The chart of functions will be slowly updated with your guesses. If you hit on the right function, I'll change it to that.
The only storyline for this game is...whatever ensues from giving four Bay12ers a box that does stuff. Therefore, this game will probably include the total destruction of Earth.
Name: Clove Harrison, Male
See if anyone nearby also has a box. Also, see how the buttons/knobs are positioned. Press lucky 7. Observe what happens, then see if it can be twisted.
[2] No else is up yet. Their blinds are also closed.
They are in two rows of four.
When you press the button, the house in front of you begins to age. The walls eventually collapse inwards, reducing the house to rubble and filling the street with dust.
By 'it', I assume you mean the button, instead of 'what happens.' It does not turn.
Name: Tobias Nix
Gender Male:
Press number 1.
Your house immediately is covered in ice. Frost creeps along the ground towards you.
Mister Joseph Manly. Female.
Press all eight simultaneously. If that fails, push 8.
[1] You try to press all of them at the same time; failing to get all your fingers in the right place, you give up and mash the eighth button. A painfully loud tone rings out somewhere above you and eventually becomes louder, until suddenly going silent. You realize you've gone deaf.
(This would have been
really interesting if you had rolled a 6 on "press all buttons".)
Sokwe the Gorilla. Male.
Squeeze the box in my hand, hitting the 3 button in the process.
[6] You squeeze the box ...into a mangled mess of wires. It instantly re-forms. You hit the third button and a fluorescent haze drifts over you.
Starting now, turns will also require your guesses about any buttons you press during that turn.