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[Failbird105]

fuckin' bite this man, counter his action with my teeth!

[Person]

Hmn. No, penalty kicks isn't worth it.
ACQUIRE FUTBOL

3: YOU RUN TO BALL. NOT MAKE IT ALL WAY. BALL NOW 10 YARDS AWAY. IT ALREADY BEING FOUGHT OVER. PICK SIDE Y/N?

MORE CHEER IS NEEDED. USE CHEERFUL PERSUASION ON SPECTATOR TO CONVERT HIM INTO A CHEERLEADER. IF FAIL, BLUDGEON HIM INTO SUBMISSION. CHEERFULLY.

2: YOU ATTEMPT PERSUADE MALE SPECTATOR JOIN YOUR CHEERS. UTTERLY FAIL, HE PREFER REMAIN IN CROWD.

6v3: SUDDENLY, YOU ENTER CROWD AND BRUTALLY BEGIN TO BEAT HIM DOWN.

Submit 4: HE SAY OKAY OKAY, I JOIN IN.

4-1: HE NOT VERY GOOD, BUT EVERY BIT HELP CAUSE.

FFFFFFUUUUCK. DAMN RAT-MEN THAT DON'T EXIST. HISO HAKUREI THE STORM-VERMIN BASTARD. MAKE SURE I'VE GOT THE BALL AFTERWARDS.

fuckin' bite this man, counter his action with my teeth!

(Since you both tried to attack each other at the same time, these attack rolls will directly compete rather than simply be contested as usual.)

3v3: MALLOS COMPLETE SOMERSAULT AND PREPARE ARM SLICE. AS HE BRING DOWN ARMS, FAILBIRD LATCH ON WITH TEETH. BOTH FOOTBALLERS STUCK IN GRAPPLE! WHO WILL CLAIM ADVANTAGE FIRST?

4v2: MALLOS KICK FAILBIRD AWAY, AND EXECUTE TECHNIQUE. IT NOT PERFECT STRIKE, BUT FAILBIRD ARMS WOUNDED NOW.

YOU CLAIM BALL WITH THIS OPPORTUNITY, BUT CAN'T RUN IT VERY FAR.

ATTEMPT TO BECOME FOOTBALL REGARDLESS

YOU PLAY DANGEROUS GAME.

2-1(Insanity penalty): ATTEMPT BECOME FOOTBALL. EXISTING FOOTBALL BECOME ANGRY YOU TRY REPLACE IT. AS YOUR FOOTBALL FORM ENTERS FIELD, YOU SUDDENLY ANNIHILATED BY AN ABSURD AMOUNT OF ANTIMATTER. YOU NO EXIST NOW. EXPLOSION CONTAINED, SO NO COLLATERAL DAMAGE.

ASK THE CROWD FOR A HEALING SPELL.

YOU HOPE FOR MIRACLE. AT TOP OF LUNGS YOU SHOUT ONLY THIS. "I NEED HEALING!"

5: FOOTBALL PARAMEDICS LOAD YOU ONTO STRETCHER. THEY TAKE YOU OFF FIELD AND START PATCH YOU UP. ONE WAS CLEARLY WIZARD, BECAUSE THEY FIXED INJURIES FAST.

Team: Turquoise
Role: Drunk Referee

Attempt prevent players on all teams from breaking the laws of physics, throw air horn at any who do.

6: I ALLOW IT.

4: NO PLAYERS CURRENTLY BREAKING LAWS OF PHYSICS. YOUR HORN LIE IN WAIT.

RED TEAM:

Mallos:
TEAM: RED
ROLE: QUARTERBACK
STATUS: BODY A BIT SORE. FEET HURT A LITTLE BIT. IN POSESSION.

crazyabe:
TEAM: RED
ROLE: TACKLE
STATUS: STARING BLANKLY INTO DISTANCE.

BLUE TEAM:

ziizo:
TEAM: BLUE
ROLE: SAFETY
STATUS: MIRACULOUSLY CURED.

Aigre Excalibur:
TEAM: BLUE
ROLE: Cornerback
STATUS: STARING BLANKLY INTO DISTANCE.

Failbird105:
TEAM: BLUE
ROLE: SKAVEN STORMVERMIN
STATUS: ARMS SLICED OPEN MODERATELY.

Secheral:
TEAM: BLUE
ROLE: CHEERLEADER
STATUS: SLIGHTLY RAISING BLUE MORALE. RECRUITED MAN FROM CROWD TO HELP.

OTHER/FREE AGENTS:

Glass:
TEAM: PURPLE
ROLE: CONFUSED SOCCER PLAYER
STATUS: THOROUGHLY CONFUSED. INTIMIDATING ATHATH.

ATHATH:
TEAM: GREEN
ROLE: GOALIE
STATUS: MENTALLY UNHINGED. SOMEWHAT INTIMIDATED.

Paxiecrunchle:
TEAM: TURQUOISE
ROLE: DRUNK REFEREE
STATUS: ENFORCING LAWS OF PHYSICS.

GENERAL INFORMATION:

SCORES:
RED: 0
BLUE: 0
GREEN: 0
PURPLE: 0
TURQUOISE: 0

BALL STATUS: 25 YARDS LEFT TO RED TOUCHDOWN. IN MALLOS HANDS.

RTD STADIUM:

SEATS OCCUPIED: 5,500/100,000
VIEWERS WATCHING LIVE: 12,500 PEOPLE.
SOCIAL MEDIA FOLLOWERS: 6,500 PEOPLE.

FOOTBALL TIP OF THE TURN: EXPLOITING FANS TEND TO MAKE CROWD ANGRY. AVOID DOING SO TOO OFTEN.

[Glass]

PICK SIDE Y/N?

What?

PICK SIDE Y/N?

What are you even saying?

PICK SIDE Y/N?

Wha- no! Fuck you!

PICK SI- SQUELCH

NO! FUCK THAT SHIT! IMA BE HOSTILE SWITZERLAND! THAT BALL'S MINE!

[crazyabe]

JACK PARAMEDIC VEHICLE, DRIVE OVER BLUE TEAM

[Person]

(That prompt was basically just me asking if you were going to attack/aid one of them over the other. Obviously you're an enemy of both the red and blue teams in the long term regardless of what your answer was since you're on a different team. The no option was basically there if you wanted to ignore them and just grab the ball, leaving them to their fighting. Which is what you're doing evidently, so yeah. Filler text basically. Also you can't just attack the narrator like that, its rude. Plus that's not even getting into the meta elements involved. But I digress.)

[FallacyofUrist]

TEAM: RED
ROLE: TEAM MASCOT, THE RED BULL! SPONSORED BY RED BULL!
FIRST ACTION: PROVIDE ENERGY-BOOSTING RED BULL TO RED TEAM.

[Mallos]

"MESS WITH ME AGAIN AND I'LL GUT YOU LIKE A CORNISH GAME HEN... ER, GAME RAT? THOSE EXIST RIGHT?"

LEAP GRACEFULLY TOWARD THE END-ZONE, HIT THE GROUND RUNNING IF I DON'T QUITE MAKE IT. AND REMEMBER, ANYONE WHO TRIES TO GET THE BALL IS GETTING NANTO SUICHO KEN'D.

[Aigre Excalibur]

just keep charging. Gotta keep charging.

[ziizo]

SUPLEX PARAMEDIC CAR DON'T ALLOW IT TO HURT MY TEAM.
IF CRAZYABE CANNOT JACK THE PARAMEDIC CAR THEN JUST GO TO WHOEVER HAS THE BALL AND REPLACE IT WITH MY HELMET WITHOUT HIM/HER NOTICING.

[Secheral]

HE WILL LEARN TO LOVE IT. TEACH RECRUIT THE WAYS OF CHEERLEADING.

[Paxiecrunchle]

AJEER AND TAUNT RED TEAM INTO BREAKING LAWS OF PHYSICS ''JUST GRAB BALL BY FLOAT OVER'' I SCREAM. THIS LET ME THROW HORN AND GAIN POINT BY ENFOCING NEWTONS AND ENSTIENS BABIES, NO?

IF PEOPLE COME FROM PORTALS I THROW SO MANNY HORNS AT ZEM THAT THEY FLY AWAY

[CABL]

In the middle of the stadium, the time portal opens up. Weird people, clad in the armor of the Templar Order from the Middle Ages, stand in the middle. They look around and scream, "DEUS VULT!"

Team: Templars.
ROLE: Saracen infestation handling squad.
FIRST ACTION: Slaughter someone with our swords, then try to find the answer to our question: Where's Jerusalem?

[Paxiecrunchle]

OOC; can I modify my above post if this guys roll succeeds these guys are clearly violating and abusing the laws of physics and should be booted

[Failbird105]

Give into my hatred and perform The Raging Demon on my foe!

[Dustan Hache]

Fine.

Team:red! no, wait. That's blood.
Role:Soldier
Action: emerge from the other side of portal(which obviously has to handle space) and start shooting blue team with CROCKETS FROM MY ROCKET LAUNCHER!