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[VolcanoQueen]

Wow, the human diplomat had nothing to say. No trade agreements, no world news, he basically just came to say hi. I feel like I should let him say hi. To Ludosm.

Do it.

[Derpy Dev]

Do it.

Hmm... I hate to break character, but the Mad Queen is not that mad. She knows that'd start a war with one of her best sources of metal, the other being dwarves.

[VolcanoQueen]

Do it.

Hmm... I hate to break character, but the Mad Queen is not that mad. She knows that'd start a war with one of her best sources of metal, the other being dwarves.

All right then. In all honesty, I have no idea why I wanted that to happen. I just kinda did.

[Derpy Dev]

Do it.

Hmm... I hate to break character, but the Mad Queen is not that mad. She knows that'd start a war with one of her best sources of metal, the other being dwarves.

All right then. In all honesty, I have no idea why I wanted that to happen. I just kinda did.

For the same reason I killed 50+ people: FOR THE LULZ BWAHAHAHAHA!

...speaking of though, that did literally nothing for the FPS. I think the bulk of the problem is A: fort age and B: the 133 pets. I can fix the ladder by mass slaughtering about half of them. We don't need this many crundles when we only have four nest boxes. Heck, we don't even need this much food!

[Puppyguard]

Just shove them in cages, that's what I do.

Not because I don't have the heart to kill them but because it's more fun to watch 100 animals be shoved into a one tile cage.

[VolcanoQueen]

it's more fun to watch 100 animals be shoved into a one tile cage.

...

How the heck?

How is that even possible?

[Derpy Dev]

it's more fun to watch 100 animals be shoved into a one tile cage.

...

How the heck?

How is that even possible?

There's a quantum stockpile that contains 800+ logs and rocks, so honestly this doesn't surprise me.

I had fun once by stuffing a cage with the troglodytes I kept catching in an in game year. I released them all by the trade depot and it brought the merchants to their knees.

[Derpy Dev]

So! In the last three days, I've been in a bit of a life or death struggle with lag. I've used DFhack to clean up the immense amount of vomit and slaughtered a load of animals, but it's still pretty slow. It is now early autumn, and let me show what I've been doing with all that glass.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It's only one wall at one side. Eventually, it will include walls at all side and a path into the fort from a ramp. This path will be completely sealed off to avoid it being flooded with magma. Oh, and did I mention? In the end, this entire place will be surrounded with 5 Z-level high glass walls that will be filled with magma. The fort will be secure, and a ghastly fate will await at the bottom for any fiend foolish enough to assault Traphorses...

Other than preparations for future projects, not much has happened. An artifact was made that shows me being crowned queen, but other than that, nothing new. I'll make a new post when something actually noteworthy happens!

[Fleeting Frames]

Hm. Is that vectorcurses16x16?

I think you did read of my lag-fight in Bloodyhells, though shame retirement didn't work for your fort...

[Derpy Dev]

Hm. Is that vectorcurses16x16?

I think you did read of my lag-fight in Bloodyhells, though shame retirement didn't work for your fort...

Nah, this is Nagidal24x24. His shaded tileset is the best.

[Derpy Dev]

So! Late autumn! You may be wondering, what have I been doing? Well, let me start by telling you a story. A few turns ago, presumably last time it was Puppyguard's, someone carved the words, 'Pup Rules!' into the earth. This was problematic for me because it endorsed my arch enemy. I couldn't stand for it. At first, I was going to just deconstruct it, but I didn't like this plan. And then I noticed the builder's tragic mistake: those weren't walls built, they were just mined around. I could engrave them.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I appreciate the help with this one Alpha. Your amazing engraver skills were put to good use.

Oh, and for whoever built this, don't even consider trying to deconstruct those walls. I left a little... surprise in there. So you'll face the wrath of the Mad Queen if you dare to undo her art.

[Moonstone_Flower]

If you find a dwarf with high Introspection, please dwarf me as "Hydrangea".  Preferrably a female who will not marry.

Excuse me while I quietly throw my lot in with Queen Derpy.

[...]
Oh, and for whoever built this, don't even consider trying to deconstruct those walls. I left a little... surprise in there. So you'll face the wrath of the Mad Queen if you dare to undue her art.

*Moonstone_Flower pokes Derpy Dev with a spellchecker and a spelling "nazi"*

I hope you mean "undo".  <full_sincerity>I don't know what "undue" could mean in this context.</full_sincerity>

[Derpy Dev]

If you find a dwarf with high Introspection, please dwarf me as "Hydrangea".  Preferrably a female who will not marry.

Excuse me while I quietly throw my lot in with Queen Derpy.

[...]
Oh, and for whoever built this, don't even consider trying to deconstruct those walls. I left a little... surprise in there. So you'll face the wrath of the Mad Queen if you dare to undue her art.

*Moonstone_Flower pokes Derpy Dev with a spellchecker and a spelling "nazi"*

I hope you mean "undo".  <full_sincerity>I don't know what "undue" could mean in this context.</full_sincerity>

...well now I feel dumb.

Grumble grumble, I'll see if I can find a dwarf that fits the bill next time I open up Traphorses.

[Derpy Dev]

So! I can't find a female dwarf with high introspection because Dwarf Therapist needs to be reinstalled. If you think I know why, you're gravely mistaken. Sorry!

[Alpha Loves You]

So! Late autumn! You may be wondering, what have I been doing? Well, let me start by telling you a story. A few turns ago, presumably last time it was Puppyguard's, someone carved the words, 'Pup Rules!' into the earth. This was problematic for me because it endorsed my arch enemy. I couldn't stand for it. At first, I was going to just deconstruct it, but I didn't like this plan. And then I noticed the builder's tragic mistake: those weren't walls built, they were just mined around. I could engrave them.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I appreciate the help with this one Alpha. Your amazing engraver skills were put to good use.

Oh, and for whoever built this, don't even consider trying to deconstruct those walls. I left a little... surprise in there. So you'll face the wrath of the Mad Queen if you dare to undo her art.

Well, I guess there's no way to play it nuteral now.
That engraving is really funny though