Deep in a cavern far below the surface, a koopa nervously watches the fortification of a narrow entryway.
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Everything in the immediate area had been killed or driven away, but Mottled Petrel still couldn't help but feel that something terrible was going to come before the area was fortified for proper defending. Bloop_bleep was still curled up in his shell, Darkening Kaos was seeking medical attention, and one of the migrants had swept up the remains of the vomit blob into a comically oversized dust bin for disposal. Everything seemed fine, but Mottled Petrel wouldn't have it.
On the other hand, Auze was estatic with the discovery of the dolphin man figurine. Not only because he had an unceasing love for figurines, but he claimed this particular one was overflowing with magic energy. "I mean, we ripped it from the insides of a ghost, so I'd imagine there's something special to it" was all Mottled Petrel had said. Auze replied by scoffing as if he was talking to an uneducated koopaling, and retreated to his quarters to
fondle analyze the figurine.
Almost as if to prove Mottled Petrel's suspicions correct, a pained cry emanated from farther within the cave. It would appear that one of the visiting kalkir had delved into the chasm leading down to the second cavern layer to put an end to the remaining Lo.
He wasn't doing all that well. After getting most of his arms broken, the kalkir got a lucky shot in and killed the Lo. This one did not drop a figurine though. Instead of going back into the fort to seek medical attention, the kalkir instead continued down the chasm and into the second cavern layer. For whatever reason, he deemed it necessary to call back up the chasm all that he saw. It helped the koopas learn what they were dealing with, but it probably also attracted the attention of everything within the area.
He reported mushroom trees that appeared to be made out of solid gold, trees that looked like they were made entirely out of some unknown creature's eggs, some kind of hive insect that had constructed their home into a tree like structure, and- "Oh hey, a goblin cap." he called up, with a chuckle. He didn't see anything big in the immediate area, but around the corner was a small skull. When the kalkir got closer to investigate it, a mess of severed tendons erupted from the bottom of it.
These tendons quickly got to work dragging the skull away from the kalkir.
Further into the cave was a number of crundle skeletons, and even more repulsive maggots sucking the last bits of nutrients from the bones.
The kalkir continued to explain the situation, but Mottled Petrel was distracted by Lunar, who was walking into the cave in the direction of the chasm. "What the hell are you doing?" Mottled Petrel asked, "I've always wanted to make a crundle bone piccolo, so I'm going to go get some crundle bone" Lunar replied, as if it was no big deal.
"In the second layer!? We've hardly seen a snip-bit of it and you want to haul a carcass out of there? I forbid you from touching those skeletons!" Mottled Petrel cried out to Lunar, who was still heading towards the chasm "
Awww. Fine, I'll just go down there to look at them" Lunar cried back. 'Fuck, how do I set movement restrictions without resigning the whole fortress to a burrow again?' Mottled Petrel desperately floundered around his mind, trying to think of a way to prevent any more people from going down into the second layer. After a few minutes, a troll walked by doing gods only know what "You troll, could you put a floor over the entrance to the second cavern layer?". "Uh, isn't the kalkir down there? I love that guy, he's the life of the party in the tavern. Shouldn't we not, you know, seal him down there forever?" The troll asked. Mottled Petrel sighed "That one's on a suicide mission. We'll be lucky if we ever see him again, but I'm not endangering more lives by leaving the second layer open.". Long before the floor was even placed, the kalkir wandered out of earshot and was gone forever, hopefully to find a better life for himself living among the fungus trees.
With a reluctant sigh, the troll sealed off his friend's only mean of escape.
Eventually, the miners began complaining that they were bored of hauling, so Mottled Petrel handed them the blueprints for an unnecessarily large prison complex.
Derpy Dev looked at it, and scratched his head "You sure we really need this, sir? This could probably hold, like, one fourth of our population.", Mottled Petrel shrugged "The cage loaders used all of the prison grade metal cages in the traps, and we've probably only have one copper chain left, so most of it is probably going to be unused for a while. Just better to have the space now for when we need it.".
"Sir," SilverlockII said "The weapons dealers are back.". Mottled Petrel squinted in confusion, obviously having no idea who SilverlockII was referring to "Those laidback snail people, the bubblainians.".
Mottled Petrel's eyes bugged out a little as he remembered the obscenely powerful weaponry they had brought last year "Uh, have a bunch of wooden spiked balls made, now. I was unable to determine the actual value of those weapons, but I want them".
"Oh, and there's also a human caravan behind them, in case that's important." SilverlockII added, before going to relay the production order.
Back in the caves, Mottled Petrel watched as one of the trolls removes the staircase that would drop the staircase above it onto bloop_bleep. The troll finally removed it, but the upper stairs kinda just floated in the air as if they never needed to be supported.
The troll looked towards Mottled Petrel for an explanation, but Mottled Petrel couldn't give one "I don't know, just build some floors leading out to it and then some more floors leading off of it. We'll deconstruct the stair and the floors will drop.". "Wow, I'm glad we've got someone as smart as you to be our leader!" the troll said as he ran off to find the materials to build the floors. Mottled Petrel couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not, but decided not to think about it too much.
To help Mottled Petrel not think about it, the convenient distraction of the koopa caravan came. Mottled Petrel was expecting either a stern talking to, or a pat on the back from the oracle for becoming involved in the war against the fomites.
The bubblainians were taking incredibly long to get to the trade depot, again, so Mottled Petrel was waiting in his office for one of the other merchant groups to arrive. He twiddled his thumbs, looked at the normalium Z desk ornament he had bought last year and- "
SIR! SIR!" Madd yelled as he burst through Mottled Petrel's office door. Mottled Petrel almost fell out of his chair from surprise "What! What is it, spit it out!" "Sir, there are these guns with legs and arms on our land! I was getting wood to make the spiked balls, and I saw them, and they got-"
"-Oh, those must be the gun folk. Don't worry, they're a nice people once you get to kno-" at this point Madd looked like he was about to fall into an over-stressed fetal position "-No sir, it's not that. They've got animals made out of gunpowder, and they've got a fucking
PONYTA stored right next to them!".
Mottled Petrel now understood the concern, one especially bright spark and the whole caravan would be reduced to a smoldering crater. Mottled Petrel looked like he was about to shit his pants "
Woah woah woah, don't let them into the fort. I'll, uh, I'll come up with some reason to tell them to drop their ponyta outside.". Madd made a motion that was more of a spastic jitter than a nod, and ran out of the room. And by ran out of the room I mean he ran face first into the wall next to the door. After collecting his senses and rubbing the bruise on his head, he pushed his way past Pikalord and ran out to try to stall the gunfolk.
Pikalord looked a little bewildered, but walked in to see Mottled Petrel anyways "I have news sir. Which do you want, the good news, the bad news, or the weird news.". Mottled Petrel buried his beak in his hands "The bad news" he mumbled. "Well, for starters, it appears that none of the caravans brought any pikachu. I'm sure you don't really care, but internally I'm kinda freaking out. As for the actual bad news, it would appear that a small marill leather armor worn by one of the invaders has been burning for months now. By Mugamok's calculations, it should continue to burn for at least a few more months if not indefinitely. This means that we might potentially have an eternal forest fire starter if we don't do something about it.".
Mottled Petrel waited a few moments, and then looked up from his hands "Is that it?". Pikalord face palmed "Sir, you're the only one I've ever known who could seriously respond to a potentially fortress ending problem with 'Is that it?'. But yes, that is it. Unless you want to count the troll who just tried to break in through the caves. He was caught, but is proving resistant to training." "And the good news?" "The koopa caravan has brought at least 5 wagons and even more horses, so the chances of us actually finding something useful this year are pretty high. And as for the weird news, we've managed to catch a kestrel in a trap meant for ground animals.".
Mottled Petrel squinted in confusion "A kestrel? As in the small bird of prey?" "Yes" "The ones that almost never touch the ground?" "Don't ask me how it happened, it just did.". Mottled Petrel looked down at his hands for a few seconds "What the hell are we going to do with it?" "I don't fucking know, I was just sent here to tell you." Pikalord said, exasperatedly. Mottled Petrel slowly got up from his chair "Well I might as well go deal with the merchants while you figure out a use for a small bird of prey.".
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Still on hiatus, but I've had this sitting in my files for long enough, thought I'd get it out to help tide you guys over so you don't lose interest while waiting.
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Topic: The Resurgence of Modded Hell (Back, Still Broken, Now With Giant Butterflies) (Read 301008 times)