It's that time again folks, time for me to fuck up every part of what was a pretty functioning fort in my quest to defend it. Cast your votes, who's going to die first.
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Entry 4: Where Mottled Petrel covers the fort in a tidal wave of blood and floods everything else.
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After the killing of the elves the 'mayor' decided that it would be a good idea for more maces to be made. I '
might' get around to doing it. It also turns out that that stoneworker who got his ribcage and legs destroyed didn't make it... one less potential warrior.
Wat?...
Uh...
I guess we have a new king now? No reason has been supplied as to why the king has been replaced, or why this guy is now the new king, but everyone seems to be okay with it, so... I guess I'll move the room designations around.
It seems that the new king already owns the throne room... On another note, the corpse pit has been dug, it's been a logistical nightmare pointing out every individual tooth and toe nail for dumping.
It seems that I was a bit over zealous with my moat digging, I'll patch this up as soon as possible, can't have any potential breaches in security.
Alright, why did everyone decide to channel out all of the surrounding ponds to spill directly into the fort. "THOTHIIIIL! DID YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS?".
At least people are liking the king size shower they're getting as they walk up the stairs. I can tell that no one here was washed in years, because there is a literal pile of filth and blood that is growing at the foot of the main staircase where the water is now collecting.
Maximum Spin decided it was a good idea to connect the moat to the river early, and is now floundering at the bottom of the now filling moat.
God, how much blood was plastered all over these people, I'm starting to think that accidentally flooding the fort was a good idea.
All right, this is getting out of hand. I'm ordering a few reservoirs dug to try to sap up some of the extra water so that we can try to get this going a little bit smoother. I'm not going to connect it until to the moat until it is completely dug out.
OH GOD DAMMIT! Oh boy, migrants, everyone pick up a pick and get into the moat. Please, take a minute to luxuriate in our patented full body shower/spa with natural rejuvenating oils and red shampoo.
Novice swimmer, good, hopefully that'll do you good. Ironically, almost all of the migrants claimed to be novice swimmers. I might start a professional swimming team if any of these new guys actually survive. Actually, all of them (20 or so) were novice swimmers, very convenient, and a little concerning.
I have no idea what is going on anymore, somewhere along the line a tree got dropped on one of the miners in the trenches. It hit him a glancing blow in the leg, and caused him to throw up. I'm not a doctor, but I generally know where the innards are. I don't think the stomach is located in the leg. I should really get out of these waterlogged trenches and get some sleep. Some sleep in the dirty waterlogged fort.
We really need to get this moat under control, if any enemies come now we're all fucked.
This reservoir is already the worst hack job I've ever done in regards to anything, I might as well make it massive to over compensate for this.
Just what we needed, a giant feathered snake appearing in the one cavern layer with
NO DEFENSES! I'm not even going to hope that the snake wanders away from the nonexistent door, it was spotted appearing right next to it, so I'm just going to send the army down there. Have fun guys.
As I expected, the snake is making a b-line to the entrance, I'm ordering some coffins made in response. An unfortunate shearer is the first one to be caught in the line of carnage, luckily, this shearer was farther down the staircase. The viper takes joy in sticking the shearer with its horn like a pincushion. A swampert also arrives at the scene, and manages to fracture the snake's upper spine. He dies shortly after.
A gengar is next, and succesfully hits the viper with confuse ray. The viper is unamused, and proceeds to tear the fuck out of the gengar. As this happens they somehow manage to fight their way back up the stairs and back into the entrance area to the caverns.
Uhh, smoke is now coming off of the forgotten beast. It is either on fire, or is literally seething with rage. Before I can even have the time to wonder about what the hell was happening the 'mayor' gets there, it appears he was finally able to tear his attention away from his ever important 'mayor' duties to actually respond to a fort threat for once. But the 'mayor' refused to actually use his weapon, instead opting to punch the snake, doing little more than bruising the scale while another fighter desperately tried to poke for his life with his copper spear. Damn, I need to make these guys some better weapons.
Finally, after a lot of prancing around the battle field, the 'mayor' feels like he should actually do something other than just being dirty and old and slits the snake's throat in one clean slash. Sending a fire hose of livid blood spraying out into the hallway. Unfortunately, a snake can still bite with its head cut off, and this snakes head was still attached so it bit even more. After feeling that he had contributed enough to the battle, the 'mayor' went back to dicking around with the snake by slapping its tongue with the flat of his sword a few times, doing literally no damage. The speardwarf continued to frantically stab at the giant coiling beast in front of him, still spraying blood. A macedwarf had also arrived on the scene, but could do little more than bruise such a large and fleshy target. Nopal arrived at the scene as well, and decided to jump and land his death loving foot squarely in the right eye of the snake. The snake still seemed unamused, despite having most of its already simple body mostly destroyed.
One of the newer recruits decided it was a good idea to
JUMP INSIDE THE SNAKES MOUTH AND BITE ITS TONGUE!. The snake was much, much, much larger than he was, and could easily have swallowed him whole. This action also revealed that the snake's tongue was covered in scales for some reason. I'm not going to question evolution, but why the actual fuck was his tongue covered in scales. Another speardwarf, a certain Thob Vutoksarek, decided that he didn't want to see his fellow fighter be swallowed whole and slew the beast with a spear thrust to the brain...
I'm having some doors installed in that entry way, I don't want anymore giant, feathered, one horned seviper wandering in.
In other news, I managed to finally get people to board up the leak and things are now starting to dry out. The initial covering of blood the fort initially received is now exponentially worse. The blood is more widespread and on average 6 layers deep, with some areas reaching up to 10. Not only that, but the blood is unimaginably diverse in origin, I'm having people point out the blood of creatures I didn't even know had visited the fort. I still have yet to even connect the moat to the river, so there's still plenty of room for more flooding. I guess I've got that to look forward to, and it's only the 23rd of Slate.
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In my haste I seem to have flooded a good portion of the fort and coated it in several layers of blood, on the bright side it seems that the fort loved it and many people are a lot less stressed than they were. Even more so, I managed to clean all of the blood off of the people that were soaked in it. It's good that they're squeaky clean for a little while before they are inevitably turn back to being almost blood men. I don't care how many people die in the construction of this moat, I'm committed, it's going to be built even if the only thing still alive in this fort when I'm done are water types.
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Topic: But You Still Gotta Catch 'Em All - Succession Pokemon Fortress of Goldsilver (Read 79693 times)