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[Greatness942]

((Alright, I'll just put all the reels in some spoilers, if that's alright with everyone. It'll make it easier for CA to actually do stuff with my action, then.))

Spoiler: Slot 1-Mutators (click to show/hide)

BLOODY SCREEN SO REAL!: Reduced movement speed, but wounds regenerate.
Moonwalker: Low Gravity.
Too. Much. Caffeine.: Double the firing speed of weapons.
Bloody Mess: Enemies explode into gore when they die.
Green is Turbo: Movement speed is increased.
Gunfinity: Gunlimited ammo.
Wing and a Prayer: All players can now fly.
Birthday Party: Enemies explode into...explosions when they die.
Dog Whistle: Enemies become confused.
Grease is the Word: Friction is disabled.
Find the Antidote: All players are poisoned, making health slowly drain.
Reelism 64: Superman 64 fog everywhere.
iReelism: Touchscreen controls obstruct player vision.
Blind Skull: No HUD. Adapt as you please.
Hyperpower: Superweapons from each weapon class have a chance of spawning.
Mentally Retardant: Immunity to fire.
Quad Damage: ...It's...It's Quad Damage. That's it.
Blood Money: Instead of blood, wounding enemies makes them spill out money.

Spoiler: Slot 2-Weapons (click to show/hide)

Retro Rockets: Wolfenstein 3-D Weapons (Superweapon: The Spear of Destiny)
My Tank is Fight: All players are now in a tank for the duration of the round. (Superweapon: Super-Tank)
Porkchop Sandwiches: Fire weapons spawn. (Superweapon: Unknown. I haven't encountered it yet.)
Nevermore: Weapons from the game Raven spawn. (Superweapon: I don't know the exact name, but it's a staff that summons friendly Ghosts)
Crate Shower: Mystery Boxes spawn, containing weaponry, armor, medkits, and live PK-ing grenades! (Superweapon: Giant crates that have a chance of carrying the Holy Stone. Throwing the Holy Stone at a boss makes...stuff happen. I'll tell you if it does.)
NRG: Energy Weapons spawn. (Superweapon: The BFG 9000)
This is my Boomstick!: Shotguns spawn. (Superweapon: Explosive Shotgun)
BLAU: Explosive weapons. (Superweapon: Unknown as of now)
Melee Masters: Melee weapons like a drill, a home-run bat, and the Master Sword spawn. (Superweapon: Unknown)
Famine: No weapon drops. (Superweapon: ...NOTHING.)
Blue Magic: Enemy weapons spawn. (Superweapon: A deadly Bee Weapon based on the Dog Pope's attack. Bees. My God.)
Bullet Hoses: Automatic Weapons. (Superweapon: Unknown)
Dog Mode: Become an invincible Demi-Dog that can kill enemies with a charged bark. (Superweapon: The bark now spawns allied Dogs.)
Mad HACX: Weapons from HACX spawn. (Superweapon: Unknown)
Sector Effectors: Duke Nukem 3-D weapons spawn. (Superweapon: Unknown)
Crapshoot!: Unreliable weapons spawn. (Superwapon: Unk-Dwonn)
Has-Beens and Never-Weres: Weapons from the Betas and Prototypes of the games featured. (Superweapon: Unknown)
Bomber, Man: Grenades spawn. (Superweapon: Unknown)

Spoiler: Slot 3-Monsters (click to show/hide)

Friendship is Tragic: Harmless, neutral Bronies spawn en mass.
Imp My Ride: Doom Imps spawn.
Night of the NPCs: Peasants from the game Strife spawn. Hostile Peasants.
Optical Invasion: Floating eyes that shoot lasers spawn.
Night of the Shooting Dead: Zombiemen and Zombie Sergeants from Doom spawn.
Order of the Hellish Empire: Hell Knights and Barons of Hell from Doom spawn.
They Were Robots: Modified armor from Strife with flamethrowers and laser guns spawn.
Jetpack Larry: Jetpack Larrys. 'Nuff said.
THE JERK COMETH: A giant, blue, invincible Pinky Demon from Doom spawns. An instant kill if touched, but it disappears after the round ends.
Dogged: Hostile puppers spawn.
Spooks and Kooks: Flying ghouls, chainsaw Zombies, and ghostly scientists spawn.
Renaissance Unclear: Knights and Archers spawn.
First Contact: Flame-throwing Aliens spawn.
Wolf3D Anniversary: Nazis spawn.
Quick Draw: Cowboys and Outlaws spawn.
What! About! Bob!: Friendly BOBs from Marathon come in to aid the player.
OH FUCK, SKELETONS!: Skeleton Warriors from some game and Revenants from Doom spawn.
Crudux Cruo: Cultists from Blood spawn.

Spoiler: Boss-a-nova (click to show/hide)

The World's Most Boringest Ghost: A spook or specter that fires plasma at you.
Dog Pope: A canine under the Great Papacy, the Dog Pope can bark bees at people. Bark bees.
El Cyberdemon: A Cyberdemon from Doom in a Sombrero with a fake mustache. Er, I mean: YOU'VE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE. DON'T LOOK IT UP.
Imp Tank: It's an Imp from Doom...in a tank. What else do you want me to say?
Ms. THE JERK: A mortal, yet more dangerous version of THE JERK. Appears as a giant pink Pinkie Demon from Doom.
Player 2: An exact copy of Doomguy, Player 2 has access to every single weapon in every reel. Good news is: He's just as mortal as the rest of us.
The Shapeshifter: A man in a blue suit who can become any other boss and use their attacks.
MacGuffin: The giant, green, fire-breathing King of the Hobos. Reelism is weird.
Mecha-Hitler: Wolf3D's final boss: A cyborg version of Staatmeister Hitler!
A Motherfucking Wizard in a Motherfucking Monster Truck: ...Yep.
Devil Driver: The Ultimate Revelation Machine. It's a cyborg version of the Devil that drives like a tank and blows you up to match.
The Guardian: A military defense robot ala Pacific Rim, except you're the Kaiju. In other words, spray and pray!
The Juggernaut: That floating thing what kicks your ass. A tank from Marathon that'll blow you sky-high if you're too slow.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

"Tonight, we battle, men! Ready! Aim! FIRE!"

Distract the Godmodder by throwing explosives at him, then have my army shoot their guns until  their clips run out of ammo at the Godmodder.

[Maximum Spin]

I have altered my action; pray I do not alter it further.

[bloop_bleep]

"Tonight, we battle, men! Ready! Aim! FIRE!"

Distract the Godmodder by throwing explosives at him, then have my army unload all their ammunition on the Godmodder.

You realize that the GM could just make the army take out their clips and drop them on the Godmodder?

[Mallos]

"Tonight, we battle, men! Ready! Aim! FIRE!"

Distract the Godmodder by throwing explosives at him, then have my army unload all their ammunition on the Godmodder.

You realize that the GM could just make the army take out their clips and drop them on the Godmodder?

Don't give them IDEAS.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

i edited it i guess

[Gwolfski]

Spawn in as an assistant on the godmodders flagship. Greytide the ship

(( reference for people unfamiliar with ss13 http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/VideoGame/SpaceStation13 ))

[consumptiveAbsolutist]

Summon the REELism slots to create some weapons, mutations, and new enemies for the Player's Club. Sorry, guys, it's part of the mod.

((Basically, Reelism is a Doom mod in which you survive five rounds with randomized mutators, weapons and enemies. Rounds last sixty seconds, if that means anything. You can use a dice roller to roll d18s to actually spin the different slots. I think that'd be a cool thing to do. Also, every sixth round, there's a boss fight. I'll just link to the Manual for that.))

The Slots
Bosses.

Reality gains some extra REELism!

Dodge my way out of the player's club, and out of the Godmodder's basement. Dodge all the incoming lag.
Dodge into reality's control room and deactivate HP, meaning everyone starts using Chunky Salsa rules! I expect much more death.
Also download some more RAM while I'm here so the lag stops.

Reality loses the function of HP! The Godmodder, too slow for your ultimate dodge speed, slinks behind you to break the lever! RIP HP: ? - 2k17.

Insulated from the consequences of the lag, use my newfound ability to move faster than anyone else to run circles around the Goodmodder army and kill them all! Then eat their souls!

Then, remove CONSEQUENCE INSULATION and wrap it around CONSEQUENCES.

Next, sing a requiem for Rebecca, finally finishing my soul-eating song... to feast on [bloop_bleep's (see below)] Alternate Spin's soul and extract the secret of godmoding, which I hide deep within myself where nobody can find it!
(sorry bloop I'll revive you and make you my prophet again I promise)
♩And in the centre of the storm♫
♪A darker spirit taking form♬

♪Sings lamentations that overwhelm the human ear♩
♬As love and fear♫
♫Crumble in the sound of silence.𝄽

With the power of godmoding, become invulnerable to good feelings forever.

"Now to reballllance my qi..."

Holding Longinus in my right hand, split my essence into two parts; the left half descends into the void of False Heaven and returns to the Tree of Life – I have indeed been there before, since the 40,000-leaved lotus surrounding the mortal Earth is identical with Malkhuth, root of the Tree of Life – to cross Tiferet from left to right, reflecting its portion of the yin charge I obtained from Longinus into an equal yang charge. This half, now known as Clockwise Spin, enters the world again to stand near the other half, Anticlockwise Spin (respectively s=+½ and s=-½ for short) — very careful to avoid touching.

Alternate Spin points at all of the actions that you do below!

You lightly tap the Goodmodder army, causing them to explode into giblets! You then remove the CONSEQUENCE INSULATION, and wrap it around CONSEQUENCES, which are currently in your eyes. The Godmodder lightly taps you, and gives you a thumbs up. You then cause yourself to be unable to feel good. If reality was not currently undergoing a lagspike, I'd suspect you'd be swamped by ascetics begging you for your secrets. Finally, you become two halves of a Spin.

Can someone explain what just happened?

The update isn't done, but the incoming MTV Cribs episode (brought to you from the Godmodder's basement!) should probably help. Nothing can explain this trainwreck of a forum game, though!

Also, Greatness, your links are broken. You should probably upload the files to a file-hosting service and then link to that.

UPDATE: The update is now done.

Ah, right. That is because the manual for Reelism (which is where I was linking to) is accessed through the game files. It's not indexed at all, basically meaning that it's technically Deep Web in the most literal sense of the term (non-indexed web pages)

I'm not sure what to do for that. Maybe I could use three or four spoilers and copy everything by hand? Would that be okay?

no i'll hang you for it

I think I got it. I'm in his basement. Along with all the other prisoners. So now he's bending over a hatch. He really shouldn't do that on the battlefield. Shove something long, with jagged edges or spikes into his backside. While I'm at it also shove him down the hatch. With explosives. All the prisoners who die will be fuel for the ritual that will bring Teletubbies into this world. Those things are fcking terrifying. Hopefully they'll tear the godmodder apart first.

You sacrifice the prisoners and the Godmodder to a hole! The Godmodder experiences 3% of a death. Fortunately? for you, the Godmodder has a high quality existence -- the type that you could never hope to attain! Why simply buy the Teletubbies, those glorious children of BARBATOS, from the hellstore when you can buy so much more! @TeletubbiesFact summoned. May your souls be sentenced to the immortal oblivion below.

Create a sharknado off the coast and make it start heading toward the godmodder's location.

Sharknado incoming!

Weep tears of joy at what my creation has become. Sacrifice my material body to ZOMBIETRON ∞, which has the added effect of preventing Maximum Spin from gaining my godmoding. Manufacture myself another body from the void.

You sacrifice your material body to ZOMBIETRON ∞, causing it to become a Half-Godmoder.

which has the added effect of preventing Maximum Spin from gaining my godmoding.

WTF YOU WERE GOING TO GIVE IT TO ME ANYWAY



If you just... give me the godmoding first... I won't eat your soul, okay?

There's never a good reason not to eat someone's soul!

Kill Alternative Spin with a Stand rush from 2 Insects Over Heaven, protecting myself from any attacks with the Golden Fleece I wear as armor.

2 Insects Over Heaven? I only see a 3 Insects Over Heaven.

which has the added effect of preventing Maximum Spin from gaining my godmoding.

WTF YOU WERE GOING TO GIVE IT TO ME ANYWAY



If you just... give me the godmoding first... I won't eat your soul, okay?

Well, I was going to give it to you anyway, but that was because I assumed I would've still been the Leader of the New World Order and thought that me having two awesome titles would be unfair. Now that my zombie/snake golem-hybrid has that title, I'm keeping the godmoding for myself, since otherwise I'm essentially completely powerless (given that aforementioned zombie/snake golem-hybrid has a mind of its own now).

EDIT:
Additional action:
Lure ZOMBIETRON ∞ into attacking James Mattis's mech by coating the latter with human flesh.

ZOMBIETRON ∞ aggrieves James Mattis' mech, causing it to break into little shards.

"Subhuman scum, I don't think you understand my power! I am beyond human, motherfucker, not constrained to this puny flesh body!"

James Mattis punches the ZOMBIETRON ∞! It begins to turn into giblets, golden light pouring from it. The sigil of the ouroboros bursts from its body, before it expunges its status as Godmoder into James Mattis!

Ah, but, once you are my prophet again, you will have the Divine Mandate and the peoples of the world will have no choice but to fall behind you as rightful King.

* if

Ah, but, once you are my prophet again, you will have the Divine Mandate and the peoples of the world will have no choice but to fall behind you as rightful King.

How about this:

Give exactly half of my godliness to Maximum Spin. Together we shall defeat the vile Godmodder!

If I was anymore of a Gruesome Murderer, I could have had ZOMBIETRON and then James Mattis become a full Godmoder, causing Sp-in to get nothing due to the wonders of turn order. If I did that, I'd probably be killed the moment somebody noticed I was on the battlefield.

Anyway, Spin's a half-god with powers over void. This will go well.

I will accept this and do not currently intend to feast on bloop_bleep's soul.

bloop_bleep, watch your back.

* Wills himself out of goat form and all that time making a flesh mecha suit from fallen angels he killed.*

You stop being a goat, and make a flesh mecha suit from dead fallen angels! I stop the update for a second to admire just how cool that sounds.

((Alright, I'll just put all the reels in some spoilers, if that's alright with everyone. It'll make it easier for CA to actually do stuff with my action, then.))
-snip-

hanged

REELs noted and ready to be used at the end of this turn!

"Tonight, we battle, men! Ready! Aim! FIRE!"

Distract the Godmodder by throwing explosives at him, then have my army shoot their guns until  their clips run out of ammo at the Godmodder.

The Godmodder uses his telekinetic powers to move the explosives above your army! They're too busy shooting the explosives away (real things that you can actually do) to shoot the Godmodder!

I have altered my action; pray I do not alter it further.

Noted, though I didn't actually see the original.

"Tonight, we battle, men! Ready! Aim! FIRE!"

Distract the Godmodder by throwing explosives at him, then have my army unload all their ammunition on the Godmodder.

You realize that the GM could just make the army take out their clips and drop them on the Godmodder?

Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

I say that to you in person, as a reminder that I'm currently in the Godmodder's basement.

"Tonight, we battle, men! Ready! Aim! FIRE!"

Distract the Godmodder by throwing explosives at him, then have my army unload all their ammunition on the Godmodder.

You realize that the GM could just make the army take out their clips and drop them on the Godmodder?

Don't give them IDEAS.

Give me all of your IDEAS.

i edited it i guess

You guess?

Spawn in as an assistant on the godmodders flagship. Greytide the ship

(( reference for people unfamiliar with ss13 http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/VideoGame/SpaceStation13 ))

You completely ruin the Godmodder's cool and new interdimensional flagship. He cries about this so hard that he becomes 1% closer to death.

X
Friction suddenly ceases to exist in the Godmodder's basement! I hope you enjoy getting lacerated when one of his abominations casually flicks a blade across your skin.

basements are clean and healthy places that you should live in
FUNDRAISER TO KILL THE GODMODDER: $1,100. Ends on [31/10/17].

Spoiler: Player Club (click to show/hide)

Clockwise Spin + Anticlockwise Spin. Half-Godmoder. INSULATED CONSEQUENCES. Carrying Longinus, a microphone. Feel Good Inc: [23/10/17].
Greatness942. 「Thoth」.
bloop_bleep.
Mallos, the Great Goatsby
Puppyguard: In the fifth dimension, with the Godmodder's brother.
Tyrant Leviathan / 1 Therion. QLIPHOTH-Suit.
Godzilla. Possessed by Zultan. Carrying a really big gun. 「My Only Gun God」.
Secheral.

Egan_BW: Holy Thorn Knight. Royalty.

ZOMBIETRON ∞.
The Grim Reaper.
Alternate Maximum Spin.
James Mattis. Half-Godmoder.

Gelding Men's Union.
Starkiller Base.
Army Loyal Only to Me.

@TeletubbiesFact / the Devil.
consumptiveAbsolutist.

The Godmodder. 36% dead.
Days Left: 17. [11/07/17]

[Egan_BW]

Ubercharge consumptiveAbsolutist.
Dodge anyone trying to fuck with me in any way, even if it's supposedly beneficial. In fact, as a standing order dodge everything that comes my way.

[Maximum Spin]

Stand on either side of Egan_BW and spark him with a tiny bit of each of my qi charges, empowering him to Egan_BW.

[Secheral]

Welp, I'm outta here. Run away from the devils before they eternally imprison me in their bellies of pure nothing. Call the unicorn and make him send his suicide/reform squad of degenerates to save me if I don't make it. Gather air while running.

[TalonisWolf]

Welp. I created a disloyal army, now I must destroy them before someone tries to become the "Goodmodder". Poison the Goodmodder Army's Rations.

[Maximum Spin]

Oh, by the way, you can easily determine what my post originally said: just remove the italicised "Alternate Spin's" and replace it with the bracketed and struck-out "bloop_bleep's", and unstrike the struck portion below.

[Egan_BW]

Arrest Maximum Spins' Spin, making him Minimum Spin.

[Mallos]

Spoiler: My Action (WARNING: LARGE IMAGES) (click to show/hide)