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[Mallos]

CHUG BOTH CANS OF REDBULL. UNLEASH MY ULTIMATE WRATH UPON THE TURDUCKEN IN THE FORM OF THE SENJUKAI KEN.

[CABL]

TAKE OUT MY CROSSBOW AND SHOOT TURDUCKEN!
WHEN PAXIECRUNCHLE DRAGS ME TO THE CROWD, RECRUIT SOME PEOPLE IN THE TEMPLAR ORDER.

[IcyTea31]

Let's try that again.

Team: Red
Role: Wide receiver who thinks he is an F-16 pilot
First action: Run along the sideline, ready to receive a pass. Make airplane noises the whole time. If nobody passes the ball, flip the double bird to the vuvuzela players.

[King Zultan]

Team: Medical
Role: Doctor
First Action: Ignore anyone with injuries, run and get the football.

[Egan_BW]

Eat the doctor to gain his power, and heal myself. Then throw the power at turducken and go back to eating it.

[Dustan Hache]

Eat the doctor to gain his power, and heal myself. Then throw the power at turducken and go back to eating it.

Save the doc by throwing one of my cans of red bull into Kirby's mouth. Convince saved doc to join red team and get his Medigun.

[Person]

Turn 13: FEELING LUCKY? I'M NOT. BUT THAT'S TOTALLY IRRELEVENT. ALSO I MIGHT NOT HAVE USED DICE THIS TURN. I PROBABLY DID THOUGH. OR DID I?

WAR NEVER CHANGES. OR DOES IT? I SUPPOSE ITS ALL THE SAME. IN THE END ONLY ONE THING TRULY MATTERS. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?

Run back and use that stupid plasma bomb on the Turducken---what would the Imperial Navy say if I didn't use their toy to blow SOMETHING up?

6: YOU ACTIVATE PLASMA BOMB REMOTELY. IT ROCKET INTO AIR AND SAIL IN ELEGANT ARC AT TURDUCKEN.

3v4: THE TURDUCKEN START RUN TO AVOID BOMB, BUT WILL TAKE STRIKE.

5v3: KIRBY, WHO IS NEARBY IS LESS SUCCESSFUL.

TURDUCKEN ENDURANCE 3+1: TURDUCKEN SUFFER HUGE PLASMA BURNS ON RIGHT SIDE. NOW WE COOKING. TURDUCKEN SCREECHES IN ANGER, AND RE-EXAMINES IT PRIORITIES.
KIRBY ENDURANCE 1-2: KIRBY COMPLETELY UNPREPARED FOR IMMENSE PLASMA EXPLOSION. ALL REMAINING LIFE DEPLETED.

I ARRRRRR THE FOOTBALL PIRATE AND HIS CREW!
STEAL THE BALL, ME HEARTIES!
(Team: Pirates, of course.)

(Please continue to use the appropriate entrance form in the future. Its okay if a couple people do it this way on occasion but if everyone was I'd honestly probably start missing people on occasion and no one wants that.)

ENTRANCE SUCCESSFUL!

YOU EMBARK ONTO GRASSY FIELD FROM SIDE LINES. SEE WEIRD ITEM TONS OF PEOPLE FIGHTING OVER. MUST BE PRECIOUS BOOTY! HOWEVER, YE HEARTIES ARE MISSING! PERHAPS YE'LL HAVE TO RECRUIT SOME NEW ONES. THAT OR YE CREW IS STILL NURSING THAT HANGOVER. IT COULD BE EITHER WAY.

1: YE MAKE CHARGE AT BALL. YE PEG LEG DIG INTO FIELD, AND YOU TRIP OVER. THIS NO ORDINARY GRASS. LUCKILY, YE DO NOT COME TO ANY HARRRRRM.

TEAM: GREEN
ROLE: NASA ASTRONAUT
FIRST ACTION: DESCEND FROM THE MOON INTO RTD STADIUM. ATTEMPT TO USE LUNAR TEXT TO SPEECH MAGIC TO RESUMMON JOHN MADDEN.

SUCCESS!

5: YOU DESCEND IN NASA SPACE SUIT. YOU FIDDLE WITH INTERNAL ELECTRONICS AND HACK INTO STADIUM SPEAKERS. YOU SPOUT THE FOLLOWING GIBBERISH.

"AEIOU! AEIOU! AEIOU! AEIOU! AEIOU! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! OH NO ANOTHER CHINESE EARTHQUAKE EBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBR!"

YOUR GIBBERISH BEWILDERS THE CROWD, BUT INVIGORATES THE TURDUCKEN. IT RECOGNIZES A KINDRED SOUL. YOU CONTINUE.

"John Madden! John Madden! John Madden! John Madden! FOOTBALL!"
"99999999999999999999999999999999999!"

"JOHN MADDEN FOOTBALL!"

THE EARTH TREMORS, AND ELDER GOD MADDEN RETURNS. HE STILL WEAKENED BY THE DEATH OF HIS PREVIOUS FORM. ALSO HE HAD TO CREATE A NEW BODY INSTEAD OF POSSESSING ONE.

(I KIND OF WANTED TO BRING IN A DIFFERENT FOOTBALL DIETY THIS TIME, BUT YOU ASKED FOR MADDEN SPECIFICALLY.)

GET A FAN TO FEED ME RED BULL FROM CAN. FROM MANY CANS. USE SUGAR RUSH TO CHARGE BLUE TEAM AND KNOCK THEM DOWWWWN!

Pray to the revenge gods to remove my curse and give it to mallos

Abandon wounded body. Take control of another. MUST GET BALL MUST SCORE GOALS.

4: LUCKILY, THERE CAN WITHIN REACH. YOU WERE TAUGHT TO DRINK IT AS A MASCOT STUNT. BITE HOLE IN IT AND DOWN ENTIRE CAN IN SECONDS. IMPRESSIVE DEXTERITY.

5: ZIIZO PRAY FOR REVENGE! HIS STONY CURSE TRANSFERRED TO MALLOS!

3: AIGRE TRY ABANDON BODY GET NEW ONE. HE LATCH ONTO MAN FROM CROWD WAS RECRUITED TO CHEERLEAD. HE NOT FULLY TRANSFER YET.

5v1+1: ZIIZO DIRECTLY IN YOU PATH. YOU BOWL HIM OVER AND KEEP GOING, PUSHING HIS RENEWED BODY UNDER YOUR HOOVES.

ENDURANCE 1-3: HOOF SMASH DIRECTLY THROUGH HEART AND OTHER MAJOR ORGANS. BLEED OUT QUICKLY.

5v3+1=-2: AIGRE UNCONCIOUS. YOU TRAMPLE HIM OVER.

ENDURANCE 1-2: HE DIE FROM IMMENSE BRAIN TRAUMA.

TRANSFER CONTINUE? 5: MIRACULOUSLY, THE BRAIN TRAUMA SEVERS HIS EXISTENCE IN EXACTLY THE RIGHT WAY, AND HIS SPIRIT SAIL ACROSS FIELD INTO CROWD MAN'S BODY.

2: HE NOT COMPLETE TAKE OVER YET THOUGH.

TEAM: FOOD SUPPLIES
ROLE: SENTIENT AND EDIBLE  BREADSTICK MAN
FIRST ACTION: GRAB AS MANY OF MY BRETHEREN AS I CAN HOLD AND ESCAPE THIS MIGHTY PRISON, THE CRATE.

1: UM. NO. SORRY.

MORE PSYSTRIKE!!!!

1: PSYSTRIKE OUT OF PP. HOW UNFORTUNATE! SHOULD HAVE REFILLED IT BEFORE YOU LEFT.

this is a very fun game.

DRAG THE TEMPLAR WITH ME AND INTEROGATE THE CROWD IN AN ATTEMPT TO LOCATE WHO STOLE MY PENALTY CARDS!

(Thanks.)

5:  YOU DRAG TEMPLAR AWAY FROM WAR ZONE AND START SEARCHING FOR THIEF. SUDDENLY, YOU SEE A HOODED FIGURE WAVING CARDS AROUND. PEOPLE AROUND FIGURE LAUGHING.

3v3: YOU ATTEMPT TO RECLAIM PENALTY CARDS, BUT THEY STILL HAVE GRASP. IT VERITABLE TUG OF WAR!

CHUG BOTH CANS OF REDBULL. UNLEASH MY ULTIMATE WRATH UPON THE TURDUCKEN IN THE FORM OF THE SENJUKAI KEN.

5: YOU CHUG BOTH CANS AND FLEX VICTORIOUSLY! CALCIFICATION CURSE WAS DISPELLED! AS YOUR SPIRITUAL ENERGY REACH MAXIMUM, YOU GAIN PAIR OF WINGS.

3+1v5: UNLEASH THOUSAND HAND DESTRUCTION FIST! VERY EFFECTIVE ATTACK, BUT GREATLY RESISTED BY TURDUCKEN'S UNNATURAL EXTERIOR! IT STILL TAKE DAMAGE.

TAKE OUT MY CROSSBOW AND SHOOT TURDUCKEN! WHEN PAXIECRUNCHLE DRAGS ME TO THE CROWD, RECRUIT SOME PEOPLE IN THE TEMPLAR ORDER.

3v5: YOU FIRE CROSSBOW AT TURDUCKEN! BOLT BOUNCE OFF HIDE. FEARSOME ENEMY.

5: YOU LITERALLY PREACH TO THE CROWD TO GET THEM TO JOIN KNIGHTS TEMPLAR. A FEW PEOPLE SCREAM "DEUS VULT" AND RALLY TO YOUR SIDE. YOU KNIGHT THEM POSTHASTE. HOWEVER, THEY LACK ARMAMENTS.

Team: Red
Role: Wide receiver who thinks he is an F-16 pilot
First action: Run along the sideline, ready to receive a pass. Make airplane noises the whole time. If nobody passes the ball, flip the double bird to the vuvuzela players.

6: YOU ZOOM OUT TO FIELD, ARMS SPREAD OUT LIKE AN AIRPLANE. YOUR AIRPLANE NOISES IMPRESSIVE.

NOBODY PASSES BALL TO YOU, MOSTLY BECAUSE NO ONE HAS THE BALL.

3: YOU FLIP BIRD AS VUVUZELA PLAYERS. MOST OF THEM COME OUT OF TRANCE AND STOP PLAYING. QUIET AT LAST!

(I had to put you on blue team to balance the teams. Sorry.)

Team: Medical
Role: Doctor
First Action: Ignore anyone with injuries, run and get the football.

6: YOU EXIT AMBULANCE AND RUSH ONTO FIELD. BALL NOW IN YOUR HANDS! WHAT NEXT?

Eat the doctor to gain his power, and heal myself. Then throw the power at turducken and go back to eating it.

Save the doc by throwing one of my cans of red bull into Kirby's mouth. Convince saved doc to join red team and get his Medigun.

NONE OF THIS NECESSARY.

RED TEAM:
Mallos:
ROLE: QUARTERBACK
HEALTH: INVIGORATED BY RED BULL. LITERALLY GAINED WINGS.
STATUS: +1 TO ALL ACTION FOR 3 TURNS INCLUDING THIS ONE.
crazyabe:
ROLE: TACKLE
HEALTH: RIGHT ARM MODERATELY GOUGED.
STATUS: STARING INTO SPACE. HAS TWO CANS OF RED BULL.
FallacyOfUrist:
ROLE: MASCOT: RED BULL
HEALTH: FINE.
STATUS: DID JOB AS MASCOT.
Dustan Hache:
ROLE: SOLDIER
HEALTH: UNHARMED
STATUS: EMPTY ROCKET LAUNCHER. EMPTY SHOTGUN. MODERATE RESERVE AMMO. HAS TWO CANS OF RED BULL.

BLUE TEAM:
Aigre Excalibur:
ROLE: Cornerback
HEALTH: SPIRIT LODGED SAFELY INTO CHEERLEADER NPC'S BODY. UNABLE TO TAKE OVER YET.
STATUS: NO CONTROL YET.
Failbird105:
ROLE: SKAVEN STORMVERMIN
HEALTH: ARMS SLICED OPEN. ARMOR SOMEWHAT DAMAGED.
STATUS: FOUND SKAVEN WARREN DEEP UNDER FIELD. DOING NOTHING.
IcyTea31:
TEAM: BLUE
ROLE: WIDE RECIEVER WHO THINKS HE US AN F-16 PILOT
HEALTH: PHYSICAL NORMAL, MENTAL NOT.
STATUS: FLIPPING OFF CROWD.

BOON FROM CHEER GODS OVER.

OTHER/FREE AGENTS:
ATHATH:
TEAM: GREEN
ROLE: GOALIE
HEALTH: NORMAL PHYSICAL FORM.
STATUS: ACOLYTE OF FOOTBALL. HAS TELESTRATOR AND TABLET.
randomgenericusername
TEAM: GREEN
ROLE: NASA ASTRONAUT
HEALTH: OUT OF THIS WORLD.
STATUS: AEIOU!

Paxiecrunchle:
TEAM: TEMPLARS
ROLE: DRUNK REFEREE
HEALTH: BLEEDING FROM MOUTH.
STATUS: HELPING TEAM.
CrocAndBearLover:
TEAM: TEMPLARS
ROLE: COMMANDER OF NOBLE KNIGHTS OF TEMPLAR ORDER, CHARLES III LE CHAMPAGNE
HEALTH: RIGHT LEG SOMEWHAT EXPLODED. MOSTLY PATCHED UP.
STATUS: PRAYER ABILITY NORMAL.

Madman198237:
TEAM: 501ST LEGION
ROLE: STORMTROOPER SNIPER
HEALTH: MODERATE EAR DAMAGE
STATUS: DETONATED HUGE PLASMA BOMB ON TURDUCKEN.
scourge728
TEAM: DESTROYERS
ROLE: MEWTWO
HEALTH: 100%
STATUS: OUT OF PSYSTRIKE PP.
Glass:
TEAM: PIRATES
ROLE: CAPTAIN
HEALTH: HALE AND HARRRRTY.
STATUS: STILL USING HIS SEA LEGS.
King Zultan:
TEAM: MEDICAL
ROLE: DOCTOR
HEALTH: FINE.
STATUS: HAS BALL.

NPCS:

Man from Crowd:
TEAM: BLUE
ROLE: CHEERLEADER
HEALTH: UNHARMED.
STATUS: NO ORDERS.

3 Men from Crowd:
TEAM: TEMPLARS
ROLE: KNIGHTS
HEALTH: UNHARMED.
STATUS: THEY WANT TO RECLAIM JERUSALEM.

BOSSES:

ELDER GOD MADDEN:
TEAM: GREEN
ROLE: YOU KNOW THIS BY NOW.
HEALTH: WEAKENED.
STATUS: TAKES MORE DAMAGE FOR THIS TURN AND THE NEXT TURN.

UNDEAD TURDUCKEN DEMON:
TEAM: GREEN
ROLE: ALLY OF ELDER GOD MADDEN/ATHATH/randomgenericusername. TECHNICALLY GREEN TEAM MASCOT.
HEALTH: SLIGHT BLUNT DAMAGE TO HEAD. SEVERE BURNS TO RIGHT SIDE. MODERATE DAMAGE TO LEFT WING.
STATUS: ANGERY!

GENERAL INFORMATION:

SCORES:
RED: 0
BLUE: 3
PURPLE: 0
GREEN: 0
PINK: 0
TEMPLARS: 0
501ST LEGION: 0
NOT SURE: 0

BALL STATUS: AT 50 YARD LINE.

RTD STADIUM: QUIET ONCE MORE!

SEATS OCCUPIED: 27,500/100,000
VIEWERS WATCHING LIVE: 35,000 PEOPLE.
SOCIAL MEDIA FOLLOWERS: 50,000 PEOPLE.

FOOTBALL TIP OF THE TURN: USUALLY THE TEAM THAT SCORES THE MOST POINTS WINS THE GAME!

[Glass]

AAAAAAARRRRRRRG!
STEAL THE BALL, I SAID! CREW, TO AAAARRRRMS!

[IcyTea31]

Go for the ball. Fire missiles* at anyone trying to stop me.

*fists

[ziizo]

"Even in death I will assure my team victory"

Come Back as a zombie attack ball holder unless s/he is of blue team

[Madman198237]

Request assistance from the 501st. While they come save me, shoot Madden (Who's clearly some sort of JEDI SCUM)

[randomgenericusername]

"aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou."
Slowly moonwalk towards the FOOTBALL while still chanting text-to-speech gibberish after everyone else moves. Get the FOOTBALL and attemp to use it as a power source for John Madden.

[Person]

I accidentally forgot Kirby was dead when I got to their action. I've fixed that bit. May want to reread if you were involved.

[Secheral]

TEAM: POETIC JUSTICE
ROLE: MASTER OF THE TROMBONE
FIRST ACTION: DECLARE MY ARRIVAL WITH A MIGHTY TUNE COMPOSED BY YOURS TRULY THAT WILL STRIKE TERROR INTO THE HEARTS OF EVEN THE MOST FEARLESS ELDRITCH CREATURES. IT GOES A LITTLE LIKE THIS: WAH WAH WAH WAAAAH.

[Dustan Hache]

"WE NEED TO KILL THAT.. THAT.. UGLY MAGGOT!" point at the astronaut and try to convince everyone, on all teams, to kill them! Also, reload my weapons.