The first major event to happen under my watchful authoritarian eye is a happy one. The first birth in Goldsilver! A newborn gabite!
Meanwhile Nopal's Ampharos is tending to an egg of its own, so we should soon have a second.
To celebrate this momentous occurrence I decide it's time to flex my administrative muscles and make a mandate. Not some pansy querns or anything, a real mandate.
MOTHER. FUCKING. DOORS. And lots of 'em. By the time this reign is done you guys are gonna be drowning in them. You're going to be lashing doors together to make rafts and using doors to paddle them through the sea of doors. The militia will wear doors and bludgeon our foes to death with doors. And you chumps are going to say "Thank you, Paddywagon Man, for being the Over
lordseer we didn't know we needed."
How's that for a mandate, Shidoni?
Meanwhile we got another cool pokemon in a cage. It's up for grabs if anybody wants it. We also have... lots of Joltik. Like six or something.
The first actually dangerous cavern attack happens. I remember back in Pocketball, Eelektrik kept breaking people's necks left and right. I remember this one tough-as-nails baby that crawled all the way from the caverns to the surface after a Muk killed his mom and crippled him. Dwarves were DWARVES back in Pocketball. So stop crying, Asmel.
Speaking of Eelektrik, Birdy did a number on one because I wasn't able to trap any of the Pidgey or Oricorio that kept doing flybys. BONKBONKBONKBONK
While Birdy bludgeons eels with a ranged weapon, a very small migrant group shows up. We do get one really good furnace dude though.
At around this time, discipline within junta ranks breaks down. Nopal, being the militia commander and my boss, feels he would be a more natural choice for running a military dictatorship and clobbers me a good one with that mace of his.
My rulership is on shaky grounds here... Nopal is more senior, Beirus is a better fighter, and the Mareep Mafia is a real wildcard. The Ampharos egg hatched too, swelling their ranks.
Thankfully, the caverns provide an outside distraction to divert attention from my poor leadership. Big firebreathing worm of some sort. Does a number on a Roggenrola and lights another cavern fire to cover up the Infernape's cavern fire.
I scramble the marksdwarves, having plenty of experience with fire-breathing creatures and knowing how useless a close-quarters force is against them.
It climbs inexorably up the stairs as fortifications are hastily erected and our marksdwarves take their positions.
It's a long and epic battle. Ho hum, on to the next thing!
Some Mimikyu for Cole - wait nope. Lamer. Still, I'm sure we'll catch some if anybody wants to claim one.
Even dead people are unpleased with my leadership. Shut up ya bums! I can't hear you over Bearskie making MOTHER FUCKING DOORS
Still, things are quiet other than the restless, tormented dead. Too quite. I don't like it - I feel like at any moment
Goblins! All hands to battle stations!
I close the drawbridge as the militia is assembled.
Damn it, Birdy!
It's a small squad... looks like just a patrol or raiding party that stumbled across us by chance. But this whole world belongs to goblins - once they know where we are, they'll be relentless.
Unfortunately, as I see the militia assemble in front of me, I realize we're suffering from a severe equipment shortage. Not armor - I basically handled that earlier. But what I didn't realize at the time was that pretty much the only weapons we have are the low-grade maces we made to fulfill MCreeper's mandates. I guess Nopal's lack of an axe should have tipped me off. You goblins will have to wait for a minute! We'll be out just as soon as we have stuff to kill you with!
The goblins don't seem to mind. They're having an absolute ball murdering pikachus. Meanwhile Birdy wakes up and takes his position in the archery fortification palace I built on top of the barracks. I say palace because I also made myself some nice rooms and a personal church full of statues.
He kneecaps one goblin and leaves another gutshot and retching while the rest of us are sorting through armor pieces and freshly-smithed weapons.
AAAAAND it looks like not everybody made it in before the drawbridge closed. My bad. On the bright side he had no skills or friends, so it's no big loss.
my future obituaryThe unfortunate clothier gets a healthy dose of goblin justice. And then, just as the militia is finally equipped and the lever to lower the drawbridge is about to be pulled...
The goblins all leave.
Get back here you greenskins! We finally have our shit together! Get back here so we can kill you and people will take me seriously as a leader!
PLEASE
Aw shit they're gone.
Still, they left behind a prisoner. Junta justice time, to make up for the embarrassment. Hats off to Birdy though. MVP right there. Meanwhile one of the nobody herbalists starts babbling and gathering materials for another strange mood.
It better be a door this time, we've got querns and amulets enough for a hundred forts. Hey, isn't that the same guy that got beaten up by the Gabite? I think it is.
Autumn arrives, and with it the caravan. They bring two miltanks and a combusken. Come on you jerks! The elves did better!
The outpost liason doesn't seem to go by the title outpost liaison, considering himself a speardwarf instead. The junta is real.
Awful and covered in goblins? Sounds about right.
Anyways, that brings us to the end of this season, replete with anticlimaxes and general tomfoolery. There's a purrloin, a pikachu, 2 miltank, a combusken, and a roggenrola up for grabs, plus no end of pansage and joltik.
See you all this time next week for another exciting episode of Goldsilver