Turn 11:
ORDER RECRUIT TO FIX THE VEHICLE. SACRIFICE DRIVER TO THE SOUND OF A NURSE'S CHEERING. IF CHEERING NOT HAPPEN, SACRIFICE #2.
3: YOU ORDER CHEERLEADER RECRUIT TO FIX THIS. HE COMPLY. NURSE DOESN'T CHEER.
2: HOWEVER, HE CAN'T MAKE IT TO VEHICLE YET. TOO FAR AWAY.
4v1: EFFORTLESSLY SACRIFICE NURSE.
6: CHEER GODS GRANT BOON. MINDS OF BLUE TEAM FILLED WITH TRULY GLORIOUS CHANTING. CROWD JOINS IN ON CHEERS.
BLUE TEAM GETS A GUARANTEED CHEER BONUS, AND CAN NO LONGER HEAR THE HORNS. THIS BOON WILL LAST 3 TURNS INCLUDING THIS ONE.
BACKUP/STAFF REACTION 5: FIELD NO LONGER HAS ANY EMERGENCY HEALTH ASSISTANTS. NEW ONES HAVE BEEN CALLED, BUT WON'T ARRIVE UNTIL NEXT TURN.
Get rid of paint and fix self then try to ram him again.
BE SOMEPLACE ELSE
5: AMBULANCE FIX SELF EASILY. POWERFUL REV OF ENGINE DISLODGES A LOT OF PAINT. YOU REJECT THE PURPLE TEAM.
4v3-1: YOU CHARGE GLASS. HE TRY TO BE ELSEWHERE BY TURNING AND RUNNIMG TO SIDE, BUT IT TOO LATE.
1-2: YOU SLAM DIRECTLY INTO GLASS FROM SIDE.
THE AMBULANCE STRIKES THE HEAD, JAMMING THE SKULL THROUGH THE BRAIN AND TEARING THE BRAIN.
GLASS HAS BEEN STRUCK DOWN.
(Respawn?)
CHARGE! TO THE BLUE ENDZONE! AFTER GRABBING BALL!
1: YOU TRY TO GRAB BALL WITH MOUTH. SMASH HEAD INTO GROUND AND MISS BALL ENTIRELY.
3: THIS NOT PLEASANT EXPERIENCE.
DAMIT! FIND AMMO BOXES AND RESTOCK!
(Eh. Absurd streaks aren't really a problem per se. If you roll 20 6 sided dice in a row separately it is completely possible to roll all ones. Inevitable even. Our brains like to find patterms where there are none. That said, I haven't seen anything especially bad.)
5: YOU HEAD TO SIDELINES. FIND A MAX AMMO PACK. EXCELLENT. SHOTGUN AMMO REFILLS AS WELL.
MAKE THAT STUPID PLASMA BOMB EXPLODE! After running away, of course.
5: YOU TAKE LOOK AT PLASMA BOMB. IT A DUD, BUT MAYBE COULD MAKE EXPLODE. YOU TAKE OUT THERMAL DETONATORS AND RIG BOMB UP. SHOULD BE EXTREMELY DEVASTATING. YOU ALSO REFILL FUEL, SO BOMB CAN BE RELAUNCHED AT ANY TARGET.
2: YOU CAN'T GET FAR ENOUGH AWAY YET. EXPLODE NOW WOULD BE SUICIDE. ALSO NOT MANY PEOPLE NEAR TO BOMB.
Pray for insight from the Great Sir Isaac Newton as to where to best throw my horns to damage the demon of madden. ALSO I SHOUT TO TEMPLAR FREIND, ''THOU MUS FIND COVER FROM WHICH TO APPROACH, FOR HE SUMMONS GREATER FEINDS''
3: YOU GET VAGUE NOTION FROM ISAAC NEWTON THAT YOU SHOULD THROW IN ARC TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF GRAVITY. STRIKE FROM ABOVE. YE GRAB MORE HORNS FROM CROWD.
4v2: AIR HORNS SMASH DIRECTLY INTO MADDEN WITH GRAVATIC FURY.
2-2: AIR HORNS MORE EFFECTIVE THIS TIME. MADDEN FURIOUS.
I DIDN'T SAY TO FAIL, I SAID TO DIG, DIG HARDER
4+1: YOU DIG INTO AREA WITH AIR POCKET. THIS THE PLACE. YOU SEE A SINGLE SKAVEN IN THE AREA, BUT MORE COULD BE PRESENT IN THESE TWISTING PASSAGES.
RUN TO BALL KICK BALL TOWARDS GOAL.
FIELD GOAL MODE INITIATED!
CURRENT DISTANCE: 40 YARDS.
DIFFICULTY: MODERATE.
ROLL REQUIRED FOR SUCCESS: 4.
SUCCESSFUL ROLLS REQUIRED: 1.
KICK ROLL: 6+1
THE BALL SAILS GRACEFULLY IN BETWEEN THE UPRIGHT POLES OF THE GOALPOST. ENTIRE STADIUM ROAR WITH EXCITEMENT AFTER FIRST SCORE OF GAME. 3 POINTS FOR BLUE TEAM. GAME WILL RECONVENE AT 50 YARD LINE OF SCRIMMAGE AFTER ALL REMAINING ACTIONS PROCESS.
I've made field goals a tiny bit little harder all around. In retrospect it was probably a little too easy to score this way especially given that a successful goal resets play. Apparently in the actual NFL the average kicker has a decent amount of difficulty at 35 yards or further away. 50 yards is 60% ish success rate for a good kicker, for example. The extra point conversion after a touchdown is near guaranteed though, and I'm honestly just going to automate that. An extra point conversion will happen on any roll of higher than 5 on a d100. As another note, from here on out missed field goals give possession of the ball to a random enemy player. I wouldn't have done so for this goal attempt though.
"OH YOU'RE DEAD, M'FUCKA!"
Float up to the top of the TURDUCKEN and consume its head, which the FOOTBALL FACT OF THE DAY implies is a separate part. Gain hivemind powers. I have literally considered in the past the idea of Kirby fighting necromorphs, and it is awesome.
4v3: YOU START INHALING TURDUCKEN HEAD. IT START SCREAMING MATCH WITH YOU. YELLOW PUSTULES ON HEAD BEGIN TO DETACH.
(Not really separate per se. No more separate than any other head anyway. This action is entirely possible to do though, because this is a minimalist game.)
TEAM: Mewtwo
ROLE: Destroyer
FIRST ACTION: PSYSTRIKE JOHN MADDEN
3: EH OKAY I GUESS. I'M GONNA SWAP THAT TEAM NAME AND ROLE NAME THOUGH. YOU FLY DOWN INTO FIELD WITH YOU PSYCHIC POWERS.
5v3: YOU UNLEASH PSYSTRIKE ATTACK ON MADDEN. PSYCHIC PARTICLES SMASH INTO HIS ELDRITCH FORM.
3-2: HIS LEFT LEG RIP OFF AND HIS BODY BEGIN TO FALL APART.
Sneakily attack Madden Demon with a Holy Cross. Hopefully it'll banish him from this realm.
5v2: YOU TAKE HOLY CROSS NECKLACE OFF NECK AND CHARGE MADDEN. HE INSTINCTIVELY RECOIL AT SIGHT, AND UNABLE TO DODGE.
6-3: HE SCREAM IN PAIN. DESPITE THE EFFECTIVENESS OF THE ATTACK, HE MANAGE TO HOLD ON.
STRIKE ENEMIES PRESSURE POINTS TO RELEASE BURSTS OF EARTH ENERGY THROUGHOUT THEIR BODY, CALCIFYING THEM AND TURNING THEM INTO COLD, DEAD STATUES.
DESPITE PLAY BEING CALLED OFF, YOU FURIOUS AT FAILURE. FURIOUS ENOUGH TO INVENT ENTIRELY NEW SECRET TECHNIQUE. YOU CHARGE BULL MASCOT AND UNLEASH NEW TECHNIQUE.
5v2: YOU STRIKE A GREAT MANY PRESSURE POINTS ON ZIIZO.
4: ZIIZO BODY SLOWLY BEGIN TO CALCIFY. IF NOTHING DONE, WILL BECOME A STATUE AT END OF SECOND TURN FROM NOW. FOR NOW HE HAS PENALTY TO ALL PHYSICAL ACTIONS.
GIVE TECHNIQUE NAME?
Use what is left of body to prevent enemies from reaching ball.
3-1: YOUR SERVICES NOT NEEDED. ALSO YOU STILL UNCONCIOUS.
MADDEN 5: MADDEN FILLED WITH GREAT RAGE FROM SUCH DAMAGE. HE CALL FORTH ANOTHER PORTAL. SMOKE FILLS THE AREA! A GREAT METAL SOUND CRASHES INTO THE ARENA. AS THE SMOKE CLEARS, A TERRIBLE MECHANICAL CONSTRUCTION IS REVEALED.
IT IS THE MADDEN CRUISER, A HUGE LUXURY TRANSPORT. IT COATED IN SPIKES AND BLOOD FROM ITS STAY OUTSIDE THE MORTAL REALM. IT EVEN LOOK TO HAVE A FEW GUNS MOUNTED. HIS BEATEN AND BLOODY FACE VISIBLE BEHIND WINDSHIELD. WHOLE CROWD SEE HIM PULL A LEVEL BEHIND THE WHEEL VIA VIDEO SCREEN IN STADIUM.
3: VEHICLE BEGIN TO SHIFT, BEND, AND CHANGE IN SHAPE.
WHATEVER IT IS BECOMING, YOU DON'T HAVE LONG TO STOP IT.
TURDUCKEN 2: TURDUCKEN STILL OCCUPIED WITH KIRBY.
SUDDENLY, ALL PLAYERS AND NPCS ARE TRANSPORTED VIA GLOWING LIGHT TO THEIR APPROPRIATE LOCATIONS. SAID LOCATIONS CAN BE FOUND ON THIS MAP. NOTE: FAILBIRD STILL UNDERGROUND WITH POSITION UNCHANGED. HE OUT OF RANGE I GUESS. THAT AND I DIDN'T WANT TO RUIN SEVERAL TURNS OF EFFORT. HE OFFICIALLY ON SIDELINES RESTING INJURIES, LET'S PUT IT THAT WAY. ALSO SECHERAL AND KING ZULTAN CURRENTLY SHARE A TILE.
https://imgur.com/a/tKXZnMap Key: Most objects or people are assigned two or three letters for shorthand. If it isn't obvious who is who, then tell me.
FB: The Football
PB: Plasma Bomb
JM: John Madden/Madden Cruiser/ATHATH
TD: Turducken
BCM: Blue Cheerleader Man
RED TEAM:
Mallos:
ROLE: QUARTERBACK
HEALTH: BODY A BIT SORE. SLIGHTLY EXHAUSTED.
STATUS: CALCIFIED ZIIZO
crazyabe:
ROLE: TACKLE
HEALTH: RIGHT ARM MODERATELY GOUGED.
STATUS:
FallacyOfUrist:
ROLE: MASCOT: RED BULL
HEALTH: HEAD HURTS.
STATUS: HEAD PLANTED IN GROUND
Dustan Hache:
ROLE: SOLDIER
HEALTH: UNHARMED
STATUS: EMPTY ROCKET LAUNCHER. EMPTY SHOTGUN. FULL RESERVE AMMO.
BLUE TEAM:
ziizo:
ROLE: SAFETY
HEALTH: BEING CALCIFIED. 2 TURNS UNTIL STATUE. -1 TO ALL PHYSICAL ACTIONS.
STATUS: FINE.
Aigre Excalibur:
ROLE: Cornerback
HEALTH: MAJOR CONCUSSION. BRUISED UPPER BODY. WOUNDED LEGS. UNCONCIOUS.
STATUS: ASLEEP.
Failbird105:
ROLE: SKAVEN STORMVERMIN
HEAKTH: ARMS SLICED OPEN. ARMOR SOMEWHAT DAMAGED.
STATUS: FOUND SKAVEN WARREN DEEP UNDER FIELD.
Secheral:
ROLE: CHEERLEADER
HEALTH: HEALTHY
STATUS: HIJACKING AMBULANCE. KILLED BOTH OCCUPANTS.
OTHER/FREE AGENTS:
Glass:
TEAM:
PURPLEROLE: CONFUSED SOCCER PLAYER
HEALTH: DEAD.
STATUS: COATED AMBULANCE IN PURPLE PAINT.
ATHATH:
TEAM:
GREENROLE: ELDER GOD JOHN MADDEN
HEALTH: SPIRIT INSIDE MADDEN.
STATUS: ACOLYTE OF FOOTBALL. MADDEN SYNC RATIO: 60%.
Paxiecrunchle:
TEAM: TEMPLARS
ROLE: DRUNK REFEREE
HEALTH: BLEEDING FROM MOUTH.
STATUS: SUCCESSFULLY ATTACKING MADDEN.
Egan_BW:
TEAM:
PINKROLE: KIRBY
HEALTH: INJURED.
STATUS: NO POWER.
CrocAndBearLover:
TEAM: TEMPLARS
ROLE: COMMANDER OF NOBLE KNIGHTS OF TEMPLAR ORDER, CHARLES III LE CHAMPAGNE
HEALTH: RIGHT LEG MOSTLY EXPLODED.
STATUS: ATTACKING MADDEN
Madman198237:
TEAM: 501ST LEGION
ROLE: STORMTROOPER SNIPER
HEALTH: MODERATE EAR DAMAGE
STATUS: EXECUTING ORDER 66.
King Zultan
TEAM: NOT SURE
ROLE: AMBULANCE
HEALTH: NOT AS PURPLE ANYMORE.
STATUS: ATTACKING GLASS.
scourge728
TEAM: DESTROYERS
ROLE: MEWTWO
HEALTH: 100%
STATUS: PSYSTRIKING.
NPCS:
Man from Crowd:
ROLE: BLUE CHEERLEADER
HEALTH: UNHARMED.
STATUS: RESTING.
BOSSES:
ELDER GOD MADDEN:
ROLE: ELDRITCH ABOMINATION
HEALTH: MODERATE DAMAGE TO CORPOREAL FORM. LEFT LEG RIPPED OFF. ALMOST COMPLETELY BANISHED BY AIRHORNS.
STATUS: YEP. THAT'S HIM ALL RIGHT.
UNDEAD TURDUCKEN DEMON:
ROLE: ALLY OF ELDER GOD MADDEN. TECHNICALLY GREEN TEAM MASCOT.
HEALTH: SLIGHT BLUNT DAMAGE FROM AIR BLAST. HEAD BEING INHALED.
STATUS: IT IS TERRIFYING.
GENERAL INFORMATION:
SCORES:
RED: 0
BLUE: 3
PURPLE: 0
GREEN: 0
PINK: 0
TEMPLARS: 0
501ST LEGION: 0
NOT SURE: 0
BALL STATUS: AT 50 YARD LINE. ON GROUND.
RTD STADIUM:
BRZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!AIR HORN SOUND NO LONGER CAUSES A PENALTY. REJOICE!
SEATS OCCUPIED: 15,500/100,000
VIEWERS WATCHING LIVE: 17,500 PEOPLE.
SOCIAL MEDIA FOLLOWERS: 27,000 PEOPLE.
FOOTBALL TIP OF THE TURN: IN THE EVENT OF A TOUCHDOWN OR FIELD GOAL, ONLY RED AND BLUE TEAM LINE UP AT THE BALL. ALL THIRD PARTIES START AT SIDELINES. THIS TO INCENTIVISE TEAMWORK SORT OF I GUESS.
Question: How is everyone liking things so far? Any reccomendations or feedback?
ALSO HEY, SOMEONE FINALLY DIED. COULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED TO A BETTER PERSON, I GUESS.
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Topic: A GAME OF FOOTBALL: CANCELLED (Read 28729 times)