Deep in a fledgling koopa fort, a koopa hands a set of blueprints to another koopa who is holding a pickaxe.
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"This is going to be the layout of the first cavern layer base. The long spindly hallway will be filled with cage and weapon traps to dissuade intruders, and the large area will function like a second home. I want you to get on this after you finish the mayor's room." Mottled Petrel said, as he handed ZM5 the blueprints. ZM5 looked it over for a minute "Will we be allowed in the caves once it's done?" he asked, with a grin on his face. Mottled Petrel nodded, "Then it's as good as done sir!" ZM5 said, before he practically bounced away.
The mayor's quarters and Auze's quarters have been excavated, now all that remains is to smooth them over and add furniture to them. Nuku, supposedly gaining an incredible knowledge about how to fracture stone from making her artifact, busily smoothed over the rooms with the speed of a ten koopa team.
After watching the stray hunting manectric whimper in the barracks for weeks waiting for the fighters to return he decided to adopt it, mostly out of pity but also because he wanted some protection so the first wild thing to walk by the fort didn't tear his throat out. He named it Nokoopi Purplevaults, not even Mottled Petrel understood why he chose that name.
For about the third time that month, Auze mandated the construction of a singular figurine, 'If it wasn't such an easy mandate to fulfill I would tell him to make his own damn figurines. You know what, I should probably make a jail so that when he has a hissy fit he can chain up someone instead of beating them to death.' "Hey Nuku, could you make me a bunch of copper chains and cages please? We're going to need a lot of them for the new cavern base.".
Spooky, organ based carnival music can be heard in the distance as a
Grimm performance troupe crests a faraway hill and begins to saunter over to the entrance of Modded Hell. Instead trapeze artists, jugglers, clowns, or even bards, the troupe was comprised
ENTIRELY of poets.
Before the majority of them had even made it inside, they were already talking the ears off of anyone who was polite enough to allow them. A good majority of them were having a ball telling some of their latest works to Scourge, who was going through one of his phases where he didn't acknowledge the existence of anything other than himself, so he was unable to tell them to go away. The two tomtenisse living at the fort sensed that about half of the koopas present were about to strangle the visiting poets, so they quickly ushered them away to the relative safety of the tavern.
At the end of the long line of poets was the returning Cunning Citadels, who were busy laughing rowdily with some of the poets. Having been gone for months again, it would appear that they had stopped at a tavern or similar site and managed to convince an entire performance troupe to come back with them to Modded Hell. Mottled Petrel was less than pleased, he was about to ask KoopaUnknown for an explanation, but was instead handed a piece of paper with the word '
REpoRt' hurriedly scrawled on the top.
After them came another slew of visitors, this time at least they were mercenaries.
Lord_lemonpie stopped to give Mottled Petrel some more information "Each of the fighters killed one forumech drone, while the laser-ceratosaurs killed several forumites. This time we stole not only three backpacks, but also two waterskins. Those are being placed in the main stockpile. All these guys were at one of the towns we stopped at on the way back, after partying with them for a while someone asked where we were from, and after some explanation we've moved the party here. I-" one of the ninjas poked his head out of the tavern door, turning the dull thumping of music into a deafening roar of drunk partying "
COME ON LORD_LEMONPIE, YOU'RE MISSING THE KEG STAND COMPETITION!" Lord_lemonpie managed to keep his composure, but definitely looked a little embarrassed that he was being called to party in front of his boss "Uh, excuse me sir, I'm needed for a... training exercise.".
And with that, Mottled Petrel was left alone in the hallway with his report as half the fort decided to join the rave as well. One of the ninjis ran by, shirt off with his electric guitar slung over his moderately chiseled physique. Mottled Petrel stopped him "Keep an eye on that crowd, don't let them break or steal anything, and when this is all over and the hangovers have passed I want the Cunning Citadels sent straight to my office. Got it?" the ninji nodded and continued running for the tavern, tuning his electric guitar on the way. When the ninji opened the door to the tavern KoopaUnknown stuck his head out, Mottled Petrel hoped that he was going to give an explanation "Ah, Mottled Petrel, I want you to make two zerrated dizkz, on the double.".
Mottled Petrel stood there for a few moments after KoopaUnknown shut the door again, watching the visitors still trickle into the fort, before he shook his head and put in a work order for 2 large serrated disks. One of the visitors stopped before they made it to the tavern, a tomtenisse "Hey man, your guys really talked this place up, mind if I live here?" "Why the hell is it only tomtenisse who want to live here, and poets at that? Why don't any of your kind want to fight here at least?" Mottled Petrel snapped back "...So is that a noooo?" the tomtenisse asked, totally dodging the question.
Mottled Petrel sighed, and buried his face in his hands "No, you can live here, just please try to make yourself useful.".
Above the fort, a horrible explosion can be heard, followed by the hiss of steam and the thunder of heavy rain caused by the sudden drastic increase in humidity. "
Oh for fucks sake, our first invasion and the fighting force is busy guzzling bear and hitting on forumite poets? I swear to-" Mottled Petrel stormed off to the tavern and began beating on the door. Wags answered it, visibly drunk out of his mind and in the process of lifting the tavern's chest over his head as a party stunt "
Ayyyyyy, Molded *hiccup*
Patral, it's good to see you buddy. Hey, could you bring us some more dip, we're already out.". Mottled Petrel looked back with obvious agitation as he looked into the tavern to see that the rest of the military was already in a similar state "
Put that chest down, get your gear on, take a fucking piss if you have to, but I want all of you out on the surface NOW! There's a megabeast up there that seems intent on destroying everything we hold dear. Tell your 'guests' that your needed before I send them all home." Wags blinked groggily a few times "Alright man, I'll go get them.".
Wags closed the door, and after an agonizingly long time some loud arguing was heard before the militia sullenly walked out to get their gear. Mottled Petrel tapped his foot in agitation, as the slow plodding of the monster outside slowly picked up its pace, followed by a really annoying sound akin to a steam whistle. By the time the militia was successfully armed and in position on the surface, the volcanion was still reasonably far away, but still incredibly intimidating and surrounded in steam. Rainbowdashfanboi84, in complete symmetry to all the other times her squad was called upon to kill something, decided that she was going to spend the next four hours picking the proper provisions for the fight, and was not present on the surface when the scuffle broke out. Before it did, KoopaUnknown cried out "Could it be? Is that Glowingcoaztal the lobzter of flamez? I'll have hiz head mounted over my bed!", and then charged the beast alone.
Before he can get there, the volcanion spewed a torrent of boiling water, instantly killing some of the frogogs that were present nearby. Angered by the death of its friends, the laser-spino that Mottled Petrel
totally forgot to move to another pasture had strategically placed in the pasture with the forgogs let loose an earsplitting cry of rage and charged the volcanion, far outpacing KoopaUnknown. The volcanion released a further protective aura of steam as the laser-spino began its attack, and quickly had most of its bones broken by the volcanion. Lord_lemonpie was the next on the scene, both trying to save the laser-spino and use it as a distraction to kill the volcanion. Unable to see because of the blinding superheated steam, no one besides the volcanion is able to land a hit. Most of the damage is done to the laser-spino, but Set receives a nasty kick to the first left lower arm, ripping the muscle through the armor. After that, the fight was lost in a burst of steam, but the alarmingly high amount of blood being sprayed from within the cloud was disconcerting.
Eventually, the battle behind the cloud of steam goes silent, and eventually cleared away. three of the army koopas were crowded around something, and Wags stood atop the corpse of the mighty beast, chainsaw still embedded in the ragged, steam leaking flesh where the volcanion's head used to be. He stood there, weeping. The laser-spino moaned in pain and coughs up bits of bone from the puddle of its own blood that it was been left to die in, its body barely held together by sinew alone. If given immediate medical attention it might have survived, but it would be a vegetable for the rest of its life with the amount of motor nerves that had been severed. Surgery on animals was strictly prohibited by koopa law, so the chances of that bleak future occurring at all were minimal anyways.
What was more pressing was the fact that the battered koopas were now picking up the corpses of the koopas who had been lost in the battle, Set and Nokopok to be exact.
They would receive an honorable burial in due time, but the injuries of the surviving koopas were more pressing. KoopaUnknown had cuts all over his arms and head, and his right cheek had somehow been both torn to shreds and melted by the steam to form a horrid wound that would provide him with great 'how I got this scar' stories. Lord_lemonpie was unscathed, and so was rainbowdashfanboi 84 who did not partake in the battle, and TheRedWolf who was either incredibly good at dodging or had completely missed the fight in the steam cloud. Wags, who had began tearing at the beast's corpse in rage, had copious amounts of blood spraying from the wounds on her arms, denoting the fact that she had had some artery damage. They all quickly scurried off the hospital to receive their treatment from the all too willing Chief Medikoopa Urlance Woolsbane.
As if to break the awkward silence that fell upon the fort (Other than the thumping of music still going on in the tavern) Auze and Eris decided to team up to mandate the construction of 3 figurines and the ban of the export of beds. Speaking of which, Eris didn't seem at all bothered by the death of her husband, Mottled Petrel inquired as to why this was so, "He'll be back" was all that Eris said, before she walked outside to survey the carnage (Eris didn't even receive the 'feels nothing after having a loved one die' message after
hauling her fucking husband to the corpse pile, this woman's fucking metal as hell). Coming down the ramp was Pikalord, carrying something in his arms "
Hope there's more room in there doc, we've got another medical emergency!" "What happened?!" Mottled Petrel yelled back, fearing the worst.
Pikalord revealed that he was carrying an ornitholestes that had a small red welt on one of his arms "One of my babies has been stung by a savage wild bee! He needs medical attention, stat!". Mottled Petrel walked up to Pikalord, stared him in the eye for a moment, and then punched him square in the face, causing him to fall to the floor "
WE'VE JUST LOST TWO GOOD KOOPAS, AND THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE WE MIGHT LOOSE TWO MORE, AND YOU'RE UPSET THAT A DINOSAUR WITH 30 SOMETHING RELATIVES JUST OUTSIDE OUR DOOR HAS BEEN STUNG!? GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I MAKE YOU SWALLOW THE REST OF THE HIVE!" Mottled Petrel roared. Pikalord looked genuinely offended and saddened that no one cared about the dinosaur, and that Mottled Petrel had raised his voice in such a way. But knowing when to pick his battles, he walked back outside to place the dinosaur back in its pasture.
Mottled Petrel sighed, and looked around to see Enemy Post busily preparing the volcanion's head to be mounted on the wall of the barracks and ZM5 busily butchering the body. Butchering might not be the correct word for what was going on, ZM5 was more dissecting it and jotting down all manners of diagrams in his journal than carving up the beast for consumption. Not long after Mottled Petrel began watching, ZM5 pulled a small glowing blue machine out of the volcanion's shredded chest "
The steam core" he whispered just a little bit too loudly to himself "
With this, I'll be able to power-" in the process of raising it over his head to state the sheer value of his discovery, ZM5 noticed Mottled Petrel watching and cut himself off. He quickly tucked the small machine into his shell, and walked away with volcanion blood dripping out of the bottom of his shell and steam coming out of the top.
Nuku approached Mottled Petrel with a piece of paper with a drawing on it "I'd like to use this engraving to memorialize our fighters".
"A fitting engraving for worthy heroes, I expect them to be mastercraft engravings" Mottled Petrel said, and dismissed Nuku.
A tomtenisse bard approached Mottled Petrel.
Mottled Petrel screamed, before curling up into a sobbing ball on the floor.
---
So, a number of things that came up during this:
1. The Cunning Citadels came back almost simultaneously to both the performance troupe and the giant wave of visitors, further cementing my theory that they just go out and party when I send them to raid.
2. At one point I noticed that one of the killed koopas had their neck kicked off
and they still kept fighting, seeing as I slapped together this modpack before I had a decent idea how bodies and body detail plans worked I can only imagine how much I fucked up the raws.
3. Turns out when an animal continuously engulfs itself in a cloud of gas it becomes nigh impossible to actually land a hit on, but once you manage to incapacitate it somehow it's as weak as a little kitten.
4. That volcanion had an incredibly long (and oddly fitting) title, I'd like it if someone looked for it in legends mode to see what caused it to get such a long title.
5. The only fucking people who want to live in this fort are tomtenisse bards, we've got about five of them now.
6. Don't worry, I'm getting around to making the giant fucking traps I've been sent, but making the traps in the cave entrance are the current priority.
7. I'm not going to be able to play for a few weeks, so I'm going to upload the most recent save so that you all can entertain yourself while I'm gone. I would appreciate it if your share your findings here and report any of the major game breaking bugs that might just casually pop up.
http://dffd.bay12games.com/file.php?id=13680Go Crazy.
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Topic: The Resurgence of Modded Hell (Back, Still Broken, Now With Giant Butterflies) (Read 301235 times)