Turn 12: REAL DICE USED THIS TURN. THEY PRETTY GOOD ONES. (GOD THIS TOOK WAY TOO LONG. NEED TO CHECK MY PRIORITIES. I'LL MAKE NEXT MONTH EVEN BETTER I SWEAR.)
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Mash b button to inhale harder! If it launches a projectile attack eat it and spit it back!
[glow=red]"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"[/glow]
2v5: YOU LOSE INHALE WAR. TURDUCKEN CLAMP DOWN ON YOU. IT BITE REALLY HARD, BUT SPIT YOU OUT. TAKE MODERATE DAMAGE.
(I rolled for projectile or physical attack. It was physical, as is probably obvious.)
TEAM: ZOMBIES
ROLE: A WHOLE BUNCH OF ZOMBIES
FIRST ACTION: RISE FROM THE ABANDONED INDIAN BURIAL GROUND THIS FIELD WAS BUILT ON
1: NFL APPARENTLY MOVED BODIES OR SOMETHING, BECAUSE YOU NOT SPAWN THIS WAY. AT LEAST NOT YET.
Pray to the earth gods to remove the calcification curse.
NAME NEW TECHNIQUE: NORTH STAR PETRIFYING STRIKE.
HURTLE TOWARDS ZIIZO AND BEAT HIM SENSELESS BEFORE HE CAN UTTER ANY PRAYERS.
2: ZIIZO PRAYERS GO UNANSWERED.
4v5-1+1: MALLOS TRY TO BEAT ZIIIZO SENSELESS, BUT CHEER GOD BOON ALLOW HIS GREAT SWIFTNESS DESPITE STIFF LIMBS.
SPEAKING OF STIFF LIMBS, ZIIZO NOW STIFFER, HAS -2 TO ACTIONS.
BY THE WAY THAT BOON WEAR OFF AT END OF NEXT TURN.
GAH GET MY HEAD OUT OF THE GROUND. THEN DISTRIBUTE RED BULL DRINK TO TEAMMATES.
YOU REMOVE HEAD FROM GROUND EASILY DURING TRANSPORT. NOT NEED ROLL.
5: YOU SHAKE BODY AROUND AND CANS OF RED BULL ARE JETTISONNED ALL AROUND FIELD. ALL RED TEAM MEMBERS CATCH 2 CANS EACH. SOME CANS STILL REMAIN.
"Mine Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I ask thou to give me tactical advice. I will use all of thine knowledge about warfare... Amen!"
Hope that Jesus Christ gives me some advice. After all, in CK2, Jesus gives you whooping +20 to the Martial skill when you hear him. Use said advice to stop The Madden Demon.
1: JESUS NOT ANSWER. TRULY THESE ARE TRYING TIMES. PERHAPS THIS A TEST OF YOUR RESOLVE AS A MAN OF GOD?
4v2: DESPITE SEVERELY INJURED LEG, YOU CHARGE VILE CONTRAPTION. YOU RIP INTO ITS HIDE WITH A SINGLE SLASH. THE CIRCULAR PROTRUSION RELEASES A BURST OF AIR. DIDST YOU DESTROY A LUNG? ONWARD!
-1 TO PRAYER ACTIONS NEXT TURN.
NOT ON MY WATCH. CALL DOWN MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF GIANT PINK POM POMS ONTO THE MADDEN CRUISER. THEIR MUSCULAR AND RESILIENT STRINGS ARE SENTIENT AND EQUIPPED WITH THE REQUIRED KNOWLEDGE ON HIJACKING AN ELDRITCH CRUISER. NOW YOU WILL LEARN WHY YOU FEAR THE NIGHT MADDEN.
6+1v1: CHEER GODS ASSIST THIS ACTION. A LITERAL TON OF POM POMS COVERED IN HACKING BLADES SMASHES DOWN TOWARD THE MADDEN CRUISER.
THE CONTRAPTION IS HACKED TO BITS, AND EXPLODES INTO A GLORIOUS CLOUD OF CONFETTI AND FIREWORKS.
MADDEN SURVIVAL 1: EVEN THE ELDER GOD HIMSELF IS POWERLESS BEFORE THIS CHEERFUL ONSLAUGHT. HE LETS LOOSE ONE LAST INCOMPREHENSIBLE SCREAM BEFORE TEARING APART IN A CLOUD OF SMOKE AND GORE. ONCE A LEGENDARY FOOTBALL BROADCASTER, ALL THAT REMAINS IS THE TORMENTED SOUL THAT SUMMONED HIM. ATHATH HAS REGAINED HIS PHYSICAL BODY, COMPLETE WITH FOOTBALL UNIFORM.
SHOOT THE BOMB AT THAT CRAZY CAR-SUMMONING MANIAC!
Oh, and RUN AWAAAAAYYYYY!
CAR SUMMONING MANIAC GONE. YOU RUN FURTHER INTO SIDELINES ANYWAY.
DAMN IT. WAIT FOR NEXT PLAY TO START, THEN BACK UP AND FIRE ROCKETS AT BLUE TEAM.
Start ramming people.
YOU LOAD ROCKETS WHILE WAITING FOR GAME TO RESTART.
YOU SEE AMBULANCE PREPARE TO CHARGE YOU TEAM. INSTINCTS TELL YOU TO STOP THE CART BEFORE YOU ALL EXPLODE.
6v1: FIRE ALL FOUR ROCKETS DIRECTLY AT WINDSHIELD AND ENGINE. ENTIRE MACHINE DETONATES DUE TO CHAIN REACTION. SECHERAL DIES IN EXPLOSION. AMBULANCE COMPLETELY UNSALVAGABLE.
KING ZULTAN SURVIVAL: 4-5
SECHERAL SURVIVAL: 4-5+1
NEW MEDICAL TEAM SHOW UP AT STADIUM. THEY WILL DRIVE ONTO THE FIELD AT THE START OF NEXT TURN.
PSYSTRIKE HARDER
JOHN MADDEN ALREADY DESTROYED. DECIDE ATTACK TURDUCKEN INSTEAD.
5v5: TURDUCKEN SHRIEK! REALITY RIP APART MOMENTARILY. ENTIRE ATTACK REDIRECTED INTO ABYSS. ACTUALLY KIND OF IMPRESSIVE.
AS AN ATTEMPT TO GAIN FAVOR WITH HIM, LET JOHN MADDEN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS FOR NOW/DON'T SUGGEST ANYTHING TO HIM.
ATHATH REGAIN CONCIOUSNESS AND STAND UP. DIDN'T PREPARE ANYTHING FOR MADDEN DESTRUCTION. HE ONLY THINK ONE THING.
WHAT WOULD MADDEN DO? 4: HE LOOK AROUND FIELD, AND SEE MADDEN'S TABLET. PICK IT UP, TRY TO FIGURE OUT COURSE OF ACTION.
RANDOM TARGET: 3v6
ATHATH SLASH AT POSITION OF STORMTROOPER ON MAP, BUT HE ALREADY RUNNING AND AVOID TORN REALITY. DAMN.
Team: Red
Role: F-16 Pilot
First Action: Fly over the field at Mach 2 to show those vuvuzelas how it's done. Leave a red contrail to cheer the team and show them that they now have air support.
2: NOPE.
Pull out some penalty cards and charge the Madden Truck, IF REACH TRUCK AND NOT DEAD SLAP PENALTY CARD ONTO TRUCK TO BANISH IT FROM WHENCE IT CAME Like those demon banishing papers from japan.
ALSO HAND SOME TO TEMPLAR FRIEND, IF NOT DEAD
MADDEN TRUCK ALREADY DESTROYED.
1: *GASP* YOUR PENALTY CARDS ARE GONE!
6: INSTEAD YOU TRY TO AID TEMPLAR ALLY. FORTUNATELY YOU HAVE FIRST AID KIT.
5: RUDIMENTARY FIRST AID VERY EFFECTIVE. HIS LEG LOOK A LOT BETTER NOW.
RED TEAM:
Mallos:
ROLE: QUARTERBACK
HEALTH: BODY A BIT SORE. SLIGHTLY EXHAUSTED.
STATUS: SITUATION NORMAL. HAS TWO CANS OF RED BULL.
crazyabe:
ROLE: TACKLE
HEALTH: RIGHT ARM MODERATELY GOUGED.
STATUS: STARING INTO SPACE. HAS TWO CANS OF RED BULL.
FallacyOfUrist:
ROLE: MASCOT: RED BULL
HEALTH: HEAD HURTS.
STATUS: DID JOB AS MASCOT.
Dustan Hache:
ROLE: SOLDIER
HEALTH: UNHARMED
STATUS: EMPTY ROCKET LAUNCHER. EMPTY SHOTGUN. MODERATE RESERVE AMMO. HAS TWO CANS OF RED BULL.
BLUE TEAM:
ziizo:
ROLE: SAFETY
HEALTH: BEING CALCIFIED. 1 TURNS UNTIL STATUE. -2 TO ALL PHYSICAL ACTIONS.
STATUS: VERY NOT FINE.
Aigre Excalibur:
ROLE: Cornerback
HEALTH: MAJOR CONCUSSION. BRUISED UPPER BODY. WOUNDED LEGS. UNCONCIOUS.
STATUS: STARTING TO RECOVER.
Failbird105:
ROLE: SKAVEN STORMVERMIN
HEAKTH: ARMS SLICED OPEN. ARMOR SOMEWHAT DAMAGED.
STATUS: FOUND SKAVEN WARREN DEEP UNDER FIELD. DOING NOTHING.
BOON FROM CHEER GODS LASTS UNTIL NEXT TURN ENDS.
OTHER/FREE AGENTS:
ATHATH:
TEAM:
GREENROLE: GOALIE
HEALTH: NORMAL PHYSICAL FORM.
STATUS: ACOLYTE OF FOOTBALL. HAS TELESTRATOR AND TABLET.
Paxiecrunchle:
TEAM: TEMPLARS
ROLE: DRUNK REFEREE
HEALTH: BLEEDING FROM MOUTH.
STATUS: HELPING TEAM.
CrocAndBearLover:
TEAM: TEMPLARS
ROLE: COMMANDER OF NOBLE KNIGHTS OF TEMPLAR ORDER, CHARLES III LE CHAMPAGNE
HEALTH: RIGHT LEG SOMEWHAT EXPLODED. MOSTLY PATCHED UP.
STATUS: -1 TO PRAYER ON TURN 13.
Egan_BW:
TEAM:
PINKROLE: KIRBY
HEALTH: MODERATELY DAMAGED.
STATUS: NO POWER.
Madman198237:
TEAM: 501ST LEGION
ROLE: STORMTROOPER SNIPER
HEALTH: MODERATE EAR DAMAGE
STATUS: RUNNING AWAY.
scourge728
TEAM: DESTROYERS
ROLE: MEWTWO
HEALTH: 100%
STATUS: PSYSTRIKING.
NPCS:
Man from Crowd:
ROLE: BLUE CHEERLEADER
HEALTH: UNHARMED.
STATUS: MOURNING TRAINER'S DEATH.
BOSSES:
UNDEAD TURDUCKEN DEMON:
ROLE: ALLY OF ELDER GOD MADDEN/ATHATH. TECHNICALLY GREEN TEAM MASCOT.
HEALTH: SLIGHT BLUNT DAMAGE TO HEAD.
STATUS: IT IS TERRIFYING.
GENERAL INFORMATION:
SCORES:
RED: 0
BLUE: 3
PURPLE: 0
GREEN: 0
PINK: 0
TEMPLARS: 0
501ST LEGION: 0
NOT SURE: 0
BALL STATUS: AT 50 YARDS LINE. ON GROUND.
RTD STADIUM:
BRZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!PROBABLY POINTLESS STATS:
SEATS OCCUPIED: 20,000/100,000
VIEWERS WATCHING LIVE: 26,000 PEOPLE.
SOCIAL MEDIA FOLLOWERS: 40,000 PEOPLE.
FOOTBALL TIP OF THE TURN: USUALLY THE TEAM THAT SCORES THE MOST POINTS WINS THE GAME!
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Topic: A GAME OF FOOTBALL: CANCELLED (Read 28601 times)