIE!
2v2: DOCTOR STARTLED BY YOUR REVIVAL! IT UNSCIENTIFIC. HE STAND STILL IN SHOCK. IN RESPONCE, YOU STAND STILL AND STARE. YOU CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW YOUR LEGS WORK YET.
Request assistance from the 501st. While they come save me, shoot Madden (Who's clearly some sort of JEDI SCUM)
3: YOU CALL FOR AID! A SUPPLY CRATE DROP FROM SKY NEAR YOUR POSITION. IT FINISH FALLING AT END OF TURN.
6v1: YOU OPEN FIRE AT MADDEN! THE SHOT SLAM INTO HIS UPPER BODY!
END 2: SHOT TEARS A HOLE ALL THE WAY THROUGH, SCATTERING FLESH AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE. HE NOT LONG TO LIVE.
"aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou."
Slowly moonwalk towards the FOOTBALL while still chanting text-to-speech gibberish after everyone else moves. Get the FOOTBALL and attempt to use it as a power source for John Madden.
1: YOU SLOWLY MOONWALK TOWARD BALL...
YOU FALL OVER! APPARENTLY NOT USED TO EARTH GRAVITY. MOONWALK INEFFECTIVE.
3: YOU CONTINUE SPEAKING GIBBERISH! MADDEN SLIGHTLY EMPOWERED, AND CONDITION BECOMES ALMOST STABLE.
TEAM: POETIC JUSTICE
ROLE: MASTER OF THE TROMBONE
FIRST ACTION: DECLARE MY ARRIVAL WITH A MIGHTY TUNE COMPOSED BY YOURS TRULY THAT WILL STRIKE TERROR INTO THE HEARTS OF EVEN THE MOST FEARLESS ELDRITCH CREATURES. IT GOES A LITTLE LIKE THIS: WAH WAH WAH WAAAAH.
(You're in.)
1: YOU MARCH OUT TO FIELD WITH TROMBONE. YOU TRY TO PLAY TUNE TO STRIKE FEAR INTO EVEN ONE SUCH AS MADDEN.
*WAH WAH WAH WAAAAH.*
MADDEN EMBRACES THE TUNE, AND IS ENGULFED IN AN AURA OF TERROR! ALL ATTACKS TOWARDS MADDEN HAVE A -1 PENALTY NOW.
"WE NEED TO KILL THAT.. THAT.. UGLY MAGGOT!" point at the astronaut and try to convince everyone, on all teams, to kill them! Also, reload my weapons.
YOU YELL AT TEAM TO KILL THE SPACE MAN!
5, 6: YOU PERFECTLY RELOAD YOUR WEAPONS WITH AMAZING SPEED. YOU DESERVE A MEDAL FOR THAT. MAYBE YOU'LL MAKE IT LATER.
Mega evolve and then start shooting swift at turducken
4: YOU FIRMLY GRASP THE MEGA STONE YOU BROUGHT WITH YOU! A POKEMON TRAINER ENTERS FIELD CARRYING A KEYSTONE FROM THE CROWD. YOU REACT TO STONE, AND BECOME MEGA MEWTWO Y! FOR 3 TURNS, ALL SPECIAL ATTACKS WILL GET A BOOST.
4+1v4: YOU UNLEASH SWIFT, FIRING AN ARRAY OF STARS AT THE TURDUCKEN!
END 2: THE STARS SMASH INTO THE BEAST KNOCKING IT OUT COLD.
2: THE TRAINER THROWS AN ULTRA AT THE TURDUCKEN, BUT IT FAILS!
Team: Blue
Role: Beast Hunter
HIT JOHN MADDEN WITH MY KIRKHAMMER WHILE HE'S WEAKENED!
4: You're in!
6-1v5: YOU VALIANTLY SWING YOUR KIRKHAMMER AT MADDEN, BUT HE DEFLECTS THE STRIKE. IT IS TERRIFYING.
Throw the FOOTBALL as far away from my self as possible, at the goal if possible.
3: YOU CHUCK THE BALL TOWARD THE BLUE END ZONE. NORMALLY RED SCORES THERE.
BALL SAILS A WHOPPING 5 YARDS BEFORE HITTING GROUND. YOUR ARM NOT VERY GOOD.
GRAB FOOTBALL IN MOUTH, CARRY TO OPPOSING TEAM'S SIDE
1: YOU SEE BALL CHUCKED TO GROUND. CHARGE AND TRY TO GRAB IT. MAXIMUM SPEED ACHIEVED. WENT TOO FAST AND TRIPPED OVER BALL.
3: THIS PAIN TEMPORARY.
ATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA-
STRIKE PRESSURE POINTS OF ANYONE ON AN OPPOSING TEAM NEAR THE BALL WITH EXPLOSIVE FORCE. HOKUTO NO KEN IS INVINCIBLE!
1+1v6: THERE BLUE TEAM MEMBER PRETENDING TO BE AIRPLANE NEAR BALL. YOU START GOING ATATATA AT HIM, BUT HE FLIES PAST YOU WITH HIS ARMS OUT. A SKILLED OPPONENT INDEED.
Take back my penalty cards by performing a perfect slap attack against the thief, then lead the templars against the turduken once more!
5: YOU SLAP THE THIEF, AND FINALLY RECLAIM PENALTY CARDS. EXCELLENT.
6: YOU LEAD THE NEWLY RECRUITED TEMPLARS ONWARD AGAINST THE TURDUCKEN!
Tell the newly recruited Templars to bring a couple of horses and a lance (or a really long stick, in the case of troubles with finding a lance). One horse will be for me,
the other one will be Paxiecrunchle's.
When newbs bring us horses, charge the Turducken demon and pierce him apart with my lance/really long stick!
4: THE RECRUITS EXIT THE STADIUM PER YOUR ORDERS. THEY'LL BE BACK WITH SUPPLIES AT THE END OF THE TURN.
WITH NO SUPPLIES, YOU SIMPLY BIDE YOUR TIME.
RED TEAM:
Mallos: ROLE: QUARTERBACK
HEALTH: INVIGORATED BY RED BULL. LITERALLY GAINED WINGS.
STATUS: +1 TO ALL ACTION FOR 2 TURNS INCLUDING THIS ONE.
crazyabe: ROLE: TACKLE
HEALTH: RIGHT ARM MODERATELY GOUGED.
STATUS: STARING INTO SPACE. HAS TWO CANS OF RED BULL.
FallacyOfUrist: ROLE: RED BULL MASCOT.
HEALTH: BRUISED ALL OVER.
STATUS: IS A BULL.
Dustan Hache: ROLE: SOLDIER
HEALTH: UNHARMED
STATUS: FULLY LOADED. DECENT RESERVE AMMO. HAS TWO CANS OF RED BULL.
BLUE TEAM:
ziizo:
ROLE: SAFETY
HEALTH: ZOMBIFIED. HEAD SEVERELY DAMAGED.
STATUS: HELMET STILL MISSING.
Aigre Excalibur: ROLE: CORNERBACK
HEALTH: SPIRIT LODGED SAFELY INTO CHEERLEADER NPC'S BODY.
STATUS: NO CONTROL YET.
Failbird105: ROLE: SKAVEN STORMVERMIN
HEALTH: ARMS SLICED OPEN. ARMOR SOMEWHAT DAMAGED.
STATUS: FOUND SKAVEN WARREN DEEP UNDER FIELD. DOING NOTHING.
IcyTea31: ROLE: WIDE RECIEVER WHO THINKS HE IS AN F-16 PILOT
HEALTH: PHYSICALLY NORMAL, MENTALLY NOT.
STATUS: DODGING.
Egan_BW: ROLE: BEAST HUNTER
HEALTH: FINE.
STATUS: FINE.
OTHER/FREE AGENTS:
ATHATH: TEAM:
GREENROLE: GOALIE
HEALTH: NORMAL PHYSICAL FORM.
STATUS: ACOLYTE OF FOOTBALL. HAS TELESTRATOR AND TABLET.
randomgenericusernameTEAM:
GREENROLE: NASA ASTRONAUT
HEALTH: OUT OF THIS WORLD.
STATUS: TOPPLED.
Paxiecrunchle: TEAM: TEMPLARS
ROLE: DRUNK REFEREE
HEALTH: BLEEDING FROM MOUTH.
STATUS: HELPING TEAM. RECLAIMED PENALTY CARDS.
CrocAndBearLover: TEAM: TEMPLARS
ROLE: COMMANDER OF NOBLE KNIGHTS OF TEMPLAR ORDER, CHARLES III LE CHAMPAGNE
HEALTH: RIGHT LEG SOMEWHAT EXPLODED. MOSTLY PATCHED UP.
STATUS: PRAYER ABILITY NORMAL.
Madman198237: TEAM: 501ST LEGION
ROLE: STORMTROOPER SNIPER
HEALTH: MODERATE EAR DAMAGE
STATUS: DROPPED SUPPLY CRATE
scourge728: TEAM: DESTROYERS
ROLE: MEWTWO
HEALTH: 100%
STATUS: OUT OF PSYSTRIKE PP. MEGA EVOLVED FOR 3 TURNS INCLUDING THIS ONE. +1 TO SPECIAL ATTACKS.
Glass: TEAM: PIRATES
ROLE: CAPTAIN
HEALTH: HALE AND HARRRRTY.
STATUS: ON HIS FEET.
Yoink: TEAM: PIRATES
ROLE: CREWMAN
HEALTH: GOOD.
STATUS: HELPING.
King Zultan: TEAM: MEDICAL
ROLE: DOCTOR
HEALTH: RIGHT SHOULDER DAMAGED.
STATUS: CHUCKED BALL.
Secheral: TEAM: POETIC JUSTICE
ROLE: MASTER OF THE TROMBONE
HEALTH: FINE.
STATUS: PLAYED TROMBONE SO BADLY, HE GAVE MADDEN A TERROR AURA.
NPCS:
Man from Crowd: TEAM:
BLUEROLE: CHEERLEADER
HEALTH: UNHARMED.
STATUS: NO ORDERS.
3 Men from Crowd: TEAM: TEMPLARS
ROLE: KNIGHTS
HEALTH: UNHARMED.
STATUS: THEY WANT TO RECLAIM JERUSALEM.
Pokemon Trainer:
ROLE: TRAINER
HEALTH: UNHARMED.
STATUS: POWERING UP MEWTWO WITH KEYSTONE. CAPTURE FAILED.
BOSSES:
ELDER GOD MADDEN: TEAM:
GREENROLE: ABOMINATION
HEALTH: WEAKENED. BIG HOLE IN CHEST. DYING. SLIGHTLY EMPOWERED BY GIBBERISH.
STATUS: NOT WEAKENED ANYMORE. HAS AURA OF TERROR!
GENERAL INFORMATION: WOW I HAVEN'T UPDATED THE TEAM LIST IN AWHILE. I'M DOING SO NOW I GUESS.
SCORES:
RED: 0
BLUE: 3
PURPLE: 0
GREEN: 0
TEMPLARS: 0
501ST LEGION: 0
DESTROYERS: 0
PIRATES: 0
MEDICAL: 0
POETIC JUSTICE: 0
BALL STATUS: 45 YARDS FROM BLUE END ZONE.
RTD STADIUM:
SEATS OCCUPIED: 30,00/100,000
VIEWERS WATCHING LIVE: 45,000 PEOPLE.
SOCIAL MEDIA FOLLOWERS: 55,000 PEOPLE.
FOOTBALL TIP OF THE TURN: I GOT NOTHING HERE HONESTLY. JUST PLAY GOOD FOOTBALL.
JESUS THAT TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG. HOPEFULLY NEXT MONTH IS BETTER. I'LL BE UPDATING WIZARDS AND WHISKEY NEXT, FOLLOWED BY WIKI WARS.