Out in a field next to a fledgling fortress a koopa whispers to a passing ninji angrily from a bush.
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"
Pssst" Mottled Petrel tries to get the passing ninji's attention, the ninji stops and looks at the bush. "
Yeah you," Mottled Petrel continues to whisper louder than he probably should "
you're now the broker. Go trade with the caravan, if they ask where I am tell them I'm not here." "All right, but I know nothing of trading so I can't promise we'll get a good deal." the ninji said as he walked off to get supplies to bring to the trading depot. Gwolfski walks by the bush next "
Pssst, Gwolfski, you're now a brewer, go build the still." Gwolfski turns with a look of irritation "Are you serious, you're making me a brewer because you can't be bothered to go build the still yourself?" Mottled Petrel thought about that for a moment "
Yes". "Fine, I'll do it once I finish these mugs" Gwolfski said, not looking forward to doing Mottled Petrel's work for him.
The ninji brought about ten spiky wooden balls to the trade depot, wondering if he'd be able to buy anything of value with them. Mottled Petrel was still in the bush. Finally, the oracle arrived at the fortress's front yard and bellowed "
WHERE IS HE!". Mottled Petrel curled himself into a tighter ball while the ninji walked up to the oracle "I am the broker, if that's who you're asking for.". The oracle continued to scan the bushes in front of him, for he forgot which bush specifically Mottled Petrel was hiding in "I'm looking for a certain 'Mottled Petrel', have you seen him" "Yeah, he told me to tell you that he wasn't here. He's in that bush over there if you need him." said the ninji, selling Mottled Petrel out by pointing out his hiding location. '
God damn it' thought Mottled Petrel, still not moving in hopes that the oracle wouldn't come check the bush.
But he did, the oracle stomped over and pulled Mottled Petrel out of the bush. "You have directly gone against a laundry list of orders" the oracle began after standing Mottled Petrel up "Not only that, but you have gotten a dozen, if not more, innocents killed during your rampant run through the wilderness. I should send you to the guillotine for this, but I won't because I have something special for you. You... you...' Mottled Petrel cowered and prepared for a slap or something as the oracle fumbled for the right word "you,
strategical genius!" the oracle said as he fell to his knees and grabbed Mottled Petrel by the legs. "Just your actions so far have thrown our enemies into a turmoil because they have no idea what happened. They've started blaming each other without even thinking to blame us. In addition, this location is within easy striking range of at least twenty different civilizations, you can distract them and whittle down their forces while the main koopa forces prepare for an assault.".
The oracle got up and dusted off his knees "We will allow you to continue your operations here, sending you supplies and migrants so that you will one day be strong enough to send out your own raiding parties to confuse the hell out of the surrounding empires. If you are successful, you will be rewarded greatly!" 'Well, this is going better than I thought it would. I don't even know how we got here and look at me, basically getting a promotion.'. Mottled Petrel went along with it, smiling and shaking the oracle's hand "I'm glad to see the plan is coming along well. Sorry I couldn't tell you about it before, but the element of surprise was crucial to its success." the oracle looked like he understood "Don't worry about it, I understand. If any more attention had been drawn to it chances are it wouldn't have worked so well. I just would have liked it if you had left a note describing your location, because we've been treading the wilderness for months looking for you. But we'll worry about that later, lets trade and I'll tell you the news of the world!".
For Mottled Petrel the trading was a bit of a blur, but apparently spiky wooden balls were something the mountain home didn't have, so they sold for a lot. The ninji walked away with not only basic trading skills, but also 2 ropes, 2 water skins, 1 nokokon (instrument), 1 epic sax (instrument), 1 alolan meowth, 1-... wait...
"Uh, why do you have a barrel of weresalamander blood?" Mottled Petrel asks one of the traders. The trader just shrugged "Someone killed a weresalamander and drained its blood into a barrel? I don't know, all I know is that its expensive, might be a bit dangerous to have around though. Do you want it?" Mottled Petrel thought for a moment, he had heard plenty of gruesome tales of were animals ripping their neighbors to shreds "Sure, we'll take it.". The ninji gave Mottled Petrel a questioning look, he shrugged back "You never know, I'm sure ZM5 would like to use it for science and alchemy or whatever the hell an occultist does.". After that they purchased 4 barrels of alcohol, 2 buckets, an enchanted iron pistol (because it was really cheap for what it was), a bismuth bronze laptop (also unbelievably cheap), a bag of blade weed seeds, a bag of cheri berry seeds, a bag of babriri seeds, 20 meat, some pokebeans, 1 backpack, 2 quivers, and two parchment sheets.
Overall, a very good haul for only about 10 logs worth of material. Scourge decided that he wanted the alolan meowth, Mottled Petrel acquiesced "We don't have a mate for it, so I guess you can have it. I'll see if Enemy Post can train it for war so we can assign it to you.".
Before the newly acquired goods could be dispersed further the oracle pulled Mottled Petrel aside "I am your liaison from the Mountain home. Let's discuss your situation." he handed Mottled Petrel a folded piece of paper. In big black letters it said 'NEWS'. "Now, what do you request of our merchants?" he asked, handing a list of available supplies to Mottled Petrel. 'Uhh, there isn't really anything we need specifically at the moment. We just need to get ourselves underground and smelting, other than that we're good.' Mottled Petrel glanced the paper over "Uhh, I guess we'd like a few small cut key stones for evolving pokemon. That and maybe some more parchement.". The oracle looked surprised, as if he was expecting to wait twenty minutes for a decision to be made "That's it? All right, uh, I have finalized the import agreement." He was about to hand Mottled Petrel more paper, but thought it wouldn't be worth it with only two items requested "Now, let's discuss what we are willing to offer for your craftskoopaship.".
He handed Mottled Petrel a final piece of paper, Mottled Petrel glanced at it 'Yeah right, like we're going to be exporting maces anytime soon.'. The oracle then bowed "Farewell, I look forward to our meeting next year. Our fortunes rise and fall together." he unbowed "I'm going to loiter around the fort a little while to make sure that things are ship shape, do you have a tavern or something I could crash in." Mottled Petrel gave him an exaggerated look "Dude, we don't even have room for our supplies underground, why the hell would we have a tavern?". "Oh well." was all the oracle said, as he walked down into the fort proper.
Lucky for him the miners had finally gotten around to widening the entrance. The alolan meowth was successfully trained and assigned to Scourge, he kinda just stared at it for a little, but then the meowth climbed up him and draped itself across his shoulders. Scourge seemed to accept this, he named it Nokopa Kakpomnokonk, or 'Nakopa Narrowgaurds', then he went back to work as if nothing had happened.
After the newly acquired alcohol had been brought to the stockpile the fort descended upon it like a pack of hungry vultures. Mottled Petrel did note that one of the ninjis drank something labeled 'dream ale', he immediately fell asleep as soon as the ale touched his lips 'Well, I'm not really sure what I expected from that one. Maybe that it was so good it was like a dream? I should probably forbid that, but I guess I'll leave it for now.'. Scourge then drank some of the dream ale too, and passed out on top of the ninji. 'Speaking of sleep' "Hey, can someone move the beds I had made to the north side of the room? We'll move them once we have a proper dormitory, but for now I want somewhere not on the ground to sleep. Also, when Scourge wakes up can someone tell him to make some tables and chairs?" no one really jumped to it, but no one refused.
ZM5 and Gwolfski are now also passed out because of the dream ale 'That's it, that thing is getting forbidden. Then burned when we have the magma for it.'.
The main room is now mostly clear, half of our workforce is still passed out in a pile, and the still hasn't been built. But native platinum has been struck in the top left of the main room.
Unfortunately, this is countered by some potentially dangerous fire horses on the surface. The situation is further worsened by a literal dragon flying around over head. Enemy Post seems convinced that he can hunt one of them "Big dragon head will look good on wall over fireplace!" he exclaimed as he grabbed his maple Ak-47 and rushed out of the fort. Mottled Petrel tried to stop him "You've never even fired a weapon before! Wooden bullets won't do anything but anger him!" Enemy Post paid him no heed and continued running.
Over the course of the day Enemy Post ran around under the salamence, never firing a shot. Mottled Petrel watched with angst from the sidelines, next to him 12 ornitholestes chicks hatched from their eggs and crawled out into the world. Followed by ten laser ceratosauruses and 3 lawnmowers. For whatever reason they ran out of the pasture and all congregated around the food stock pile.
The trolls were lounging around the wagon "Hey, could you guys move all the supplies down into the upper left corner of the main room?". Then, a hoard of thrashlings erupt from their nest box "I want a few of them butchered, if we can get anything of value from them butcher some more.". 'Wait, I'm the only one awake who has butchering active.' Mottled Petrel grabbed a thrashling in a choke hold and dragged it down to the butcher's shop. He shoved the thrashling into the miniature guillotine, and pulled the lever. The thrashling basically split in half, yielding only a usable skull. 'Whatever, I'll let them mature and see if we can get some meat from them then.' Mottled Petrel picked up the skull and brought it to the refuse pile, noticing that the traders had left.
'17th of Malachite and those guys are still asleep, and no still has been made. I should chastise Gwolfski for not making it when he wakes up.'.
'If those rapidashes get any closer we're fucked. If Enemy Post tries to kill them we're fucked. If an animal wanders over there we're fucked. Gods, how do those things even exist as horses if they're constantly on fire?'.
'Oh fuck, why'd they have to get here right in front of the fire horses?' migrants had arrived, and they were dangerously close to the passing rapidashes. Luckily, the rapidashes didn't notice them and the new migrants made it to the fort safely.
"All right, lets see" Mottled Petrel pulled out one of the pieces of parchment that had recently been bought, he turned to the first koopa in line for entering the fort (for easier reading I put a * in front of Mottled Petrel's line) "*Name" "MrLurkety" "*Profession" "Jeweler" "*Skills" "Great gem cutter, great gem setter, great comedian, magikoopa" "*Reason for being sent to Modded Hell" MrLurkety looked a little surprised by this question "Oh, uh, the mountain home ran out of raw gems. And I drew the short straw" "*Preferences" "I'd prefer to remain a jeweler" Mottled Petrel finished the cat picture he was drawing on the parchment in his hand by adding a dead two legged rhino lizard dangling from its mouth. He hadn't been listening, but he heard jeweler and that was enough to go by "*All right, you can remain a jeweler, but from now on you are also a mason, stone crafter, and mechanic. I'll give a proper introduction once everyone is inside." "Uh, alright".
Mottled Petrel goes back to his drawing and starts adding more details to the cat "*Next", the next koopa stepped up very eagerly "Hello, my name is Silverlock and I'm a great herbalist, adequate record keeper, and a great comedian. I've come to Modded Hell because I have heard of your legendary efforts and would like to help any way I can!" Mottled Petrel stopped halfway through the bat wings he was giving the cat "*How does squire sound?" Silverlock took a knee "I'd be honored sir" 'Good, now I don't have to keep yelling out orders as I walk by' "*All right, you'll be my squire. That means relaying orders, giving me reports, and generally being my second set of eyes. In addition to this you will be a farmer and the bookkeeper once we have an office set up for you. Go wait inside until I can give everyone a run down of our situation." Silverlock eagerly rushed down into the fort.
"*Next" Urlance Woolsbane stepped forward, if Mottled Petrel had bothered to look up from the spikes he was adding to the cat's wings he'd have recognized him "*Name" "Urlance Woolsbane" "*Profession" "Animal Dissector" "*Skills" "Adequate animal dissector, adequate wound dresser, adequate diagnostician." "*Preferences" "Something Medical" "*Reason for being sent to Modded Hell" Urlance looked like he wanted to word what he said carefully "Uncouth medical practices" Mottled Petrel jabbed at the parchment with his quill, which may have seemed like an act of bookkeeping, but was really him just putting the finishing touch on the small family of two legged rhino lizards weeping at the loss of their son. "*All right, you are now chief medikoopa. You have all medical tasks and you will be a furnace operator when you aren't tending to patients. Please, head inside" Urlance looked like he didn't know how he got stuck with furnace operator, but he'd take chief medikoopa.
Next a baby rhinocerous walked up to Mottled Petrel, "Name" *Rhinocerous noises* "Profession" *Confused Rhinocerous Noises* Mottled Petrel didn't look up from the sick leather boots he was giving the cat "Now don't get fresh with me mister, for that you're resigned to hauling" *Disappointed rhinocerous noises*. "Next" a turtwig walked up to Mottled Petrel, this time Mottled Petrel actually looked down "You can just go to the grass type pasture, more turtles are always welcome here".
"*Next" a rather large and imposing koopa walked up next "*Name" "Неизвестный" Mottled Petrel stopped drawing the flame decals on the leather boots "*We speak Koopish here, sir" In a very deep, gruff, and broken Koopish the large koopa replied "KoopaUnknown" "*Thank you, profession" "Potazh Maker" "*Skills" "Great Potazh maker" Mottled Petrel stopped again "*Is that it?" KoopaUnknown thought for a minute "I am also champion of communizm, very strongk burly koopa, and expert intimidator" "*Reason for being sent to Modded Hell" "The gloriouz ztate zaid communizm needed to be zecured here" it seemed that in reality the mountain home just didn't want to hurt his feelings "*If you're strong I guess you could haul-" "
NO, YOU WILL GIVE ME MILITARY POZITION SO I MAY FIGHT FOR COMMUNIZM!" Mottled Petrel flinched a few steps backwards 'He wasn't lying about the intimidation skills' "*Okay, you can be the head brute once we have a barracks and weapons for you. For now you can just do what you want, please don't hurt me". KoopaUnknown nodded and walked inside.
Mottled Petrel was still a little shaken when the next koopa walked up, he gulped and composed himself "*Name" "Wags" "*Profession" "Gemcutter" "*Skills" "Great gem cutter" "*Preferences" "Gem cutter, and maybe bone carver" "*Reason for being sent to Modded Hell" "There was a mass lay off of gem cutters because the mountain home has run out of raw gems." 'We don't need more than one great gem cutter in this fort' "*Gem cutter can stay, you can have bone carver, but you'll also have leather working, weaving, clothesmaking, and bookbinding. The demand for any of those is probably going to be nonexistent, but we need at least one person to have it. Please wait inside". Wags started walking, but turned around "But I don't know anything about any of those tho-" "*Join the club, none of us know how to do any of our jobs either. You'll fit right in." Wags couldn't argue with that, so he walked in. Mottled Petrel stopped him "*Wait, are you a burly koopa?" wags was indeed a head taller than the other koopas and had rippling muscles "Uh, yeah" "*I'm assigning you to the military once we have a barracks for you." wags sighed in disappointment as if he had been expecting that to be the case and looked let down "Alright".
A bidoof walked up to Mottled Petrel, he looked down from the scorpion stinger he was putting on the end of the cat's tail "You can just do what you want". Another koopa "*Name" "EPM" "*Profession" "Fishery Worker" "*Skills" EPM winced a little "Novice fish cleaner" Mottled Petrel didn't even have to ask why he was sent to Modded Hell "*Hm, how does metalsmith sound?" EPM looked like he had just been sentenced to being thrown into a volcano "Wha- I can't do something that advanced! I can hardly coordinate my hands well enough to clean a fish, much less make complex weapons and armor!" Mottled Petrel had decided to give the cat a small dimetrodon fin running the length of its back "*There is little to no chance that we're ever going to get someone with even a little skill in the metal works, so we need someone to start from scratch. Just make things with sharp points and you'll be fine. You can do fishing stuff when you aren't metalworking, but metalworking is the priority. Please, head inside." EPM walked inside looking like he was really concerned that he'd fuck up.
Another koopa stumbled up to Mottled Petrel, this one looking a little worse for wear "*Name" "Uhh... Stingpie" "*Profession" "Loremaster" "*Profession" "Fine... peasant" "*Skills" "Proficient student, competent reader, talented logician, adequate mathematician" "*Applicable work skills" "...none" "*Preferences" "Scholar?" Ironic really, because Mottled Petrel had just finished drawing a two legged rhino lizard town burning to the ground in the background of his drawing. He was considering having a scholar run out of the town's library on fire "*Sure, you can do that once we actually have a library, but until then you'll be a farmer. Please, walk inside and aquatint yourself with the other koopas." Stingpie looked like he was just glad to have made it to the fort alive.
"Oh, have you seen my wife, EPM?" that caught Mottled Petrel off guard a little "*Uh, she just walked inside." Stingpie rushed to catch up with her. Next, a wigglytuff walked by, singing "Sorry ma'am, but we don't need singers at the moment.". After a few minutes Mottled Petrel put the finishing touches on the forked tongue coming out of the cat's mouth, and then his drawing as a whole and held it up 'Damn, what a mastercraft. I'm going to hang this up on my wall once I get a room.' he looked around 'Oh, is that all of them. Well, I guess I'll go inside too and give the new migrants a run down of the place.' Mottled Petrel thought as he walked inside.
It is now the 24th of Malachite.
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Topic: The Resurgence of Modded Hell (Back, Still Broken, Now With Giant Butterflies) (Read 301742 times)