Wake up.
If success at waking up try to open the doors and jump out of the car
[4]
[1]
You quickly force yourself back into consciousness, and attempt to jump out of the bullet and magic resistant windows. The resulting concussion quickly dissuades any further attempts.
Excellent, the Balrog has been successfully doused and knocked unconscious. Now then, generate a VERY LARGE spear of Elven make (Everyone knows Elves make the best evil-killing devices) and magically drop it/telekinetically throw it at the head of Durin's Bane. Just in case there are any other Balrogs around to confuse it with. (Yeah right, like that's going to happen!).
[5] You conjure
Gurthhael, a giant Sindarin Elvish spear, and accelerate towards the head of Durin's Bane at meteor-like speed. The resulting splat rocks the tower, and the Balrog is obliterated. Well done.
Lock doors. Drop ziizo off at the station.
Explain to the chief that the rest of my squad got their souls stolen and sold to satan. Ask if I can requisition some specialty equipment to rescue them.
Don't worry, the doors are secure. [6] Dropping ziizo off at the station,
in an anti magic jail cell, you find yourself harassed by Da Chief.
"Egan, where the $%^& have you been? We've been getting reports of unauthorised rampant magic use all over the damn multiverse, and you've spent all this time on one measly break in? Where's the rest of the unit?"
You explain the...situation. You request extra resources to get back the souls of your comrades. [4]
"Fine, within reason. Gods know we don't have enough of THAT these days. You get
2 special artefacts from the Armoury, just put in a requisition form
[Insert Artefacts here, will veto if TOO op. Otherwise, you can get anything you want.]
Switch positions with Coffee Puppy, then banish it to another dimension.
[5] Closing your eyes shut, you open them to see Coffee Puppy now trapped underneath the pile of people. The spatial switcheroo worked! [6] Taking your chance, you finally banish the mind-controlling bastard to another dimension. Unfortunately, the mental shock of their psychic master being removed so suddenly causes all of your customers to go into convulsions, they may need some medical attention.
A few humans would do just as well, too.
My worker children eat some neighborhood cats or something small.
[6] You manage to lure some humans to your ant hill using magical illusions, where you proceed to snuff them out with your pincers and drag them inside. It's a veritable feast. Thing is, you're bound to attract attention from the rest of the village, so you may wanna prepare some illusions or defences or whatnot.
Continue peaceful preaching. I have all the time in the universe.
[2] You-dammnit, these zealots are JUST. NOT. BUDGING. You decide to look into the future for the next 20 or so millennia, and there is no progress. A couple of religious wars here and there, and without your direct intervention, your own followers get the worst of it.
Give the health inspector of doom a heart attack
[1] Aiming a heart attack curse at the Health Inspector, he raises his Badge of Bureaucracy and deflects the spell right back at you! Your cardiovascular system goes haywire, it fucking sucks.
Roll a [1] next turn, you die.
Author
Topic: MINIMALIST MAGE RTD (Read 81601 times)