Paddywagon Man's Goldsilver Journal, Part 3: Broken Limbs and Broken Dreams
(Alternate Title: A Particularly Bad Day for Mottled Petrel)
The trading is finished. I buy some sheets of paper, some anvils and steel, and the two miltank from the caravan. The outpost speardwarf gives me a little encouragement as he leaves.
He's right. We junta types have to stick together, prop each other up. Buoyed by this show of support, I start barking orders like the badass spearbaroness I am.
Listen up ya chumps! This fort is on bracelet mode until further notice! I'm gonna cram junta-approved charm bracelets on every appendage you have and you're gonna say THANK YOU PADDYWAGON MAN
Between the doors and the bracelets, we're running out of stone, a bit of an oddity in an underground fortress.
Mechanic's workshop, hmm? Nice to hear, hopefully we'll get something useful.
Even in stone, he has a lovely rear...
I come to the realization around this point that although we have a rather impressive dining hall, we lack an actual tavern. I tell the dwarves to get taverning already, the stuff's all there already. "What should we name it, boss?" Asks one simple-minded dwarf. I tell him to name it whatever he wants as long as it has booze.
Great job Urist.
We've captured an Abra and a Venipede! Anyone who wants the Abra can take it. Meanwhile Mottled Petrel and I are at something of a standoff over the Bug/Poison Venipede.
At about this time comes the first serious pokemon attack! A particularly nasty Mismagius kills two roggenrola before jumping one of our lye makers in a short but bloody battle.
The victorious dwarf ambles off to the hospital for a fixup, leaving the cage he'd been hauling behind. I take a quick look to see what it was.
Looks like this Mismagius wasn't after the dwarf after all, it just had some sort of Roggenrola vendetta and our dwarf was in the way. Chilling.
Asmel finishes his construction, an artifact mechanisms covered in seditious anti-junta propaganda. I have him beaten soundly during the night, but I do thank him for his contribution to fort security.
More mangled limbs in the cavern, this time with magnets! I'm starting to regret my earlier complaints about how quiet Goldsilver was.
That one magneton is leaving a trail of crippled dwarves in its wake.
Now Butterflies are beating people up too! Yeesh! I order the militia to deploy.
Birdy goes to town both above ground and up in the caverns. He's a very angry dwarf. Those two Magnetons he knocked unconscious were both hovering over the magma pit at the time, so I don't think they'll ever be waking up. The medical dwarves start patching people up and I breathe a sigh of relief.
Then a Garchomp starts absolutely mangling Zefermcdwarfpants. Come on caverns! Stop it!
Zefer? Are you ok?
The Garchomp moves on to another victim as Zefer lies prostrate and bleeding. The militia is again deployed. The hospital is running at just about maximum capacity now.
I kill the Garchomp in a mighty battle that will be immortalized in junta propaganda forever. Atir, meanwhile, gets sidetracked and runs into a pack of Joltik. It's not pretty.
Sorry Mottled Petrel...
The deaths of all these Joltik threaten to exacerbate a tense situation in Pocketball. Two rival armies of Electric-types - Mottled Petrel's Joltik Squad and Maximum Spin's Mareep Mafia - have been on the verge of war for weeks now. The Mareep Mafia might see this Joltik massacre as a sign of weakness on Mottled Petrel's end and attack.
Then everything is changed by the arrival of a third army of electric type in the caverns. The fucking Eelektrik are back. And this time it's for real.
HA HA! The old Pocketball special! Eelektriks breaking spines in the dead of night! Why, it makes me feel like an - oh shit wait a minute.
AZALEA?
Those bastards killed our only Armorer!
I order a large-scale military deployment. Meanwhile Mottled Petrel is having troubles of his own.
Poor guy. First it was Birdy shooting up the Butterfrees, then it was Atir slaughtering Joltik. He's had a rough time of it. Well, once he's out of hospital I'll give him the Venipede. That should make him feel better.
Shit.
Thankfully, Birdy's made it to the scene to beat back the hordes of Eelektrik, wearing his first victim as a gruesome trophy. It's uncanny - we have 25 militia dwarves and yet Birdy is consistently the first on scene and gets all the kills. He's a very angry dwarf.
BONKBONKBONKBONKBONK
With the Eelektrik all slain, Birdy wipes their foul blood from his crossbow and goes to take a nap. More dwarves flood into the cavern to collect the many wounded and the two dead. We did cage one Eelektrik though. I don't know whether to train the evil beast as a weapon or sacrifice him to Armok in honour of Azalea and Mottled Petrel.
ANIMAL TRAPS! WE'RE GONNA TRAP IGGLYBUFF UNTIL YOU SLACKERS CAN BUILD ME A PALACE OUT OF THEM! THANK YOU PADDYWAGON MAN!!!!!
More wimpy mandates from the king. It takes a speardwarf to make a real mandate.
Zefer? Are you okay?
He's been discharged from the hospital but he's clearly not better. Come on Skeletal! Either fix him up or put him out of his misery! He's lowering morale!
Meanwhile, Professor FirePhoenix11 discovers an interesting breed of pokemon down in the caverns. An Exploud! Fascinating species. Perhaps it's friendly?
SHIT
The beast starts beating up the professor and an unfortunate dartrix. You've got this professor! Kick him with your right foot!
Oh dear... well, you still have arms! Punch him!
This has been a downright nasty year at Pocketball. See you for the next update, with 100% more burning to death!
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Topic: But You Still Gotta Catch 'Em All - Succession Pokemon Fortress of Goldsilver (Read 78992 times)