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[nenjin]

In American Medicine, patient care doesn't matter to the powers that be. Money does. Everything that can conceivably be done outpatient, or at the lowest level possible is. Physical therapy isn't automatic in a lot of things anymore, sadly, and neither is inpatient status. Thankfully, I have good insurance right now, or I'd be totally screwed. I am very grateful I could get any help. Without insurance, there is no way I could have afforded a medically necessary operation in the five figure price range.

I am honestly not sure what to ask my doctor for. Like I said, I have limited mobility in my right hip, and pain when the incision is stressed from bending that hip. Oddly, I also have a tender area above my belly button. This is actually fairly new and surprising, because the hernia was lower.

To be fair, it has only been 3 weeks since the surgery, but it's a little disconcerting.

Just tell your doctor your worried about losing mobility and/or weakness. (Hips are fuckin important man, they care all your weight and are part of most mobility) and you'd like to know what your options are. If he DOESN'T talk about PT after being prompted, either he's clueless or he doesn't think it's necessary, so push him on it.

And yeah, 3 weeks after a major surgery is not a long time at all. That's why I keep harping on your state of mind as important, and your willingness to remain calm in the face of pain and discomfort. Google recovery times for your surgery, read some testimonials from people that have had it done. That's what I did to address my anxiety after my surgery.

And yeah. There's no way I could have afforded my surgery without insurance, not even close.

[Transcendant]

So weirdly, while things are better (it would almost have to be), odd stuff still.

I'm not even sure how to put it, but you know how if you press your finger into most soft parts of yourself, the skin has a bit of "give?" That is, you can press it down and it bounces back. It's soft and easier to press?

The area where they put mesh in me is not like that. It has some give (not much), but it's tender. I'm still using a cane, because getting in and out of bed SUCKS: stiffness and pain.... Getting up out of chairs is better, but that's because I haven't been in a given position all night there.... Still using cane, and I don't like it.

Walking is better, but still painful, with a lovely pain sometimes. Usually it's a weird radiating pain that seems to go down my leg, or around the meshed area. I'm told this is partially nerve pain. Hurray.

My doctor knows about this and has suggested pain management, which I think includes PT (NO WAY am I going to opoids again if I can help it). If that doesn't work out in a couple months, then scar tissue excision.... Yeah, not looking forward to that, and want to avoid if possible.

[nenjin]

Areas that have been operated on can be sources of pain or weirdness for years. After my sinus surgery, and to today, when I lay my head down on my pillow my nose basically feels like it goes numb. Like I have this weird absence of feeling on my face, like a nerve is getting pinched or something.

Likewise, I took a nasty spill on to my right elbow in February. Around late July I started working out again. And yesterday, randomly starting in the morning when I woke up, the muscles above my elbow that were directly affected by my fall were aching, days after I'd done a workout, and after a good month of working hard in the gym. I was targeting the muscle related to my injury on my Friday workout but I didn't end up feeling any pain or discomfort until Monday. It wasn't agony but it was a constant ache no matter what position my arm was in. When you've got actual muscle pain to compare along side workout pain, you can absolutely feel the difference. Weirdly enough, the next day, no pain. This muscle in my arm has not given me any trouble since my elbow more or less worked itself out.

TLDR of a long boring story is.....these things will not feel normal for a long time. Maybe never. I'm pretty sure my right elbow is going to sound like crunched up cornflakes when I rotate my wrist for the rest of my life. Pretty sure the weird, almost "out of place" sensation I get in my nose is always going to be there. You're probably never going to totally get rid of the pain. It may go away for the most part, but once you've damaged something and had it repaired by a doctor, it becomes "funny." Like the knee that starts to hurt right before a big storm, that kind of stuff. There's several layers and stages of healing your body needs to go through and that takes a lot of time. I don't doubt you'll experience less pain six months from now than you are currently. The tenderness will go away. The swelling and tissue trauma will eventually heal and there'll be scar issue.

But will discomfort ever be completely gone? Varies person to person, surgeon to surgeon, injury to injury. You've got a foreign object in your body now and your body may never quite agree with it being there. I'd say you need to give it a full year of PT and rehab, be off the cane and evaluate how you feel then. In the mean time, there are many naturalistic options for pain management, with varying degrees of efficacy you can look in to. Everything from meditation to acupuncture, masseuses and chiropractors, to even reiki. (Laying on hands over time healing, basically.) Whether or not those solutions help you is another story, but there are things you can try that aren't pharmacological.

[Transcendant]

Thanks man.

It has been 6-7 weeks since surgery. I still use a cane and I hate it, a lot.

That nerve down the inside of my leg hurts. I'm not sure exactly why.

The thing with decreased painfree range of motion sucks. Putting weight on the leg is just odd, because sometimes it'll hurt from it moreso than others and I'm not sure  what seems to govern that. Again, bending sucks. I don't want to be repetitive, either, but yeah.

TMI:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Going to the bathroom sucks.

I don't really think it's "weakness" in the leg but the pain can flare up, and I'm not sure what causes it exactly. I do know I've either fallen or damn near a couple of times. Pain is that nerve junk down the inside of the leg, or a really tense feeling around the incision/mesh area. Occasionally it's sharp but not usually. I don't know if "tense" is a kind of pain, but this is that. Stretching my stomach does NOT feel good at all...

Cane? Why a cane/weight bearing pain?

[nenjin]

Like I said, they've cut you deep and put a foreign object in to support you. Muscles, nerves, tendons, all of that has been affected both by your injury and the surgery. Simply dropping my body weight on my elbow in free fall permanently fucked up some things and has had a knock on effect on plenty of other things.

We're talking about your pelvis, the thing that is pretty much involved anything you do short of moving your arms, and even then....lots of stuff and systems connected to it. If I had to hazard a guess, inflammation is probably starting to recede and that can almost be as painful as the inflammation was, as your tissues readjust and compress but are still tender and weak.

I'm sure you're probably sick of hearing "give it time" but that's all you really can do...that and seek PT as soon as its bearable for you. 2 months after a surgery like that does not seem out of the ballpark for still having plenty of pain and discomfort. My condolences though.

[ChairmanPoo]

There was a quote by one of the forefathers of modern surgery, can't remember the exact words, but it went something like "There are plenty of people I would trust to operate on my femoral artery, but only two whom I would trust to touch my inguinal canal".

IE: it's always been known as a delicate surgery. Goes without saying that things have massively improved since :p

BTW: were you awake during the surgery?  I was surprised when I learned that it's often done with the patient conscious.

[Transcendant]

No, I was not awake during this. General anesthetic. My limited understanding is that if the ASA is too high or there are other unacceptable risks, surgeons can operate with epidural as a last resort. I don't think I could have withstood that to be honest. Basically, there are better ways to do it and then less desirable ones. No surgery is worth it if the anesthetic kills you. Laparoscopic is also preferred, but was not an option for me., or so I was told. Incisions suck, and I just pray for no further complications.

[Transcendant]

Question: How do I deal with people's questions about progress?

It's slow going and pain is a big factor along with weight limitations. A cane helps keep pressure off the tissues that hurt. I'm looking at physical therapy, pain management and if that doesn't work in a couple months, scar tissue excision. (NO thank you).

So, I don't want to come across as an asshole when people ask me at work.... Work has actually accommodated me pretty well. I don't complain or ask for more than I need. I've been pretty good about telling HR and the top people about surgery etc.

That said, I don't want everyone knowing the particulars. We're talking about my crotch here.... Limping around with intestines outside your abdominal cavity for a month, followed by surgery, not being able to crap for 8 days, then the opposite problem, scar incision issues, swollen testicle, nerve pain, bathroom issues persisting through now.... I'm not trying to be a jackass or hide things, but having everyone know about intestinal / genital / surgical / pain stuff...?

Yes the recovery is taking a while, and that's really messed up my expectations for life right now. No, I don't know exactly when this "ends." It's messing with my head a bit; I feel like people are asking for a schedule I simply can't have. I'd love to be able to never have had this, or to have things be as though it never happened. Sadly, not possible.

[Transcendant]

How do you know if a hernia reoccurs or if there is another serious complication?

I hope I'm wrong

I can't think of any event that would've caused the thing to come back, but I'm getting some pain and pressure ....

Sometimes I got muscle spasms in my abdomen, but that's about it. The doctor told me 3 weeks after surgery that there was nothing I could to it to make it come back and it's been 10 weeks..... Pain. Not happy.

My individual surgeon is not there this week. My shortest time option is an ER, but I don't like to use medical resources like that (unless I have to). My next appointment is October 31st. I can perhaps get in to see a different practitioner on Thursday. Again, totally hoping I'm wrong, because that's the best medical situation here.

[nenjin]

Try to ice it in the mean time?

[Transcendant]

Thursday....
Doctor....
Here's hoping....

I am surprised at the things they never tell you about this stuff.... Even the dietary stuff would help a lot..... avoiding cheese, eating soup etc....

Ultimately, the AMA or someone in authority should put a guide together for laypeople and distribute it.... just my 2 cents.... oddly and I hope this is not taken the wrong way because it is medical... the inner workings and anatomy of the reproductive and adjacent anatomy are woefully mis understood by most..... I couldn't tell for sure if I am feeling an out of place intestine or something else at the base of it....

Scary as hell.... nothing like sensitive area pain, work leave issues and another expensive/painful operation to lift the spirits....

[Transcendant]

Didn't see my surgeon, but rather another doctor, because he was out.

Well, it hasn't reoccurred, so that's good. Very thankful for that.

Yet, pain.... Told if it hurts don't do it, 20 pounds isn't in stone (less weight if needed), actually told different underwear, diet restrictions and keep using cane.... Not yet on the pain management or the follow up operation, scar tissue rescission....

However, it is a nerve.... He mentioned the rate at which nerve tissue grows.... not fun....


As of right now, I still have the Appointment with my surgeon October 31....
Part of me wants to keep it to get more answers
The other part of me thinks he'll just say the same thing his partner said....

?

[MetalSlimeHunt]

I'd say it's fine to talk to your surgeon, after all, he's got your actual surgery in his memory and might be able to offer more specialized advice. Still, don't go in expecting miracle cures.

[Transcendant]

Miracles no. Answers yes.

I imagine he'll largely repeat what the other one said.
That stated I absolutely hate tape recording but I will here, because they won't put anything in writing.

It's not even that, it's that they cut me open, say everything is fine, and it isn't. What they're saying is so wildly different from what they're writing that I do not trust it.

I think my crotch hurrting like hell for months warrants it. Nobody else operated in and around my genitals so no one else has to worry about recording.

[nenjin]

Sadly I wouldn't get your hopes up.

After my surgery I had questions about what I was feeling, especially the very audible and very feeling-related "click" I had inside my nose a couple days after my surgery. After it happened I started getting this sensation of numbness in my nose to this day.

Both my surgeon and his PA were like "it's nothing, there's no way anything could have happened related to that part of the surgery." My surgeon when I pressured him on it gave this pained, almost exasperated look, saying it could be a pinched nerve, everyone's body is different, yadda yadda.

When you come back to a surgeon with pain and discomfort, what they're afraid of is a botched surgery, something they did wrong. So they are very resistant to giving hard answers; they like to talk in generalities and success and re occurrence rates. My surgeon even flat out said at one point "Look, what I can tell you is that out of 50 of these surgeries, 45 people had no problems." Once they've cut you they don't want to drill down in to your specific case again until you can point to a real medical problem (not that any of your symptoms aren't real in my book.) They don't want to and can't admit any degree of fault because that opens them up to a lawsuit, so they are very very careful when former patients come back with questions about their recovery or lack of it.

So you can consider going to another specialist who has no current stake in the game (i.e. he can't be sued for telling you what he actually thinks.) But I wouldn't expect much satisfaction there either, because even if he tells you "yeah they fucked you up good", the best they can do for you is schedule another expensive, painful surgery or point you to a good malpractice attorney. And neither of those get you feel better sooner.

Welcome to why people hate doctors. They project confidence about procedures but for various reasons people feel unsupported/left out in the dark after the procedure. If we were all swimming in money or we had actual healthcare in this country, doctors might be more willing to spend time with patients, listen to their post-op and recovery problems and not be so quick to dismiss their pain after the surgery has been done and money has changed hands. But as it is, if you survived your surgery and something hasn't gone catastrophically wrong since, most doctors and surgeons put it in the realm of "average expected outcomes" even though it feels nothing like average to you.

The only advice I can give is, if you want the guy's sincere help maintain your cool and don't stick your phone/tape recorder in his face because he will immediately stone wall you for his own professional safety. I basically had to pull this trick in reverse one time when a hospital wanted to discharge my mom even though she was in no condition to be out on her own. I had to demand a doctor's name from him who wanted to discharge her so I could "know whose name I could give to the newspapers if something were to happen to her." That got me compliance pretty goddamn quick. In your case I think you need to play it the opposite way because he's under no real obligation to give you more than he has at this point, as much as that sucks.