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[Sl4cker]

Send a few fliers to earth, stating that you are looking for mostly unpayed interns who will receive valuable work experience

+1 to this.

[5]

You groan in exasperating, tapping the butt of your scythe into the hellsoil. You turn around with an indignant huff, leaving behind you the skeletal Giant who at this point looks more like a block of bone matter than a Giant. What a waste of your time. DAAADDYYY, comes the beast's deep rumble, leanin towards you and collapsing further in the process. You're not listening, already walking back into your office.

Arriving at your place of safety, you sigh the sort of sigh usually reserved for the last gasping breath of freezing mortals accepting of their own chilly demise as you seat yourself once again. Feels good to relax after a six hour flight on a bleeding demon. But relaxing won't get work done, and you're nothing if not diligent (for now, at least). You lean forward on your desk, bony arms folded in front of you. Opening up a drawer, you take out several sheets of paper, a quill, and your skull-designed bloodwell. (A bloodwell is like an inkwell that uses a more common resource in the depths of Hell.) At once, you set to work, drawing (literally) on the powers of calligraphy in order to craft the perfect flyer.

INTERNS WANTED

ELIGIBILITY CRITERIA
- Must not have strong aversion to blood, viscera, sickness, suicide, murder, sappy romantic comedies, etc.
- Must have combat experience up to 6th dan in karate or equivalent martial art/some form of ability with dagger, sword, rapier, scythe or other piercing/cutting weapon OR handgun
- Must be willing to kill a bitch
HOW TO APPLY
- Craft a demonic pentagram with your own blood (can be any size), surround points with candles and sell soul to Death (NOT Satan)
NOTES
- Yes you're going to have to murder zombies
- Yes I am Death
- If you don't believe I am Death then I dare you craft the circle anyway so I can slap your shit

You nod vigorously, clicking your fingers to duplicate the scroll several times before giving all the copies sentience. The unholy abominations screech with primal fury, flying upwards into a newly created portal to Earth you made, fully intent on advertising themselves to willing mortals. This has been the best plan you've ever made.

DEATH: COMING
FLIERS: FLYING
GIANT: CRYING

[Madman198237]

Mortals aren't good enough, unleash the power of Death and convert your giant into a usable Death-sized humanoid.

This way, we don't have to walk to go get those pesky mortals who can't get collected by regular mortals.

[NJW2000]

Create the perfect introductory brochure and instructionary leaflet for the new interns. Send out even more fliers.

[Doomblade187]

Create the perfect introductory brochure and instructionary leaflet for the new interns. Send out even more fliers.

+1

[King Zultan]

Split the giant in to multiple human sized creatures, so we can send out a small army of them.

[Egan_BW]

Ugh, how tiring. After all that complicated planning stuff, it's time to take a short  break. And being Death, what we do to relax is stabbin' folks. Head to Earth and engage in some relaxing bloodshed. It won't actually help, but it should relive some stress.

[scourge728]

Ugh, how tiring. After all that complicated planning stuff, it's time to take a short  break. And being Death, what we do to relax is stabbin' folks. Head to Earth and engage in some relaxing bloodshed. It won't actually help, but it should relive some stress.

Wouldn't that make the problem worse?
......+1

[Egan_BW]

No silly, we'll be stabbing the humans that are already dead. Probably. Maybe. It doesn't actually matter, because it'll be a drop in a quite large bucket either way.

[scourge728]

We need to go murder living people

[Egan_BW]

Why?

I mean, I'm fine with it, but it might upset the boss if we made a habit of it.

[Xantalos]

Is someone with a bullethole in the skull an expert in brain surgery? ;P

*glances at Fallout New Vegas*

Just shave the excess weight off the giant's legs. Like making a sculpture! Sorta.

[Sl4cker]

> Xantalos
o shit
my skeleton memes have attracted an elder god

[Maximum Spin]

Split the giant in to multiple human sized creatures, so we can send out a small army of them.

+1

[Madman198237]

Split the giant in to multiple human sized creatures, so we can send out a small army of them.

+1

+1

[Sl4cker]

Split the giant in to multiple human sized creatures, so we can send out a small army of them.

+1

+1

[1] ((xantalos, could you come over and pick your dice back up :U))

With a creaky groan, you lean back in your chair. You might as well deal with the Giant while waiting for the fliers to wrap their unholy selves around the minds and faces of impressionable young interns-to-be. You walk back towards the hole where the Giant was, finding its managed to move a total of two feet since you last saw it. Grinding your teeth dismissively, you bring out your scythe once again and swing at the Giant. But your swing misses - not only that, but in your carelessness you rip open another portal to earth! Green fire yawns open into a two-dimensional hole, sucking in the heavy Giant before you can even react, and before the portal knits closed you swear you can hear the crushing of metal and plastic behind the puff of flame.

With the Giant as it is, it has about as much worth as a particularly large snail. With no ability to move or to attack, anyone who happens to come across it will undoubtedly have to have their memories wiped. You kick the hellsoil in frustration at the increased compounding of work you have to do now.

ANGER: A N G E R Y
FLIERS: PROBABLY ABOUT TO REPORT BACK TO YOU NEXT TURN
HUMANS: OH I DUNNO, MAYBE YOU SHOULD CHECK THEM OUT D:<