Deep within a koopa forstress, four koopas wade through the knee high flora of the royal underground pasture.
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The distance between the laser ceratosaurus pen and the adjacent troll pen wasn't very large, but the dense tangle of underground grasses and fungi reduced the the party to a snail's pace. As they walked a majority of the vegetation released huge clouds of spores, if even a fraction of these spores were poisonous or parasitic all four of the koopas would likely have been dead in days, just from the incredible amount of spores they were inhaling as they went. Ahead of them, small creatures flitted about just over the grass level as well as among the grass stalks. None of the koopas could even compare them to other forms of life they had ever seen before, and a few were unsettled by this fact. Instead, they decided to focus on their destination, the troll pen.
To call it a pen would be like calling a mansion a cottage, for the trolls had put in some serious effort into approving their home. The approaching koopas could only see a stone brick building connecting to the side wall of the path where the troll pen was supposed to be. At the front of this building they could just barely make out an intricately carved door and a well maintained fungus lawn in front of it. At the points where the lawn me the edge of the building there was a collection of larger, and even more unidentifiable underground plants. For all intents and purposes, it would appear that some of the trolls had not only taken the time to create a nice yard, but that they had also traveled around the pasture collecting particularly interesting plants. Whether to find practical uses for the untapped potential of this ecosystem or to just create a nice flower garden, none of the koopas could tell.
"Are you sure this is the place?" Mottled Petrel asks the hint block still under Derpy Dev's arm "I was expecting more of a mud pit or a tribal village with a bunch of trolls dancing around a bonfire. This seems more like an inn or a town hall or something." The hint block attempted to float out of Derpy Dev's arms and into its normal position at eye level, but Derpy Dev seemed like he was in the process of claiming it as a pet so he wrestled the hint block back under his arm. "*hghh, nghhh*. *sigh*. That is correct, this is the area designated for the permanent residence of the trolls. I have not been informed on the specifics of the lodgings of this pasture's inhabitants, but I do know that the trolls are quite intelligent and have taken quite a liking to the koopa way of life. I've seen them leaving the pastures and returning with copper coins at the end of the day. If anything, it seems to me that they are employed as workers more than treated as livestock. With these salaries they must have bought materials and constructed their own communal living space. I do know for certain that the head brute and the bookkeeper said that they would be waiting for you in there."
At this point the group of koopas had made it to the lawn in front of the building. The other three koopas kept walking straight to the door, but Mottled Petrel took a moment to take a closer look at the plants and fungi the trolls were cultivating. He stooped over and smelled a very spindly mint green vine that was beginning to grow up the side of the building. The vine had about 10 long, purple trumpet like flowers growing off the main stalk. Most people would have made the same assumption Mottled Petrel did, that these flowers looked like they would smell nice, but Mottled Petrel was met with an acrid chemical smell with an undertone of sulfur. Thankfully, he recoiled quickly enough before he was met by what that smell belonged to. After being disturbed by Motteled Petrel's attempt at smelling it, the flowers released a fine yellow mist. Most of the mist sprayed out onto the wall, and a faint sizzling could be heard as the outer layer of stone begins to melt. 'Uhh... all right then... I guess I should try this one'.
He turned to his left and was met with a small dark green plant with pink flowers. These flowers opened up with long petals that curved down. These petals seemed to menace with red spikes. Mottled Petrel didn't see anything inherently dangerous about this flower, so he moved over to it. When he got there he saw that on the other side of the plant there was a flower that was closed, out of the closed flower dangled an arm that might have once belonged to some kind of amphibian. Mottled Petrel pondered how this amphibian could have possibly found himself stuck inside the flower, and why the plant had closed around it, but was beckoned to the door by the rest of the group before he could come to any conclusions. Apparently the rest of the group wasn't so eager to step into the troll's living space and wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. Mottled Petrel got up and walked to the door, not noticing that the closed flower began convulsing in an almost mouth like chewing fashion after he left.
'This... this is actually a really nice door'. The door had aesthetic curling lines around its edges, with a +engraving+ of a troll and a koopa shaking hands taking up most of the middle of the door. At the top of the door was a silver plaque, on it was engraved 'Welcome to Troll Town'. From behind the door a round of rowdy laughter can be heard. "Lets get the bookkeeper and get out before these FILTHY CRETINS interfere." Scourge said behind them. The other three turned and looked at him with a confused expression, but Scourge didn't offer an explanation, or even acknowledge that the other three were looking at him. 'Well, hopefully it's not too dirty in there' Mottled Petrel thought as he opened the door and walked inside.
They were greeted by a large foyer, and a pair of troll children running past them. One child had a koopa mask on her head and two pairs of fake wooden arms tied around her torso. With her actual arms she was waving a wooden mini-chomp at the other troll child she was pursuing. Thankfully, a thoughtful parent had disabled the mini-chomp at the end of the stick, reducing it from a weapon to a plaything. The troll child being pursued had a toad mask over his head, and was doing a poor imitation of a scared toad shriek. Needless to say, it sounded just as horrible as the real thing. "Get back here you pansy!" the troll girl exclaimed in a mock serious voice that was full of giggles "Stop running and fight me like a real koopa!" this was met with a "WWwwWAaAAaaaHHhhHhOoOOoOoOOOO!!" from the troll boy. The chase led them to the back of the building, where they kept going and turned a corner. This drew attention to the fact that at the far end of the building a much larger room had been carved into the stone with many doors and hallways leading to who knows where.
The large room and the foyer leading to it had a dark wood flooring and a dim lighting supplied by wall torches and a large tin chandelier in the center of the big room's ceiling. The foyer contained a sitting area with a number of wooden chairs and low tables arranged to face a fire place and hearth to the right side of the room. In one of those chairs sat another troll, seemingly absorbed by the book he was reading. At the other side of the room were a few diorite statues of trolls in various situations. All of the koopas were impressed by how nice the foyer was, even more so by the fact that it was a place where trolls live. Well, all of them except Scourge, who looked like he had no idea what was going on and was absently staring at a troll woman who was sweeping up a pile of hair with a broom.
As if to cut their admiring short another round of laughter could be heard from the big room out of view from where the group was. Now that the sound was no longer obscured by the thick stone door, a more observant koopa could determine that it was a mix of troll and koopa laughter. None of the koopas present could be classified as such. Except maybe ZM5, but he was busily scribbling away in a note book he had pulled out of his shell at some point. Mottled Petrel leaned over to take a look, but only say a rendition of the vine he had just saw outside drawn within a mess of writing and smaller drawings. ZM5 noticed that someone had realized that he had a note book with him, and slammed it shut before quickly putting it back in his shell. He glared at Mottled Petrel for a second before saying "Well, we don't want to keep our hosts waiting, now do we?". With that he began walking towards the big room where the laughter could be heard, the other three koopas followed soon after they had shaken off the effects of how menacingly ZM5 had managed to make that polite comment.
Once in the big room, it could be seen that one of the corners had been made into almost a bar area with a large round table used for all manner of card games. At the bar a few trolls were sitting on high stools having a quiet conversation with a troll behind the bar who had a nice vest on, in his hand he was drying a mug with a napkin. Presumably, this was the bartender. At the round table there was an intense game of cards in progress. It was being played by the head brute, two other koopas, and five trolls. All of the trolls had some manner of fine clothes on, but because they were covered in fur this did not equate to full garb. For whatever reason, none of them had pants on, but they had their upper bodies and heads covered with fine shirts, vests, and hats. "*psst*, that one's the bookkeeper, if you were wondering." whispered Derpy Dev, pointing at the small, wiry koopa sitting next to the head brute. He had a terrible poker face, and was visibly panicking after presumably receiving a bad hand.
The cards they were playing with were traditional koopa cards, numbering from two to ten, and then going up to jack, queen, king and ace. Along with these numbers were pictures of tamed animals the koopas had taken a particular liking to. The numbers generally corresponded with the increasing natural strength or prowess of the animal on them. The only exception to this was that the ace had a picture of a lawnmower, which was the animal that the koopas liked the best. The game they were playing with these cards was similar to some dialect of poker, except that instead of playing with chips it seemed that they were playing with an assortment of bags of seeds, tools, barrels of alcohol, and even a stepladder. 'Are those bastards gambling with out supplies?' wondered Mottled Petrel, more curious than mad. Most of the supplies were gathered around the third and unknown koopa. His unchanging and uncaring neutral expression gave a strong 'dead inside' vibe, but a more adept face reader could see that behind this facade was a koopa who was loving every second of this game, and life in general. This was either his natural expression, or he had the best poker face ever to grace the Ageless Planets.
He also moved his cards in his hands and glanced at the faces of the other players with an air of grace, pointing towards him being an incredibly skilled card player as well. The other players around the table weren't nearly as good at keeping a neutral expression and they floundered their cards between their hands and the tables with little skill. By all standards, it was a very one sided game. One of the trolls was already out of the game and was walking around the table checking on the other players. The other players only had a few bags of seeds, a copper drill, and a couple barrels of alcohol between them. Finally, one of the trolls had had enough "FUCK IT, I'M ALL IN" he roared, slamming his stepladder and his few remaining bags of seeds onto the center of the table as well as throwing his cards in. Without even the slightest change in expression, the unknown koopa placed his cards down to reveal he had a slightly better hand.
The troll who lost banged his fist onto the table "DAMMIT! I can't believe anyone could be this good at cards! He's hiding aces in his shell, I swear!" the head brute, who looked like he had been taking drinks from one of the barrels he was using in the game, had apparently been the one causing the laughter from earlier. "An ace? This guy's got a whole 'nother card dealer up his sleeve dealing him in!" said the head brute, with a slight slur. "BWAHAAHAAHHAAA-" the entire table roared in laughter, except the third koopa, who didn't so much as blink as he slowly reached to scoop the winnings of his last hand over to his growing hoard. Even Derpy Dev could be heard laughing behind Mottled Petrel, he looked like he was about to tell his own joke, but Mottled Petrel stopped him with a 'don't blow this for us' look. In the throws of his laughter, the head brute noticed that the expedition he was supposed to be helping had shown up, he waved them over. "Heeeeeey guys! Come on, I'll deal you in. Watch out though, Gwolfski over there is one hell of a card shark. I'm starting to worry he might just be a shark with a shell!" more laughter, the troll next to the head brute forcefully pats him on the back of the shell in a 'you're fucking hysterical, man' gesture. This knocks the head brute out of his chair, still laughing.
The most formally dressed troll gets up from the table after the laughter dies down "As much as I'd like to play another round with the addition of these four, er" he looks down at the hint block, and wonders for a second if he could find a way to to get him to play "these four and a half, I know you've got some business to attend to, as do I. As for you guys, Welcome to Troll Town! Our own little province inside the koopa mountain home. With all of the money earned from hauling and doing miscellaneous jobs around the fort we were able to buy more land behind our old pasture and some drills to mine out the halls you stand in now. Us trolls aren't as skilled and fast learning as you koopas, so we aren't suited for skilled labor. But, after some excessively long practice, we've been able to train a few crafttrolls in some of the more useful crafts. And with them, we've been able to properly furnish our province and create a proper town for ourselves. And I! I am its proud mayor! But alas, like the rest of the koopa state we suffer the problem of unemployment. A few of our own just refuse to work, so, we're shipping them out with you. Hopefully they'll at least help haul around heavy objects like our fore fathers did right after we were dragged out of the caverns below and out of ignorance along with it, but I hope that one day they can come to their senses and possibly form something wonderful like we have here. Bartender! Could you bring them in?".
The bartender nodded and casually walked out to grab the desired trolls. Around that same time the bookkeeper noticed that Derpy Dev had the hint block under his arm "Why have you removed that hint block from its post?". Mottled Petrel turned to answer "Oh, we're taking him with us. He wanted to come, so I guess we're going to use him as a welcoming man, or to help people directions for navigating the fort or something.". The bookkeeper grumbled as he put on his glasses and took out a scroll with a quill and ink "*grumbles* This is against regulation, but I'll allow it. It shouldn't take too long to train another hint block to direct people throughout the pasture and log transactions within it. I'll get that zealot 'KoopaUnknown' to do it. Nothing scares the animal workers more that muscular koopa yelling at them in whatever fucking language his kidnappers taught him. *grumbles*". 'Uhh, I guess I'll take that as a yes' thought Mottled Petrel, looking back at the head brute who was attempting to take a drink from one of the barrels while still on the floor.
A few moments of quiet, only broken by the sounds of the scribe scribbling on his scroll, and ZM5 scribbling in his note book again. Luckily, the bartender troll returned with 5 troll men and 3 troll women before Derpy Dev took the opportunity to try to tell jokes. "Here they are, 8 able bodied workers who refuse to work." said the mayor troll, gesturing with mild disappointment to the trolls who had been sentenced to travel to Modded Hell "I hope the threat of starving to death instills a better work ethic into them. Good luck! And be sure to say hi to the outpost liaison if you see him, I owe him a game of cards.". He turned to walk away, but stopped and turned around as he remembered something "Oh yeah, Gwolfski is going with you. He's an amazing card player and can do some incredible card tricks. I was going to hire him as an entertainer, but he's just too serious to be one. Our people value rambunctiousness in our taverns, but he's just a stick in the mud, all the time, 24/7. He's been loitering here in the tavern for far too long without so much as a thought of at least helping around the province. So, I asked the head brute on one of his previous visits, and he's being sent to Modded Hell as well. Good luck Gwolfski, I'm going to miss you. The card table is going to be awfully balanced without you here.".
With that, the mayor troll banged his fist against his chest twice in a show of respect, then he continued on his way. Gwolfski's expression hadn't changed in the slightest, it appeared that he hadn't blinked once during the duration of the game. But it wasn't a vacant stare like Scourge had, it was a deep analytical stare of someone who was constantly taking in every detail of the situation while still guarding all emotion. He slowly stood up, "Very well, I will assist you on your expedition as I am able". 'Well, I guess I gotta make sure to make a card table some time for this guy' Mottled Petrel thought, and then looked at the large pile of supplies that were presumably theirs."Uh, do you think you guys could carry all of our supplies up to the wagon while the rest of us pick out our animals?" he said to the trolls, who were waiting against the wall. They all looked at each other, and then one of them shrugged and said "Sure, we'll get to it". They reluctantly walk over and start to slowly pick the supplies up off the table, ground, and the head brute. The bookkeeper got up after finishing the ledger he had been working on "Gentle koopas, I will accompany you for the rest of your time in the royal pastures. You be able to take all of these supplies here with you as well as extra animals. You can turn in some of these supplies in exchange for more animals. I will keep this list of your decisions so we can send the trolls down later to drag your desired animals up to your wagon when it is time for your departure. Shall we continue on our way?".
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SQman, your introduction captured exactly how i would imagine the boiler room in this koopa fort would look. I applaud your good work.
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Topic: The Resurgence of Modded Hell (Back, Still Broken, Now With Giant Butterflies) (Read 301231 times)