Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Rose]

Translate the first note!

[VoidSlayer]

We already threw the first note back.

I am guessing the person in the other room is the one who made the ticket.

Maybe they can explain if they need normal internet explorer functionality restored rather then hieronet.

[wierd]

They clearly have a desk in that room over there. The door is big enough to pass a normal laptop through. Put one that has a SIM card slot, with a freedompop sim in it. Make it abundantly clear that tux-daemon will eat him if he goes over the 1gb monthly limit.

  (A cheap ass system from walmart will be more than adequate)

[Paxiecrunchle]

Reply that we are the new owners of the....whatver that thing written blood was, and that the previous owners forgot to leave us instructions on anything.

[Eschar]

Reply that we are the new owners of the....whatver that thing written blood was, and that the previous owners forgot to leave us instructions on anything.

This is the REAL reason they tell you to put comments in your code: just in case future programmers have to debug the focus of eldritch activity you crufted together.

[Gatleos]

Reply that we are the new owners of the....whatver that thing written blood was, and that the previous owners forgot to leave us instructions on anything.

I am guessing the person in the other room is the one who made the ticket.

Maybe they can explain if they need normal internet explorer functionality restored rather then hieronet.

They clearly have a desk in that room over there. The door is big enough to pass a normal laptop through. Put one that has a SIM card slot, with a freedompop sim in it. Make it abundantly clear that tux-daemon will eat him if he goes over the 1gb monthly limit.

  (A cheap ass system from walmart will be more than adequate)

A thought occurs to you: maybe whatever this thing is, it left the support ticket? You decide to get its attention and look for some answers.

Your handwriting with this dry erase is terrible.

Yadda yadda it throws a message back.

Oh?

Guess that scanner program also comes with chat software, with autotranslate. This should be much faster.

*** Now talking in #hiero
*** Topic is 'Experiencing Hieronet connection problems? talk to Qalzsx'wa The Engorged about any issues.'
*** Set by dag0nforceXx on Thu Apr 01 11:22:40
<chuckW> Uh... hello?
<@dag0nforce> hello
<chuckW> Is that you?
<@dag0nforce> on the other side of the spatial rip yes
<chuckW> So you don't want to eat me then.
<@dag0nforce> i do
<chuckW> Please... elaborate?
<@dag0nforce> it is true i wish to eat you but i cannot reach you
<chuckW> Okay cool. So did you file a support ticket, or...?
<@dag0nforce> i did not
<chuckW> Do you know who did? It was a ticket about internet access. The machine on... this end... can't connect to the internet.
<@dag0nforce> usually i get complaints about hieronet access on your side
<@dag0nforce> hold on a moment while i check
<@dag0nforce> may i have the current date
<chuckW> The date? October 19th, now.
<@dag0nforce> and the year
<chuckW> You don't know what year it is?
<@dag0nforce> connections between R'LYEH and normal space are asynchronous
<chuckW> Okay, that makes sense I guess. It's 2017.
<@dag0nforce> ...
<@dag0nforce> this is a problem
<chuckW> What? Why is 2017 a problem?
<@dag0nforce> you are the only human to contact after 2000
<chuckW> May I ask why?
<@dag0nforce> the world ended in 2000

Spoiler: Documents (click to show/hide)

Unneeded documents are now being deleted.

Code: (email) [Select]

From: Michael Kisielewicz
Date: Friday, April 9, 1999 4:22 PM
To: Qalzsx'wa The Engorged
Subject: Project Status

Hail Qalzsx'wa,

Just shootin' ya an electronic mail, wondering how the whole Y2K project's coming along on your end. It's been a little difficult getting these messages across without the Hieronet router set up, so I was wondering if you heard back from the support team at Hells-Deathwell. See, we have to sacrifice a goat in the conference room every time we send one of these emails without a persistent Outer Realm connection, and the whole logistical side of shipping live animals to the office is getting a little tough to manage. So if you could get in touch with them that would be greeaat.

Thanks a bunch,
Michael


Code: (README.txt) [Select]

Hey there, just a couple of notes before you dig in to the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis.
First, certain parts of the .pdf file seem to shift around at random. This is normal,
and there isn't anything I can do about it. Sorry.

Second, most of the pages in this book WILL cause you to go insane if you look at
them long enough. I do NOT recommend looking at pages unless you know they
are safe. I don't know of many pages that are safe to look at, but you can start with
pages 33, 98, and 422.

Finally, some of the pages in here seem to refer to Hieronet URLs. If you see the
Hieronet icon in the corner, that's what it is. Have fun!

-Steve


Code: (Aura Monitor README) [Select]

aura.exe detects your desktop background image's aura, and features an easy-to-read GUI!


Code: (linniks.es) [Select]

import eldertongue : summon, banish;

void main() {
Daemon linniks = summon("abberation/tux");
linniks.initHunger();

Entity[] entities = getLocalEntities();
foreach(ent : entities) {
linniks.provokeMadness(ent);
}
linniks.addDirective("gather", "sigils");
linniks.addDirectives("consume", "system32");
return 0;
}


Spoiler: Programs (click to show/hide)

Sigil Tablet
Scryglass of X'tpylix
Aura Monitor
Hieronet Explorer
Deep One Translator

Spoiler: Pages (click to show/hide)

Signature Page
Bowie's Message
?
Deep Ones 1
Deep Ones 2
Deep Ones 3
Alphabet Soup

Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)

Floppy disk (XYZZY)


Floppy disk ()


Floppy disk (backup)


Red dry erase marker


Win98 Phone


Floppy (blank)


Floppy USB adapter


Selfie Stick

[Paxiecrunchle]

WHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.  ZIS TWIST IS CRAY CRAY, demand the being explain how that could possibly be true when we have archives that we have seen of websites being used in 2002, two years after the world allegedly ended.

[wierd]

Computers with improperly configured realtime clocks recording absurd timestamps, obviously.

Alternatively, tangent timelines with low compatibility with mainline universe getting spuriously connected. (Ours could be such a universe-- one where the end of the world did not happen, because reasons, where 99.999999% of universes ended on that date.) This could be a support problem on their end, because Eldrich corporate does not want to support tangent universes with a low profit margin.

[Rose]

Tell him that if the world did indeed end, it clearly started again.

[wierd]

No, just say the Y2K bug was severely overhyped, and that there was NOT a civilization ending catastrophe, since the bug had been fixed in basically every major computer system before that date. Current dangerous computing epoch bug is the 32bit integer epoch bug, which will strike in 2038. Current progress toward 64bit integer time adoption however suggests that this event will also likewise be overhyped, and is nothing to concern oneself with.

Then ask politely why it is important that this antique computer system be capable of accessing the mortal internet.


Alternatively, this is an SSL certificate problem, since SSL uses synchronous timestamps to assure there is no man in the middle. In our universe, SSL was implemented with 32bit time_t, (the kind affected by the bug previously cited).
http://www.modssl.org/docs/2.8/ssl_faq.html#ToC6

Given that the rift suffers from time asynchrony, it could be that with the recent trend to make everything use HTTPS by default (which uses SSL to assure a secure channel), the system could no longer communicate with the target computer on the internet (because it switched to HTTPS, and now the asynchronous time issue happens), resulting in the error.

This does not explain the strange seal placed over the network adapter configuration dialog though.

• Ask the DagonForce representative if the chat client supports file transfers, and if so, what image formats his system supports, as we have some questions that will require him to see things from our end.  Failing that, we can still do the laptop thing with a really long USB cable, and a webcam. (you really CAN buy 25ft USB cables. Presumably we can extend items through the rift, using the selfie stick.)

[VoidSlayer]

No, I would... rather not look at the cultist-whatever and I do not think we need to satisfy our curiosity to fix this machine.

We should ask him if he has any good anti-daemon programs because *some idiot* downloaded a few wrong exe files.

We need to check if all the proper system files are on this computer, maybe he could send us a CD image of a windows recovery or install disk and we could use it to look at the registry hives and restore any missing files?

[Olith McHuman]

Well, we still have that backup disk. Might try to restore any missing system files that way.

[wierd]

Be sure to copy any and all special things we obtained first onto a blank diskette. Our backup disk comes from before getting several items.

[VoidSlayer]

Just check if all the files are there and the registry is functioning correctly, no need to reinstall the os now.

[Dermonster]

[X] Pensively wonder if that means in a literal explodey way or if he means why everything seems to be slowly going to shit.