Err, he could be saying that because of the intensity of one person's posting--there was this new forumite who said that (and then moved onto religion), it could've affected DFNewb, and he could've posted that as a result. Just because certain behaviors, on part of reading, sensed that it's like [this certain label] doesn't mean that it is already there at the moment since there are many OTHER factors unsaid that affect the situation (also how things are presented usually aren't as clear cut in association). It's like, a person's past and context of their life is incredibly personal, and these experiences invoke reactions via behavior; behavior is adaptive to the situation, but outside the situation where it is appropriate, then it becomes maladaptive (possibly caused by really intense or otherwise life experiences) and may affect a person's perception and interactions.
So...that's a reasonable way to see it. He got called a woman hater and compared to the attitude of a rapist because of how he wrote the hate and the reactions he planned to do--that doesn't mean he'll do it or even will progress into it as something permanent, affixed, and pretty much against anything we say here. [that's a leap too far in association, even while the worry is with good intent] He gave context that to certain readers do give a lot of information, too. But what matters is him asking for help about it rather than just going off and continuing hate or otherwise. It's still on his part in the end on what to do about his actions and interactions, but what is important is him being informed too.
Personally, I like that he's taking feedback and not taking it badly--he may still have his coping methods, but that's nothing we can control--only our advice. I would make my bottom line, however, being pretty much advising going for professional help, as though context depends on the country and local laws for payment and other financial concerns (many a time though they offer it for free if you can't pay now), professional help will help the best. We can only go so far as to advise--it's on DFNewb to act on it (but support at the time of suggestion and the present time, also helps)
But if uncomfortable, asking others in the meantime is something to do, too. Because on the timeline of life, one doesn't always get connected with professionals in the profession to help, and there are gaps in between where worries can spike.
What I can suggest is to not focus a ton overtly on whether this person likes you or not, even in the context of romance, and be friends with them--the liking will grow over time. If they're not approaching you for romance, don't hate them. But what matters is you get to know them firsthand, and people's interactions too; you get your issues all ordered up and under control (especially if you notice your interactions having a really negative, general response in comparison, when you think about 'how would others react to this, too', in a general sense,). Check your beliefs too, as anything thought about in reasoning affects what'll be thought about later on.
Otherwise, for others also giving advice, there will be times where the one asking for it may come off as ignoring advice--still keep suggesting even though. They'll keep seeking if they can.
But yeah. Initially, you've got a template on how to gauge their reactions or actions to you. Modify it, instead of seeing it as an approach to the thing you don't want to say, DFNewb. Please listen to folks also advising you to look for help, because that's often the best way (also because the internet has a semblance of impersonality that often results in misinterpretations unless precise contextual knowledge on the part of us readers avoids that)
Author
Topic: My mom and sister think this girl likes me, thoughts? (Read 3832 times)