"Portable Document Format Mr Peepers. The format was created by horrible human engineers (Like Warnock) at Adobe Inc in the early 90s, and later the 1.0 specification for PDF was released in 1991. It is of course, based on prior work from Adobe in digital typesetting and document markup, specifically their PostScript and font format specifications. It allows a document to be read and edited anywhere, and even reproduced in physical form locally at any location with a suitable computer and printer. Now, if you keep complaining about the font, I will EMBED the font into the PDF for all eternity, you dig? And if you KEEP complaining after that, I will use the Comic Papyrus font, and trust me, you don't want that. So let's just be friends, OK?"
A copy? Of me? That's impossible. No man could make a copy of The Necronomicon, he would go mad before he could transcribe a single page! Hundreds have tried.Well, looks like someone had a computer do it for them.
A computer. What is that, some kind of slave?Sort of. I think you were copied around the year 2000, I'm pretty sure you should know what a computer is if you were paying attention. What's the last thing you remember?
War. Lots of war. Those Watching From Between and Behind were pleased by all of the suffering.World wars, maybe?
That sounds about right? I don't know.That was over 70 years ago. I think you have some catching up to do.
DO THE RITUAL by changing desktops in the correct order.
You can't! You've only managed to find a suitable candidate for the Albedo stage of the alchemical formula. The other three remain unsolved. It's probably not
too urgent that you figure this out now, but...
Okay, maybe it's a tiny bit urgent. The Tux Daemon seems to have completely seeped into the registry.
What's happening?Uh, my computer isn't doing very well right now. A daemon is eating away at it from the inside.
Sounds like you need a purifying spell.Yeah, I'm working on it.
And open the Sigil Tablet so we can see what it is used for.
Well, our eldritch irc buddy
informed us earlier that a Sigil Tablet can be used to absorb and store various types of magical sigil. The one you've got here seems to already have a sigil stored in it, however! Looks like the
same sigil that was on your internet settings screen, which means it's a
sealing sigil! Maybe you could use this thing to your advantage somehow. You'd ask Mr. Bureaucrat about it through irc, but he doesn't seem to have returned yet.
I'm guessing the first character is ♐ because Wallace's symbol was a bow, and the third and fourth ☾(I guess we're in the southern hemisphere? That should be a waning moon in the northern hemisphere, but there isn't any ☽) and ♂, but I'm not sure what the sign of his death is, since he was hanged, drawn, and quartered, and none of the characters obviously evoke that.
Those seem plausible, you think. Maybe the "sign of his death" doesn't represent the nature of the death, but something else about it? These symbols have multiple meanings within their respective symbologies, you know.
So, uh, scroll way up on the signatures page to see if William Wallace ever had the Necronomicon?
Right. You actually hadn't thought of any owners before the ones listed. Let's take a look at the top of the signature page again.
...Nope. Looks like Crowley was the first one to write his name in here. Unless... maybe Steve Jobs didn't scan an earlier page, with more signatures? You're not sure why he would--
THERE HE IS.What?
It was him! He did this to me, I remember now!You're being vague, who are you talking about?
This copying process, turning me into a "PDF" as you called it, must have disoriented me. But I remember now.
I remember 1945, and that FAT IDIOT BREAKING THE BLOOD RITUAL.Who, the scribbled out name there?
Yes. Of all the ignorant mortals to whom I have been a possession, this one was the most arrogant, and he ruined the ritual. I was meant to be passed on to another, a protégé of sorts to my previous owner. But THIS ONE interrupted it, writing his own name in place of the next rightful owner!Was that a problem?
The ceremony confers the Curse of Perception upon the subject, allowing them to hear my dark instructions. In interrupting the ceremony, he broke the chain, silencing my only method of influence, and deafening me to the outside world. I was mute from that day forward.Until now, you mean.
...Until now.
Unneeded documents are now being deleted.
From: Michael Kisielewicz
Date: Friday, April 9, 1999 4:22 PM
To: Qalzsx'wa The Engorged
Subject: Project Status
Hail Qalzsx'wa,
Just shootin' ya an electronic mail, wondering how the whole Y2K project's coming along on your end. It's been a little difficult getting these messages across without the Hieronet router set up, so I was wondering if you heard back from the support team at Hells-Deathwell. See, we have to sacrifice a goat in the conference room every time we send one of these emails without a persistent Outer Realm connection, and the whole logistical side of shipping live animals to the office is getting a little tough to manage. So if you could get in touch with them that would be greeaat.
Thanks a bunch,
Michael
From: Sam Long
Date: Thursday, October 2, 1997 10:23 AM
To: Qalzsx'wa The Engorged
Subject: Forbidden Keys?
Hey Qalz,
This is Sam from IT, over here at Baldr. We have been, uh...
installing some of the software you provided us with, and we
would like to request a couple of user's manuals, if you have
any idea what those are. This software is a little more "high
stakes" than what we're used to, if you know what I mean. While
you're at it, could we have some explanation of the "FORBIDDEN
KEYPAD" on the underside of these keyboards you sent? I don't
know what any of these symbols mean, and it looks dangerous.
That's all,
Sam
Hey there, just a couple of notes before you dig in to the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis.
First, certain parts of the .pdf file seem to shift around at random. This is normal,
and there isn't anything I can do about it. Sorry.
Second, most of the pages in this book WILL cause you to go insane if you look at
them long enough. I do NOT recommend looking at pages unless you know they
are safe. I don't know of many pages that are safe to look at, but you can start with
pages 33, 98, and 422.
Finally, some of the pages in here seem to refer to Hieronet URLs. If you see the
Hieronet icon in the corner, that's what it is. Have fun!
-Steve
aura.exe detects your desktop background image's aura, and features an easy-to-read GUI!
import eldertongue : summon, banish;
void main() {
Daemon linniks = summon("abberation/tux");
linniks.initHunger();
Entity[] entities = getLocalEntities();
foreach(ent : entities) {
linniks.provokeMadness(ent);
}
linniks.addDirective("gather", "sigils");
linniks.addDirectives("consume", "system32");
return 0;
}
Sigil Tablet
Scryglass of X'tpylix
Aura Monitor
Hieronet Explorer
Deep One Translator
Floppy disk (XYZZY)
Floppy disk (
)
Floppy disk (backup)
Red dry erase marker
Win98 Phone
Floppy (blank)
Floppy USB adapter
Selfie Stick
Forbidden Keypad