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[BlastoiseWarlorf]

Give the Green Man my best impression of hitting a home run, with his head as the ball

[Coolrune206]

Stop drop and roll. Make my movements erratic enough to make it difficult for cultists to beat me without catching on fire.

[crazyabe]

LUMP, PILLAR!!!!

[ATHATH]

[5] You run over and slap him right upside his silly green hat. A collective "OOOOOOOOOOOH!" comes from the cultists.

[4+1] He spins his way back to his feet, slapping the everloving shit out of you. The "OOH!" is much sharper this time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uhxrPhVO8Y

Teleport back to the hub area and despair over the loss of my natural flight, preferably in front of some bugs (if possible). Train my melodrama skill in doing so.

[DolosusDoleus]

HIGHER, THE LUMP MUST BECOME A PILLAR WHICH CAN BREACH THE HEAVENS.

You know what, now that I look back this is looking increasingly siggable...

[NRDL]

Put out fire on self by gathering it into one ball, then launch it at enemies.

[NJW2000]

Try to talk to the inhabitants, perhaps by yelling really loudly. If nothing works, enter.

[voliol]

Meta

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'll probably be inactive from this forum for a few days, due to life reasons, so continue to the next turn without waiting for me if that ever comes up.

[AbstractTraitorHero]

Suzume had been quietly resting underneath th golden shield this whole time. Honestly.....she probably dident have to do anything noir did she particuarly want to right now. She had been silent for the past few moments her eyes closed resting.

Lets practice my napping/Sleeping until something loud/something else wakes me up.

[IronyOwl]

Turn 9: Burn Baby Burn

Catch my breath. Scoot about in wheelchair looking for structural instabilities while doing so. Loudly complain about the lack of modern conveniences available.

[4] You notice several of the walls are a little patchy. Specific sections moreso than the whole wall, oddly. You could probably punch through one with... well, with a lot of effort, but still.

You rest and recover from all those sick wheelies you did to get here.

+1 Architecture
Now +2 Architect
No longer [Tired]

Save Karen entering to melee range and bashing a cultist in the back of the head with my rock.

[3] It's a little whiffy, but it gets the job done.

+1 Brawling
Now +2 Brawler
-1 Cultist

Give the Green Man my best impression of hitting a home run, with his head as the ball

[6] AND IT'S OUTTA HEEEEEEEERE!

Literally, you club him right back through the doors he came in from. The crowd goes wild.

+2 Clubs

Stop drop and roll. Make my movements erratic enough to make it difficult for cultists to beat me without catching on fire.

[1] You roll the flames around on yourself, spreading them even further. You're pretty sure that's not what that technique is supposed to do.

-1 HP
Now [Even More On Fire]

LUMP, PILLAR!!!!

[2] Somewhere something is laughing at you, you're sure of it.

Put out fire on self by gathering it into one ball, then launch it at enemies.

[1] You gather it into a ball, where it reignites you worse than before.

-1 HP
Now [Even More On Fire]

Try to talk to the inhabitants, perhaps by yelling really loudly. If nothing works, enter.

You yodel a bit, but they seem uninterested, so you enter. It's a madhouse inhabited by madmen, naturally.

Suzume had been quietly resting underneath th golden shield this whole time. Honestly.....she probably dident have to do anything noir did she particuarly want to right now. She had been silent for the past few moments her eyes closed resting.

Lets practice my napping/Sleeping until something loud/something else wakes me up.

You curl up on the cold wet stone floor surrounded by lightning and thunder and try to sleep. You've had better.


"This is utterly shameful," the voice from before admits. "Enter, challengers."

The cultists begin cheering, and usher everyone through the door and into what you assume is the main hall. It's massive, lined with feasting tables and lit by an assortment of dangerous-looking braziers, chandeliers, and torches. Oh, and the giant flaming pit in the middle, and what you assume are ovens off to the side, and come to think of it there's kind of a lot of metal spikes on the ceiling and walls. You're not sure this place is up to code at all.

At one end of the room, a rather large humanoid sits on a throne. The humanoid is rather well-muscled, with beige skin, no hair, a broad, toothy maw, and what looks like a crown of hornlets on his bald head. He's also wearing leather pants with a bunch of skulls and such dangling from the belt and not much else. The throne, meanwhile, looks like it's made of bone, with the back being several massive teeth or ribs.

You also catch the green man off to one side, cursing and cuffing cultists.

"Challengers," the throned figure says, obviously the voice you heard before but unamplified by whatever he was using to project it, "You are a shameful gaggle of cowards who has made a mockery of the challenge, but you have avoided death. Sit and eat."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Brian Keens (NJW)
[Sore]
+5 Identifier (0/5)
+3 Manager (0/3)
+2 Doomsayer (1/2)
+3 Climber (1/3)
+2 Seducer (1/2)
-
Hardened Climbing Spikes
Small Amounts of Rope
Crude Armor

Baeset Musre (OceanSoul)
+5 Mana Milker (0/5)
+3 Animal Handler (0/3)
+3 Stone Mage (1/3)

Ogneer (crazyabe)
+6 Earth Mage (0/6)
+3 Stoneworker (0/3)
-
Nice Pants
Assorted Rocks

Nar Azzar (Atomic)
+5 Life Mage (0/5)
+3 Metalworker (0/3)
+2 Stone Mage (0/2)
-
Metalworking Tools
Nice Bellows
Nice Backpack

Suzume (Abstract)
+5 Light Mage (1/5)
+3 Cartographer (0/3)
-
Mapping Tablets
Drawing Sticks
Backpack

The Dilettante (ATHATH)
[Gooskin]: Transluscent goo covers your musculature.
+5 Air Mage (0/5)
+3 Life Mage (0/3)

Fedelmid Cowhunter (voliol)
[Slightly Naked]: Who says this has a downside, again?
[Tie-Dye Colors]: Is this permanent?
5/5 HP
+5 Hunter (0/5)
+3 Leatherworker (0/3)

-In Structure-

Karen (Coolrune)
[Even More On Fire]
3/5 HP
+5 Stone Mage (1/5)
+3 Carbon Mage (0/3)
+3 Air Mage (2/3)
+2 Fire Mage (0/2)
-
Crude Armor
Rope

Nix (NRDL)
[Sore][Seeing Stars][Even More On Fire]
2/5 HP
+5 Pyromancer (2/5)
+3 Persuader (0/3)
+2 Climber (1/2)

Blu (Blastoise)
[Sore][Burn-Bashed][Savagely Beaten]
3/5 HP
+5 Aquamancer (0/5)
+3 Medic (0/3)
+2 Air Mage (1/2)
+2 Climber (1/2)
+4 Clubsman (2/4)
-
"Fruit"
Rope
Club

Sairian (Nirur)
[Facial Planter]: It's a long story, okay?
+5 Plant Mage (4/5)
+3 Agriculturalist (0/3)
+2 Brawler (0/2)

Mr. Jane Doe (Dolosus)
+5 Pyromancer (0/5)
+3 Demolitionist (0/3)
+2 Herbalist (0/2)
+2 Architect (0/2)
-
Smoldering Horror Torch

[Coolrune206]

"You are a shameful gaggle of cowards who has made a mockery of the challenge, but you have avoided death. Sit and eat."

((This is almost offensively siggable))

Use air magic to push all the air away from my body momentarily, hopefully immediately suffocating the fire. Except, y'know, don't keep it away too long.

Because I kinda breathe that stuff.

[BlastoiseWarlorf]

Take a seat at the table, examine the food. Speak aloud to the man on the throne:
"I single-handedly clubbed half your cultists into submission. I've never even swung a club before, and I'm the coward?"

[DolosusDoleus]

Sit down, but don't eat. Use highly refined old man senses to find any and all things suspicious about this situation.

[NJW2000]

Brian sighs, puts out any flaming teammates by beating them with... a rug? A chair? Something held at a distance to his body. Or just kicking them until they roll.

If the "being on fire" portion of the excercise is concluded quickly, he takes a seat next to the fellow in leather pants, and tries to find out what he'd like to have, and what he might trade for it.

[crazyabe]

KEEP TRYING, THAT I'LL GET THAT FUCKING TINY LUMP UP IF I HAVE TO BEAT IT MYSELF.