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Creatures Uncovered (Concerns the secrets of the beast warrior)

5 (6.4%)

Misconceptions About The Dragonlord (Concerns the secrets of dragons)

10 (12.8%)

Foundations of Blizzards (Concerns the secrets of wind and air as magical weapons)

6 (7.7%)

The Meaning of Dragonfire (Concerns the secrets of dragons)

5 (6.4%)

Book of Coagulation (Concerns the secrets of legendary cheese making)

42 (53.8%)

Look for more books, I want a different secret

1 (1.3%)

Let's just steal a slab and hope for the best

9 (11.5%)

Total Members Voted: 78

[MottledPetrel]

Ah, thank you for that. I would usually shy away from something not listed under the "stable build" category, but I guess I'll give it a try.


Is customizing the files something I should care about?

[scourge728]

I've never done it, plus if when something goes horribly wrong right, we'll know the changes have nothing to do with it if there are none

[MottledPetrel]

I just got another warning saying that the alpha build of dfhack can lead to crashes and save corruption, I think I might go without dfhack for the time being. We can always add it back once it's more stable.

[MottledPetrel]

The first part of the introduction to Modded Hell is done, and holy fucking hell did I get inspired half way through. I don't know what the character limit for the forums is, but I might have to break it into two posts. If no one is opposed, I think I'd like to start tomorrow, because I think the game is fit and ready and I really want to share what I've written. I'd like to thank you stingpie for that little lore thing you did about the creation and all that, because for some reason I used it a lot. I'd also like to warn everyone before hand, if I bad mouth your character in my writing (which I have already inadvertently done, and will probably continue to do) I'm not trying to indirectly insult anyone, it's just how I write and it also creates some good humor sometimes. We're almost there guys, it took me nearly three months to get this thing together, but the glorious fort of Modded Hell will soon prosper, in blood.

[SQman]

I'd like to be koopa'd as a furnace operator preferably, but anything will do, really.

This whole thread was hysterical so far. I didn't think I'd live to the day when people are seriously discussing building a tower out of pokemon meat while musing over lawnmower breeding.

This modpack is an abomination and it shouldn't exist, blasphemy against the act of modpack compiling itself. I come here specifically to read about atrocities, so I'm not complaining.

[ZM5]

Can't wait for the proper fort start - especially once the sieges and megas start coming in. That's gonna be fun to watch.

[EPM]

I'll throw out a few silly things you can paste anywhere desired, as opposed to more elaborate mods. For example:

Code: [Select]

[LAYS_UNUSUAL_EGGS:BLOCKS:INORGANIC:CERAMIC_EARTHENWARE]
Koopa cancels gather plants: shitting brick.

I've always wanted to make a fart mod something like this plus a material that evaporates at room temperature and carries a syndrome that gives a minor negative thought, come to think of it. Or I could add... nah, the goal is to have this up and running soon, so I'll back off on additions now. This'll be a beautiful disaster and I should just enjoy the show!

[Enemy post]

Won't that trap koopas on nest boxes?

[pikachu17]

Uh, what were those suggestions again? I added the billdads if you were the one who wanted them.

These suggestions.

Are the domestic animals messed with?
If not, I suggest goats get an attack/greeting interaction that can be used once a month, that turns the target into a strawberry for a week,
pigs get an interaction that turns them into a hungry head,
Guineas get to spit lava,
horses can hide,
cows can be trained for hunting,
 chickens can be trained for war,
cats can scratch the floor like a chicken,
dogs have a farting interaction,
mules can turn into a Charmander,
donkeys turn into giant hummingbirds,
sheep can make things sleep by being counted,
cavies can turn into the cavy of the other gender,
ducks explode,
water buffalo turn dead bodies into edible jello,
reindeer lay "eggs" of coal,
geese make everything either faster or slower randomly,
yaks make koopas temporarily unable to speak, 
llamas spit caustic acid at enemies,
alpacas can breathe in water and turn anything that eats their meat into non-contagious vampires,
peafowl turn into hydras,
turkeys give enemies a useless interaction that makes them dance,
 and rabbits are made of petrified wood.

[EPM]

Won't that trap koopas on nest boxes?

Right, this issue... Nest boxes, curse you!

[MottledPetrel]

In my experience, the Koopas lay their eggs and then leave them if there is work to be done. They'll only try to sit on them if they're idle, but by that time someone will usually have collected them. Koopas will only lay fertile eggs if they have a spouse that is on site at the fort, and even then they have to be in close proximity when the eggs are layed. I've only had a few instances where this actually happened, and it got to the point where one koopa was carrying around about 12 babies at a time. I'm not sure how well the blocks would even work, but I fear that would make it so the koopas wouldn't be able to reproduce properly. This probably requires more extensive testing and tweaking than I'd like to do this close to the start. Sorry, but I'm going to have to put that idea away for later use. I'd definitely like to do something with it eventually though. As for the animal suggestions, I tried. I couldn't do it. Since no one else has stepped up to the plate to try to make them a thing, these ideas might also have to be put away for later use. I appreciate the creativity from you two, I might make a place for suggested ideas that need actual modding skill to fulfill. I'm genning the world I'm going to use now.

I've got some preliminary information before we start.

Here's our part of the world, every dark fortress and dark pit you can see is ours.
Realm: The Ageless Planets
Koopa Civ: The Ward of Searing
Region of main civ: The velvety continent
Main Dark Koopa Fortress of Kubacoppookopi: The Amethyst Desert
Tomb of Nikmoknokonk: The Amethyst Desert
Immeadiate Neighbors to the main civ: Cannibals, entertainers, shadow gnomes, Doogans, goblins, and forumites
Big first part, incoming!

[MottledPetrel]

     Somewhere deep in a Koopa fortress stands a middle aged koopa on a poorly constructed stage made out of meat blocks, in front of a well. In his hand he holds a script, behind him is an ornately carved stone wall, in front of him is a large crowd of whatever deadbeats members of the fort could be bothered to show up. A good portion of the crowd is made up of koopas just over working age. 

     "ALRIGHT! Can I have your attention koopas? So, the state has called upon me to inform the denizens of this fort about a certain place called Modded Hell. I don't particularly know much about this place myself, but they were nice enough to hand me this script filled with the necessary information before they put me up on this stage. Thanks for that guys" he turns and flashes a thumbs up to some koopas who can't be seen behind some curtains on the rightmost part of the stage. Some rustling papers and angry whispering can be heard from that direction. Agitated gestures are made that almost tear down the curtains that they are behind.

     "Geez, alright I'll stick to the script. So, I was also told that it was going to be mostly hip, young koopalings who would show up. Apparently, you guys have been shirking work here. And the state at least wants you guys to be educated on our kingdom's history if you aren't going to be useful. Before I get into this, I want you all to know that I'm not trying to guilt you into working or anything, I know what it's like to not want to work. I mean, look at me, it's been almost 40 years since I've done anything of value. I tried lawn mower ranching, but then discovered how rad the rest of the koopalings were. They weren't taking orders from anyone, they were wearing their helms backwards and skate boarding through the halls. Ah, what I'd give to kick flip again like I used to... Anyway, now for the presentation."

     The koopa on stage finally stops being a jack ass and opens up his script "All right, let's see what we've got here. Did you know, that when properly taken care of, a lawn mower can make a great life long companion. I didn't!" He looks over to the director koopas behind the curtains to his left "Hey guys, I don't think you gave me the right script. I got a" he closes the script and looks on the cover "'Basics of Lawn Mower Care for a Maturing Koopa'. Under the title it says 'to be read to the children after that old loser is done with the boring history presentation'. I know I should probably be offended by that, but come on guys, what are you, five? You could come up with better insults."

     From behind the curtains it almost appears that the directors are tearing apart a filing cabinet in an attempt to find the missing script. Papers go flying out from behind the curtain and one koopa runs out from behind the curtain, only to return with some scribing tools and parchment. The audience is clearly unimpressed by how poorly this presentation is being handled, one young koopa even dares to yell out to the koopa on stage "COME ON, I got things to do! You're literally standing in front of the history wall. Just read whatever lame history you've got to tell us from there and get on with it." It was true, behind the stage was a section of The Ward of Searing's history wall. A stone wall intricately carved with masterwork renditions of all of the events that had occurred during the reign of the koopa empire. It didn't take a scholar to realize that most of these pictures were either of devastating fires, monster attacks, or sometimes both.

     "Ah, I'd love to, but the events I've come here to tell you about are recent history. The wall only contains long past events that have come to a conclusion, so as to prevent changes half way through an engraving. But, while we're waiting for the SCRIPT" he turns and glares at the koopas working frantically behind the curtain. One of them spills a bottle of blooper ink, and said ink leaks under the curtains and onto the floor. It would appear that no one has any idea where the needed script went, or if it had even existed in the first place, and a new one was being improvised. A few of the audience members had seen other presentations where scripts had to be improvised, and quietly exited the room before they had to sit through another embarrassment.

     "*sigh* I guess we could look at some older historical events, like the great fire of 1, or the great fire of 3, or even the great fire/godzilla attack of 7. Now that I think about it, we really need to step up our fire safety. If we had, we could have prevented the death of my father in the great fire of 52, may he rest in peace." An elderly koopa with burn scars over most of his body calls from the audience "What are you talking about you fucking idiot, I'm right here."

     The koopa on the stage looks genuinely surprised to notice that his father, was in fact, right fucking there "Dad? Where have you been all these years? I thought you were dead, why didn't you come find me?" the elderly koopa in the audience looks irritated and unamused "Why the hell would I!? you're the one who pushed me into the fire so you could get to safety faster, as you were running away yelling 'women and children last'". The koopa on the stage continues to look dumbfounded, as if he actually didn't remember those events happening. "Really? I, did that? I don't remember doing that. I recall heroically saving a blaziken from the fire, and then realizing that it was a fire type so it would probably be happier in the fire. So I turned around and... pushed it... into the-" Realization dawns over the koopa on stage's face, he then apprehensively turns to look at his father with a squinty look of 'oh fuck, I really did push you into a fire'. The elderly koopa gets up and smashes his chair on the ground, and then walks out of the room in a anger filled huff.

     The audience has no idea what to make of the turn the presentation has taken, but finds it more entertaining than what they probably would have other wise had to sit through. Almost as to ruin this new feeling, an arm from behind the curtain reaches out to hand the koopa on the stage a new script. A more observant koopa would have noticed that this new script was only one page and had 'JUST FUCKING READ THIS' scrawled in big black angry letters on the back. It would appear that the directors were just about to storm out as well if something didn't start going right soon. "Ah! The script, thank you." the koopa takes the script and looks at it. It takes him a few moments to realize that he's holding it upside down.

     A few koopas with instruments walk out from behind the curtain on the other side of the stage. A few more koopas in the audience realize that what ever is about to happen is going to be terrible and leave as fast as they can. "So, it seems that to both save time and make this show more interesting they want me to do it in the form of a musical number. I've been told that some new fangled music called 'hip hop' is what the kids are into these days, so we're going with that."

    About half the audience makes a mad rush for the door, finally realizing what's to come. Before they can get to it, a guard on the outside closes and locks it. After some banging and desperate pleas to let them out the audience sullenly returns to their seats. "Aw, come on guys, it'll be fine. I've had more than my share of singing in my day. Now come on, GIVE ME A BEAT!" The instrument koopas reluctantly begin to play, eventually get to a steady hip hop beat

"Now, this is a story all about how
The kingdom got flipped turned upside down
And I'd like you to take a minute to just sit by the well
While I tell you the story of a place called modded hell."

     The instrument koopas play louder for the music break. The singing koopa looks at the script in his hand and says to himself "be quiet and wait for the music break to end, my tail". With that he quickly walks off stage and returns with a copper helm and a bright green skateboard "Now's my chance to impress all the cool kids and show them that I can still be rad". With that he puts the helm on backwards and gets onto his skateboard.

     It's very obvious to the audience that he hasn't touched a skateboard in years, and having the helm completely over his eyes isn't going to help. Koopas start to cringe and look away. The koopa on stage can't see this reaction, and probably has a giant dopey smile on his face as he imagines the crowd about to cheer him on. He attempts a kick-flip, and for one glorious second it looks like he's about to pull it off. But then he fails the execution so horribly that he lands with the board pointing straight up, almost gelding himself. He then falls head first off the stage and onto the floor. Now almost everyone in the crowd was trying to look away, in addition to one of the director koopas throwing his papers on the floor and storming off the stage. But, being a true showman, the injured koopa starts climbing up onto the stage to finish his performance. He takes his helm off, and a large dent can be seen on the top of it.
(have to split this into two parts because of character limit, please try not to post in the middle and separate it).

[MottledPetrel]

"In west Ward of Searing born and raised
On the farm plot is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' planting all cool
And all shearing some fuzzies to spin by the spool
When a couple of civs who were bent on conquest
Came to the fort and made a mess
We lost one little war where the kingdom nearly fell
And the king said 'you're going to found a new fort by the name of modded hell'

     Another music break, this time the koopa on stage didn't pick up his skate board. Instead, he flipped the page in his hand over a few times. Then he leaned over to the curtain where the directors were hiding and whispered "Is this it? Is there another page? No? Alright". He looks over to the music koopas who are still playing and makes a cut off motion to them. They don't all realize it at the same time, so it's a super awkward and out of time end to the music. The koopa on the stage looks puzzled "Well, I guess that's it for the performance. I hope you learned a lot and all that. But this has left me wondering, what poor sap was actually sent off to found this fort?"

     At the back of the room one of the guards who was leaning against the wall in an attempt to look cool (an unsuccessful attempt I might add) tipped his helm up and glared at the koopa on stage. "That poor sap would be you Mottled Petrel, you haven't done a damn thing in years and the king needs someone unskilled and expendable to found a new fort to help get the empire back on its feet. We can't spare the manpower now to send competent koopas to do it, so you and six other dead beats are going to ship out tomorrow."

     An almost resigned look spread across Mottled Petrel's face "Well...alright, the song business was fun while it lasted." The guard looks surprised that he gave in so easily and didn't offer any resistance "Really? I brought this steel chain and everything for when you tried to fight us off. I even called in the royal guard and I was going to say something cool like 'not today, punk' or 'the king's orders will be fulfilled whether you like it or not'. Actually, now that I say it out loud neither of those sound cool. Are you sure you don't want to try to fight us off or something? We could-" "Are you two done in here yet!?" A burly koopa, who many would recognize as head brute of the fort and the most skilled fighter in the whole empire, yelled as he peeked his head through the door."And where's this 'grave threat to the safety of the fort' that you were talking about" He scans the room, only to lay eyes on Mottled Petrel atop the stage. His overwhelming disappointment towards the situation he was dragged into was soon replaced by the anger towards the two guards that had wasted his time.

     "Silverlock! What the hell! You file a formal petition for the help of not only the elite guard, but ME in particular, to help you escort an unarmed and unskilled peasant who doesn't even want to resist!? You know what, don't answer that, you've wasted enough of my time. And this is the last time you'll do so. You know why? Because the two of you just bought yourself a one way ticket for the next expressway going to Modded Hell! And you, the other guard, what was your name again... Asin! Asin, you're not so much to blame for this, but seriously man, you're creeping out all the other guards with your-" Asin is also leaning against the wall with silverlock, but is either trying REALLY hard to act like a professional guard or has literally no idea what is going on. Either in an attempt to try to fake that he was paying attention after hearing his name, because of some weird personality complex, or because of a few loose screws in his head he says one of his poorly timed, nonsensical lines that have made him one of the most disliked guards in the entire fort.
     "I've gotta have a serious talk with Croteam, one of these days". The head brute almost looks like he was slapped across the face by such an interruption, even worse, an interruption that made no sense."THAT! That's why I'm throwing you out too! Seriously, you don't listen to anything anyone says and all you say are these dumb lines that sound so prerecorded and make no sense. Who the hell is Croteam!? Why can't you at least keep your mouth shut so you're squad doesn't resent you so much. Whatever, you two are staying in the dungeon until we can secure you a ride with some more useless suckers. Actually, that reminds me."

     Still ticked off from this whole course of events, the head brute barges all the way through the door and up onto the stage. He makes sure to go out of his way to aggressively push Mottled Petrel out of the lime light. "This crowd is full of some of the most useless inhabitants of this fort, maybe even the empire. As of now, at the end of every month those judged to be the least beneficial to the fort will be marked to be shipped out to live in whatever disease ridden hole in a swamp this one makes for you all." He gestures to Mottled Petrel, who he assumes is the least worthy person to lead such a mission. The audience also believes this, and in turn, freaks the fuck out for fear that they'll end up in some poorly made death camp where they would constantly have to fight off the abominations of this world with their hands.

     The head brute can't help but grin at the fear he had instilled in the audience, a wild feral grin. Mottled Petrel couldn't help but grin too, but a more thoughtful grin, almost sinister. 'This fucker is putting me in charge of my own fort' went the thoughts in his head 'Almost unchallenged power over my peers for almost no effort on my part'. For you see, Mottled Petrel was the last peasant who would fuck up a fort like some of his fellow peasant would over something as trivial as 'I forgot to set up food and water systems' or 'wait, there's stuff out here that wants to kill us?'. For you see, he was not as simple as he appeared. He was the physical vessel of the great ₥ᴕʅʈΞꝺ ꝕꭂ₶ⱤꜪʅ of old, Armok's creative assistant, and ruiner of worlds.

     After seeing Armok perfect his art of creation, ₥ᴕʅʈΞꝺ ꝕꭂ₶ⱤꜪʅ decided a little more, entropy, was needed to make his worlds more interesting. What resulted was by far the most deranged and deluded realm either of them could ever have possibly imagined, he created The Ageless Planets. It was better entertainment than either of them could have dreamed. So great, that ₥ᴕʅʈΞꝺ ꝕꭂ₶ⱤꜪʅ couldn't help but insert himself into it. He made himself a koopa body to control, but not directly. Mottled Petrel was still a free thinking, independent creature, but when help was needed or when there was an opportunity to seize ₥ᴕʅʈΞꝺ ꝕꭂ₶ⱤꜪʅ would intervene a little.

     Now was one of those times, ₥ᴕʅʈΞꝺ ꝕꭂ₶ⱤꜪʅ would go far out of his way to take an opportunity to increase the power of the Koopa warlords to help drive this world farther into the ground. Mottled Petrel was oblivious to all this, and was just glad he was being forced to be useful instead of forced to the guillotine. The local idiot and aspiring skate boarder thought 'oh boy, I'm going to get to start a quiet little town of my own! I'll get to invite over all my friends and we can have sleep overs every night'. But little did he know, this fort, Modded Hell, would either become the pinnacle of civilization and a lasting testament to the might of the koopa empire, or the most apocalyptic insane asylum the two great creators had ever seen.

     'Either way,' thought ₥ᴕʅʈΞꝺ ꝕꭂ₶ⱤꜪʅ 'these custom pawns I've made will lead to quite an amusing show'. At this point Mottled Petrel's grin was reaching almost demonic levels because of ₥ᴕʅʈΞꝺ ꝕꭂ₶ⱤꜪʅ's influence. If a magikoopa had been present, the amount of dark energy coming off of Mottled Petrel would have been enough to drive them insane, if not cause their head to explode. The head brute finally lost interest in the crowd's hysteria and looked over to Mottled Petrel to see if he was quaking in his boots. Seeing the almost unholy expression on his face nearly caused a red flag to go off in his head, but this koopa, who had vanquished undead abominations and mega beasts across the Velvety Continent, would not allow such a weak excuse for a koopa unsettle him.

     "Hey, quit smiling jack ass, you're being punished for your uselessness, remember?" With that the head brute slapped him across the face so hard Mottled Petrel was strewn across the floor. 'One day,' thought ₥ᴕʅʈΞꝺ ꝕꭂ₶ⱤꜪʅ 'his time will come. He'll soon be cleaning the blood of his friends and family from the bottom of my human leather boots with his tongue'. All Mottled Petrel could muster was a slow rub of the wounded cheek and a thought of 'Wow, I'm glad we've got him defending the empire. One day I hope we have a strong warrior like him to live in my little town. Think of all the neat party tricks he'd be able to do!'.

     And with that, the head brute's patience had run out. "Now the rest of you, get out of here and find a job!" He didn't have to tell them twice, the audience was out of the room in under a minute. A few of them may have been truly inspired to become legendary metal smiths or engravers, but most of them would likely end up being novice fish cleaners at the end of the month. "And you!" the head brute was back to yelling at Mottled Petrel, who still lay on the floor "Get up, you're coming with me. As much as I want to send you out with only the shell on your back, the king actually wants your fort to succeed. So I've been tasked with helping you pick out your supplies, because we both fear you'll just take 500 step ladders or something. Come on, I want you and your friends out of here as soon as possible".

     And with that, they went to the royal stock room, not realizing that they had just ushered in a new age for this world, one most likely full of death and dismemberment. It would all be centered around Modded Hell, the soon to be base of operations for the ruiner of worlds, ₥ᴕʅʈΞꝺ ꝕꭂ₶ⱤꜪʅ.

AND SO, MODDED HELL BEGINS!

[stingpie]

I love it so much.
just... just...

there are no words to describe my feelings about this.

[scourge728]