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Creatures Uncovered (Concerns the secrets of the beast warrior)

5 (6.5%)

Misconceptions About The Dragonlord (Concerns the secrets of dragons)

10 (13%)

Foundations of Blizzards (Concerns the secrets of wind and air as magical weapons)

6 (7.8%)

The Meaning of Dragonfire (Concerns the secrets of dragons)

4 (5.2%)

Book of Coagulation (Concerns the secrets of legendary cheese making)

42 (54.5%)

Look for more books, I want a different secret

1 (1.3%)

Let's just steal a slab and hope for the best

9 (11.7%)

Total Members Voted: 77

[pikachu17]

Yep. Been there for a while.
Since December 17th 2017.

[MottledPetrel]

The thread itself was started October 14th, but yeah, I remember the fort being started around December. One year anniversery's almost here, who say's we do something special for it? It's a shame though, we've only made it like 3 years in the fort after almost a whole year, it's just too damn time consuming making sure everything doesn't unravel into its base error ridden code.

*Didn't want to double post. I just noticed that this fort is mentioned at the bottom of this TVTropes page.

Oh fuck, we're famous now. I'm flattered, if whoever did that is reading the thread, which I doubt because that post probably would have been a lot longer with a lot more questions. Any idea if Modded Hell has spread anywhere else?

I totally forgot about that fruit salad quote, out of context that must make no sense. Having been the one who put this damn thing together it makes sense to me, but for everyone else I'm sure the 'makes just as much sense in context' is reasonable.

[pikachu17]

I was noting the date Modded Hel was added to the Tvtropes page.

[auzewasright]

The mention on TV Tropes was what introduced me to this fortress.

[MottledPetrel]

You know, I just thought of something. I've got this Modded Hell mural that I started and wasn't able to finish because I also needed to work on updates as well. Do you guys want to try one of those 'community drawing' things, I think they're called? Whether you aren't familiar with the concept, or I got the name all wrong, I post a scene and then people take turns adding one thing to the drawing. Of course, it would be preferable if they were related to Modded Hell events, but as long as they're sorta on topic it's good enough. It would be on a first come first serve basis, and the additions don't have to be masterworks as long as you just aren't scribbling across the drawing. Anyone interested?

[SQman]

I downloaded the save file, retired the fort, settled a new one, and the first thing I see is a pack of paragoombas bumrushing an innocent naga. Koopa forts are just not meant to be peaceful, it seems. Also, I was really disappointed when I learned what Blow Hards really are.

[IndigoFenix]

You do realize that anyone can edit TV Tropes right? It could have been me. (it wasn't)

I should probably edit that though.  It says the fruit salad quote "makes just as much sense in context" when it clearly makes perfect sense in context.

[MottledPetrel]

Goombas of any kind have turned out to be a lot more unnecessarily violent than they probably should be, but then they can hardly even harm anything so it balances out. And aren't blow hards one of those stationary things from Yoshi's island?

I did not know that anyone could edit TV Tropes, but to be fair I hardly knew it existed until it was brought up. Now that I think about it, someone would have one hell of a time trying to identify all the tropes I didn't even know I was using in this. It would be nightmarishly long, but I'm sure it would be pretty funny.

[auzewasright]

Goombas of any kind have turned out to be a lot more unnecessarily violent than they probably should be, but then they can hardly even harm anything so it balances out. And aren't blow hards one of those stationary things from Yoshi's island?

I did not know that anyone could edit TV Tropes, but to be fair I hardly knew it existed until it was brought up. Now that I think about it, someone would have one hell of a time trying to identify all the tropes I didn't even know I was using in this. It would be nightmarishly long, but I'm sure it would be pretty funny.

This isn't even the longest Bay12 let's play to be documented. It could be done.

[MottledPetrel]

Uh, is there a way I can use DFhack to give koopas the skill of novice reader? I think the people I trapped in the cheese dungeon can't actually read, rendering the whole scheme to trap them with the Book of Coagulation useless.

[auzewasright]

Uh, is there a way I can use DFhack to give koopas the skill of novice reader? I think the people I trapped in the cheese dungeon can't actually read, rendering the whole scheme to trap them with the Book of Coagulation useless.

Not sure if the reading skill is needed in fortress mode. I guess you could recruit some scholars who can in the hopes of having it taught...

[MottledPetrel]

After days of having their north-westernmost hill occupied by forumite invaders, the koopas of a koopa fortress gather to drive them off.
---
Of course, with a fighting force made up almost entirely of unskilled recruits, that can only go so well.

     And of course, the first forumite encountered entered a martial trance and cuts off the foot of the first koopa to reach him. However, his martial trance wasn't enough to resist the steel chainsaw that was soon lodged in his abdomen. Despite being face-down in a literal moshpit, the koopa who got his foot cut off actually managed to kill a few forumites before being killed himself. Right after that happened, another koopa got his foot cut off as well.

And just like that, the fight was over with only one casualty and a lost foot.

     The trolls seemed less than happy that they had to clean up after yet another siege. Mottled Petrel was starting to become concerned for the mental health of the trolls in the fortress, they seemed to never feel any good emotions and never hardened themselves against the sight of a dead body. There wasn't much he could do about it though.

     Some migrants had arrived, and Mottled Petrel showed them about as much courtesy as the last ones. All 8 of the migrants were put into a new squad with SQman as a temporary subordinate brute because he was the only burly koopa in the whole fort besides Darkening Kaos. Mottled Petrel then went to immediately remove SQman from the position because he was only needed there as a figure head so that new recruits could be assigned to the squad, but the demon king instead informed Mottled Petrel that SQman would have to be replaced instead of just removed. "But that makes no sense, they're only going to be training until we can get a replacement anyways. We need SQman working the smelters." the demon king didn't budge "He will be replaced, we can't have an unsupervised unit, it just isn't right". SQman was less than pleased with this news, but he sucked it up and went to his barracks. This new squad was to be equipped with 4 AK-47's each, Mottled Petrel had the intention of redefining the word 'bullet hell'.

He claimed a clothier's shop, so it isn't even worth mentioning.

'Of course, beware its fire, because since when is there enough fire around here! Oh well, at least it's in the second layer.'.

Sensing this disturbance, a particularly clairvoyant bard shows some of his magical skill.

     A loud click resounded through the fortress, and after a few minutes of searching Mottled Petrel found that someone had decided to pull the lever to seal off the secondary fortress from the outside world. And in doing so, an unlucky koopa had been crushed to death in its hinges. Mottled Petrel knocked against the bridge "What the hell are you doing in there?" he yelled, unaware if his voice would even travel through. From the other side of the bridge a muffled voice was heard "My name is Urist Mc Dwarf, and as of today I am formally splitting off from Modded Hell. Me and ScourgeII are going to become the greatest tyromancers to ever live and create our own fort, and you aren't invited!". Mottled Petrel looked to his right to see ScourgeII staring at nothing in particular with his usual vacant look "What are you talking about, ScourgeII is right here?".

     There was a long pause, "He is?" the shuffling of feet was followed by a voice even further muffled by distance "What the hell man, you told me you were ScourgeII, the prophesized one" "What are you talking about, I'm a wood burner, I'm here on my break. I've never seen you before, much less spoke to you.". An even longer awkward silence ensued, before Urist Mc Dwarf could be heard returning to the gate "As of today me and this wood burner are splitting off from the fort. Our fortress shall be known as 'BetterHell', don't try to stop us.". Mottled Petrel wasn't really sure what he had been expecting, but he stood in mild bewilderment for a moment, "You know the lever to open up that gate is only like 10 feet away from me, right?". Urist Mc Dwarf didn't answer, but the sounds of boulders being hauled to block off the their side of the bridge could be heard. "Whatever man, I'll just give your room to someone else if you really don't want it.".

After walking away, another koopa showed Mottled Petrel the head scarf he made entirely out of troll eyebrows.

'You know, I don't think I really blame those guys for wanting to get out of here'. Needless to say, the troll wasn't very happy about having his eyebrows taken.

---
Day 1 of the overseer of Better Hell:

I fear that I have made a grave miscalculation, it would appear that neither me nor the wood burner actually know how to read. Rendering the Book of Coagulation, my plan, and this journal utterly useless. We have only enough food stocks for a week or so, if we do not achieve a cheesy immortality soon we may be forced to steal supplies from nearby Modded Hell and kidnap someone more fluent in the language arts.
---
I'm at a loss guys, we need to do something fast to spread the secrets of cheese or the second fortress is doomed.

[Enemy post]

In most forts, I would be surprised that the author created a journal despite being illiterate. Presumably, he just learned how to write, but missed the reading part.

[pikachu17]

But then his proofreading would be terrible.

[Imic]

But then his proofreading would be terrible.

Quote from the journal:
'Tdy i dsided t mayk a nothr frt undr th main wn'
This is what you get for writing a book, but without knowing how to actually read in the first place.

Is my dwarf still alive? I would like to request a rematch with life if not. I will happily assist with the continuation if Betterhell^TM, albeit from far away, without actually letting the save file onto my computer. I'm afraid my PC might start vomiting lamons made of turtle hair if I so much as look at the download page...