Enrichen the Galactic Empire with knowledge about coffee. They should learn the sacred! It does not have to replace their petty beliefs, even!
[2+1] You expand your caffeinated consciousness and attempt to enlighten these poor coffee-less beings to your ways, but their minds are quite literally alien. They simply cannot understand, but perhaps given enough time they might prove more tractable.
Respawn becuse this shit is just ridiculous at this point
[5] ( lucky )
Willing yourself to death, you feel the sweet embrace of oblivion, before popping back into existence. You're human again! Thank Jebus.
Summon a luxurious personal palace in the center of Mogadishu and make it the main seat of the Somalian government.
Summon a discount card with 2500000 USD dollars on it, then use the money to create Somalian National Armament & Munition Company.
Give SNA&MC designers knowledge of how to make laser weaponry & nano-fiber body armor. If I didn't waste all my money just to create the company, give them the leftover money. If I did waste the money, summon another discount card with the same amount of money on it.
Create Armed Forces of Somalian State and initiate massive conscription* program.
Try to improve women and LGBT rights in Somalia, secularize the state**. Also, allow women to serve in Armed Forces of Somalian State.
* The goal is to get at least 300,000 people in the army!
** Secularization is only juridical. De-facto, everyone is worshipping ME!
Okay, if you have more than three actions in your next turn, I'm adding penalties to rolls, this shit's getting hard to keep track of. And please, no more If I did/If I didn't commands.
[4+1]
[3+1]
[1+1]
[3+1]
[1+1]
Plopping a luxurious fortress-skyscraper-palace in the centre of Mogadishu, you proclaim it to be the seat of your eternal empire. The people rejoice! You manage to create a munitions company that is owned both by you and also tied to the state, allowing for ease of purchase, transportation and whatnot for munitions throughout the country.
You attempt to fund research into laser weaponry and nano armour, but the resources you've pooled from all over Somalia STILL aren't enough to engineer groundbreaking advances in this short amount of time.
You enact mass conscription, getting about 200,000 loyal, fanatically eager young men and women ready to fight.
Despite the total worship of you as an institution unto yourself, it's still hard to get rid of the trappings of religion within the nation. Honestly, you just can't find the time in the midst of all this other action.
Use my magic to make simple metal crowbar to bash the other chains
[4] Conjuring a Crowbar of Socialist Freedom, you successfully
pry off the other chain! Working the metal off your arm by hand hurts, but the freedom from capitalistic chains is worth it.
You have full magic power back!
use the distraction to Randomly switch the minds of everyone in the room.
[2] Attempting an actual magical mental switcheroo, your bloodloss is still heavily affecting your ability to concentrate.
A Reality Cop speaks. "Mr. Satan, this mage is trespassing on this inter dimensional premises-"
"Look, kid, stop talking. I was summoned here, I ain't leaving until I hear the deal they have to offer. Them's the rules, since before time was born."
Extricate myself from the things currently trying to kill me, and heal myself. Baba-Yaa is currently preoccupied, so there should be no contest of rolls.
[5] With Baba Yaga finally out of visual range, you are able to summon the magic needed to break the bone chains, as well the surrounding dirt. Pulling your exhausted, battered body out, you rest for a moment. You can run, you can fight, you can do whatever, but you'd best think quickly before the old witch comes back out.
Alright, magically revise Coffee Puppy. Firstly, complete control over it, secondly, replace that complete do-nothing mind control with "thou shalt become a regular customer of the coffeehouse. If this is your first time hearing the jingle, go to the coffeehouse NOW".
[3] Alright, it's time to put some order to your house. Magically seizing your Coffee Puppy's mind, you find inside to just be a blank void of Coffee Shop music and vague malice. Not much to work with. This is really a tricky puppy. Perhaps if you try again.