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Author Topic: Roll to Reaper  (Read 15108 times)

dustywayfarer

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Re: Roll to Reaper
« Reply #105 on: November 13, 2017, 05:13:47 pm »

Build and install a REAP-O-MATIC 8000 to help you reap the dead souls that you've basically just ignored for the past 10 turns.
1+3=4
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Sl4cker

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Re: Roll to Reaper
« Reply #106 on: November 14, 2017, 08:20:07 am »

Build and install a REAP-O-MATIC 8000 to help you reap the dead souls that you've basically just ignored for the past 10 turns.
[6]

You are currently in the depths of a temperate forest, employing the reluctant help of a horrific mindflayer demon in order to track down a bone giant which you mistakenly created. You are doing this in order to finally put a stop to all of the troubles it has been causing you, reaching a climax when it smashed directly to Earth, horrifying all involved.

Time to create another aide to your job! Worked so well last time, didn't it?

You set to work immediately, foraging for sticks, stones and grasses with which to build your ingenious machine. No human would be able to create this, but you are able to because fuck dude, you're Death. The mindflayer demon (lets call him Flayguy) takes a look at you, reads your mind, and promptly facepalms his squid head. You ignore this rampant showing of disrespect as you start weaving a basket like some sort of muscular, primitive technomancer. Except you have no muscles because you are a skeleton.

Thirty minutes pass. The REAP-O-MATIC 8000, as nondescript as it is, looks nondescriptly magnificent. The mindflayer demon is pretending to file his nails in boredom, having given up and pointing you towards the horror, sounds of gunfire and explosions, and more horror. You do your thing and bring it to undeath - this would not have worked if the leaves and sticks it was made out of were still alive, but thankfully your touch kills all in its wake. It whirs to activeness, spinning around with a terrible creaking of sticks and rubbing of sharpened stones. It sets to work, intent on destroying all life.

You shuffle slightly uncomfortably as it churns. This isn't what you expected - flies begin dropping out of the air around it as the grass wilts, rots, and disappears entirely, the dirt it was on growing gray and sterile, before being crushed into sand altogether. You seem to be immune to its effects, but the mindflayer has barely enough time to get up before the circle of complete death reaches him and turns the squid-demon into a squid-corpse. And then a squid-skeleton and he's gone. Shit. You think you needed him for something but you can't remember what anymore.

In the distance, you spot a small dot on the horizon that quickly grows into a bloody, leathery piece of parchment that flies towards you. Ah, the fliers are here (you knew the GM didn't forget about them!). They get within a few meters from you before they fall out of the air onto the rapidly growing death-circle and eroding. Whoops. You don't have time to ponder this as a bloody pentagram appears in front of you, flames of red popping out of thin air to rest on the sterile sand. More of these circles appear, and out of them pop bright young men and women (and some less bright men and women), who promptly collapse onto the ground and are converted into more sandy dust, along with the drying up blood and candle flame. You see their souls, bright blue and vibrant, wink out of their bodies and explode in a lightshow in front of you.

This plan may have been badly timed.

UH: YEAH
YOU: CAN PROBABLY GUESS
HOW THE GRIM REAPER IS FEELING: KINDA PERTURBED IF IT WASN'T OBVIOUS
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Quote from: Empiricist
I mean no one wants dead whales and abortion clinics juxtaposed with each other, but it's just something that happens! Like false vacuum decay!
carrot cakeu

Maximum Spin

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Re: Roll to Reaper
« Reply #107 on: November 14, 2017, 08:30:00 am »

Technically this is helping. Or it will be if it goes on long enough. Proceed toward the bone giant while allowing the REAP-O-MATIC to do its thing.
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Madman198237

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Re: Roll to Reaper
« Reply #108 on: November 14, 2017, 09:22:48 am »

Destroy the Reap-O-Matic, it's useless and it always will be.
This is why random internet fools should NEVER become the Grim Reaper. It just causes problems.
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Doomblade187

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Re: Roll to Reaper
« Reply #109 on: November 14, 2017, 01:47:39 pm »

Destroy the Reap-O-Matic, it's useless and it always will be.
This is why random internet fools should NEVER become the Grim Reaper. It just causes problems.
+1, take the surviving interns with you to kill the bone giant.

In its defense, it does its job very well.

Also, sig'd.
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In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.
One mustn't stare into the pathos, lest one become Pathos.

bloop_bleep

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Re: Roll to Reaper
« Reply #110 on: November 14, 2017, 01:48:19 pm »

Fuck it. This game is cursed.
Burn it all down. All of it. It has no meaning anymore.

Destroy the Reap-O-Matic, it's useless and it always will be.
This is why random internet fools should NEVER become the Grim Reaper. It just causes problems.
-1 to this. It can still be salvaged!

Attempt to use your DEATHSKILLZ to reprogram the REAP-O-MATIC to reap the souls that are SUPPOSED to be reaped, not go around killing whatever it finds.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2017, 01:55:36 pm by bloop_bleep »
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King Zultan

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Re: Roll to Reaper
« Reply #111 on: November 15, 2017, 06:10:33 am »

Just go kill the giant and mess with the REAP-O-MATIC later.
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but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
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Doomblade187

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Re: Roll to Reaper
« Reply #112 on: November 15, 2017, 08:33:55 am »

Just go kill the giant and mess with the REAP-O-MATIC later.
But we need the interns!
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In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.
One mustn't stare into the pathos, lest one become Pathos.

Sl4cker

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Re: Roll to Reaper
« Reply #113 on: November 15, 2017, 10:25:35 am »

The interns are dead. If any still survived it's because they haven't used the pentagram and met a faceful of the deathfield yet.
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Quote from: Empiricist
I mean no one wants dead whales and abortion clinics juxtaposed with each other, but it's just something that happens! Like false vacuum decay!
carrot cakeu

Doomblade187

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Re: Roll to Reaper
« Reply #114 on: November 15, 2017, 10:33:34 am »

The interns are dead. If any still survived it's because they haven't used the pentagram and met a faceful of the deathfield yet.
Damnit.

Fuck it. This game is cursed.
Burn it all down. All of it. It has no meaning anymore.

Destroy the Reap-O-Matic, it's useless and it always will be.
This is why random internet fools should NEVER become the Grim Reaper. It just causes problems.
-1 to this. It can still be salvaged!

Attempt to use your DEATHSKILLZ to reprogram the REAP-O-MATIC to reap the souls that are SUPPOSED to be reaped, not go around killing whatever it finds.
Changing my vote, +1!
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In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.
One mustn't stare into the pathos, lest one become Pathos.

Egan_BW

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Re: Roll to Reaper
« Reply #115 on: November 15, 2017, 10:35:36 am »

Hell no. Destroy this abomination. And fire everyone who thought this was a good idea.
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NJW2000

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Re: Roll to Reaper
« Reply #116 on: November 15, 2017, 11:09:48 am »

Fuck it. This game is cursed.
Burn it all down. All of it. It has no meaning anymore.

Destroy the Reap-O-Matic, it's useless and it always will be.
This is why random internet fools should NEVER become the Grim Reaper. It just causes problems.
-1 to this. It can still be salvaged!

Attempt to use your DEATHSKILLZ to reprogram the REAP-O-MATIC to reap the souls that are SUPPOSED to be reaped, not go around killing whatever it finds.
If necessary, through machine learning.
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One wheel short of a wagon

Egan_BW

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Re: Roll to Reaper
« Reply #117 on: November 15, 2017, 11:11:01 am »

Dammit stop having terrible ideas.
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Madman198237

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Re: Roll to Reaper
« Reply #118 on: November 15, 2017, 11:20:15 am »

Dammit stop having terrible ideas.
+inf
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Sl4cker

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Re: Roll to Reaper
« Reply #119 on: November 15, 2017, 07:02:13 pm »

ROLLING BETWEEN DESTROY (1) AND REPROGRAM (2)
[2]
[5]

You, quite simply and efficiently, bop the thing with the flat of your scythe, hoping that it'll stop freaking the fuck out. It stumbles but churns still, so you backhand it with your Pimpslap of Death. "No," you tell the REAP-O-MATIC 8000, "Bad puppy. Sit. Stay. Make up for what you've done." You move your hands to your hip like a scornful owner.

To your credit, the thing's incessant whirring stops, slows and deepens, as if whimpering before your form. You see the sphere of sandy death stop, recede a bit, and stop altogether. A fifty meter radius around you is now sterile, finely ground desert, but you managed to stop it from consuming the world. This is probably a good thing.

You don't actually know about programming - you're mostly about the whole Death business, so the most of what you've done right now is kill the thing's power. Your own power, mind you, is needlessly inconsistent, which you may have to rectify soon because you'll need a whole lot of it to deal with the paperwork that's going to come out of this entire, shitty day. Whatever. Maybe you should get to work on that Giant, suddenly remembering the reason you took a trip to Earth in the first place. Or you could continue fiddling with the REAP-O-MATIC, since you're here and it's here.

STATUS REPORT UPDATES: BEING COMPRESSED INTO A SINGLE STATUS REPORT NOW, YAAAY
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Quote from: Empiricist
I mean no one wants dead whales and abortion clinics juxtaposed with each other, but it's just something that happens! Like false vacuum decay!
carrot cakeu
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