"Hmn... fair enough. I accept."
"Excellent. You shall be advisor to our Tsar in all magical matters. Come, we shall escort you."
Riding to Moscow, you are quickly briefed on the situation. [3] Apparently, the many magical shenanigans going in the world, across various time periods, have created a rise of all sorts of monsters and mischief makers in Russian territory. For one, a nearby village has been besieged by
Skrzaks. Surely a task easy for someone of your magical power.
"One can be an illegal mage? I didn't know that" Surrender to the Receptionist and ask about the process to become a legal mage.
[3] "Hmmmmm.....nope, can't risk it. Any mage in this dimension's gonna get us ALL in trouble with the higher ups darlin."
[4] vs [5] The receptionist swings at you with one of her scythed limbs, and you Neo-duck under it like a boss.
Fight still ongoing.
Good enuff. Harvest the salt you dropped on my head and fashion it into a great salt warhammer. So that I can forcibly make people saltier.
[5] Swirling the salt in the air telekinetically, you craft a mighty
Salthammer, which will give you +1 to rolls designed to piss other players off. Use at your own risk.
I can choke?! Ridiculous! Avert disaster by becoming immortal.
[6] You decide to make yourself immortal.
Well done, now you are. Unfortunately, now you're in a constant state of choking on coffee, which means you can't ever actually talk to people using your lungs or vocal cords, and it fucking hurts.
Hey, at least now nobody can kill you without wasting a turn trying to revoke your immortality.
Well, good enough. ACTIVATE THE GOD HARVESTER
[4] Reactivating your blender, you can hear gods from many dimensions being sucked into yours. A bunch of lesser gods get added to the mix, greatly enhancing the flavour. It'll be a second before the big boys get reeled in.
TRY AGAIN TO SUMMON THOSE PARAMEDICS
IF SUCCESSFUL, POINT AT CARNAGE OUTSIDE THEN GO ORDER ANOTHER COFFEE
IF FAIL, SHRUG AND GO ORDER MORE COFFEE ANYWAY. ASK FOR EXTRA BOOZY
[4] You summon an entirely new set of paramedics because I cannot be bothered to keep track of the fates of the other two. They get to work with the hurricane victims.
[5] You order another coffee. IT TASTES REAL GOOD.
Raid a fish farm to get fish for Bastet and the cats. Then begin summoning Hapi, the god of the Nile and the flood celebration who is always happy.
[1] You try and raid a fish farm remotely using your magic powers, but to your shock, you see Bast out of the corner of your eye get pulled into the air by an unseen force, before popping out of your dimension.
[2] Very shaken, you try and summon Hapi, another Egyptian god, but this time, the summoning feels wrong. Not like it did before, when the ways between worlds was blocked, but as if something is
deliberately pulling the gods away from your reach.
Ra and the partly-powered Set look at each other in a very concerned manner.