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[Derpy Dev]

Impaling animals is fun!
_{IN DWARF FORTRESS, anyway.}

hee hee... ya... only in Dwarf Fortress.

[Alpha Loves You]

In one season the fortress went from a game of thrones plotline to an unholy animal sacrifice temple.

I approve

[Derpy Dev]

Last night, the mad queen had a dream. She saw massive glass pillars that reached the heavens, and she dreamed that she was looking down from the top of it, and gazing upon an ocean of magma...

That morning, the queen settled herself on making that dream a reality. Much glass would be made.

First, let's go and deal with the justice temple situation.The big problem is that, for whatever reason, Pikachu17 decided to escape and flee to the less justicey temple and pray. A wise decision, but not one that would save her. GET BACK IN YOUR TEMPLE.

Now, my order to create one metric butt ton of glass has not yet been validated, because Hun is a bit too busy praying in that fire temple of his. I should light it on fire at some point... maybe later. For now, I'll do this the old fashioned way and just tell them to gather glass on repeat.

Hmm... I noticed that someone turned off job cancelation announcements. I turned them back on, and...

GOOD LORD.

Why the hell are these two idiots spam trying to do this job and failing? In the ten seconds those announcements were back on for, the took up I kid you not 15 pages of announcements. Good lord... they have to die. Stodir and Belza have to die.

I could do something crazy like feed them to the resident FB, but that's too hard at a dire time like this. I'm stationing them under the atom smasher.

In other news, I need sand more than I need milled plants, so I canceled that manager job.

Also, those two idiots have been purged from reality, forever, until the end of time. They aren't coming back. THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING STUPID.

By the way, a creeping eye corpse can be found if you examine the upright spikes with T. Dunno where the crundle and creeping eye went though...

People are starting to ask questions about those two idiots... I guess they didn't forget those two existed Doctor Who style. Guess I'm engraving slabs for them.

I made a new room next to our 800 log strong quantum wood stockpile. It's mostly there to hold a second ashery, but it does have a slight... issue.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I may have made a slight error. Let's never speak of this again.

"I feel so good!" Pikachu17 says while surrounded by dead, rotting animals.

Every once and a while life gets me down, but then I see Puppytreat's mutilated corpse lying in the water supply and I can't help but smile.

[Puppyguard]

Every once and a while life gets me down, but then I see Puppytreat's mutilated corpse lying in the water supply and I can't help but smile.

Yeah, same here, but then I remember 'the handsome one' and the floor meeting for the last time.

[Derpy Dev]

Every once and a while life gets me down, but then I see Puppytreat's mutilated corpse lying in the water supply and I can't help but smile.

Yeah, same here, but then I remember 'the handsome one' and the floor meeting for the last time.

[VolcanoQueen]

"I feel so good!" Pikachu17 says while surrounded by dead, rotting animals.

I feel like this is an accurate summary of the life of the typical dwarf.

[Derpy Dev]

"I feel so good!" Pikachu17 says while surrounded by dead, rotting animals.

I feel like this is an accurate summary of the life of the typical dwarf.

Dwarves have the amazing ability to be completely immune to PTSD and trauma of any kind.

...actually, that would be awesome. If your dwarves could get PTSD after traumatizing events. Then again, it might discourage players from being immoral, which is bad.

[VolcanoQueen]

"I feel so good!" Pikachu17 says while surrounded by dead, rotting animals.

I feel like this is an accurate summary of the life of the typical dwarf.

Dwarves have the amazing ability to be completely immune to PTSD and trauma of any kind.

...actually, that would be awesome. If your dwarves could get PTSD after traumatizing events. Then again, it might discourage players from being immoral, which is bad.

That'd be pretty cool. It would probably be pretty difficult to keep most of your dwarves from being traumatized, though, when they're dealing with vampire serial killers, waves of zombie emus, and randomly generated monstrosities crawling out of the caverns.

[Fleeting Frames]

Cancellation spam typically means burrows. Check yours? (Though nobody in their right mind would make a burrow include the atom-smasher...right?)

I see no errors in specific for that part of the picture *confused*.

People can be changed by trauma. On the bottom, it'll progress through stuff like "getting used to tragedy" to "doesn't care about anything anymore" or something like that, iirc (see your siege-killing squads for particulars). This makes them just more resistant to trauma and alcohol-dependent; the opposite of disorder if you're a dwarf.

[Derpy Dev]

I see no errors in specific for that part of the picture *confused*.

Then I won't tell you where it is, it'll kill your brain and you can't unsee it.

Cancellation spam typically means burrows. Check yours?

I did notice that a burrow was active shortly afterwards because it was causing a different issue with mining... oh Jesus I didn't need to kill them. Just think of all the people I've unnecessarily atom smashed.

(Though nobody in their right mind would make a burrow include the atom-smasher...right?)

You speak nonsense to the mad queen.

[Derpy Dev]

So you basically made it a challenge by telling me I couldn't drive Pikachu17 insane. I put her in the military, then told her her armor should replace her clothes without assigning her armor. Long story short, she is now sitting naked in the temple of the justice god. If this doesn't work, I'll make fortifications people can look at her through so they can laugh at her. That should work.

All right, let's talk about this good forts main problem: lag. There are 52 human visitors here, and I'm certain they're at least partly responsible for my 10 FPS. Solution: Murder.

The plan is simple, by making clever use of burrows I can separate the guests from the citizens. I'll put the guests in a room that's next door to Ludosm, the resident web throwing FB. I'll release the FB in a controlled fashion into the guest quarters and watch the fireworks. Then, if I'm feeling really clever, I can booby trap the room Ludosm is in, ending that ticking time bomb at the same time. No more lag, no more FB the army is literally incapable of killing, win win all round.

I'm not sure the miners realize they're digging out a murder chamber.

This project will be putting Alpha's survival chamber to good use though, I will be relocating all the regular dwarves that won't be murdered there. Well, all except one. Somebody needs to release Ludosm, am I right?

One by one, all the poets are migrating to the new tavern, despite the fact that they can hear a giant starling scratching at the walls.

So apparently they all go at once if you flat out delete the old tavern. I'll remake it later.

And it is happening. I've had all the guests moved to one chamber, and I personally will pull the levers responsible for their demise. In just one moment...

*sniff sniff*

Ooh, dinner's done. I'm gonna go eat now.

Next time: Derpy Dev has fifty people executed for existing.

[Puppyguard]

I approve of guest lag extermination.

[Derpy Dev]

Hey... I don't wanna cause alarm, but Hun's been a bit inactive. Everything okay pal?

[bloop_bleep]

We don't want to lose another one. zazq was enough...

[Derpy Dev]

Well as much as I want to sit back and wait for Hun to come back, I do believe the show must go on. In all likelihood Hun's internet is down or they're out of town. Or heck, maybe they did decide to just quit.

So back to the mass murder of guests.



That is the guest room, and to the south you can see the giant starling Ludosm. The open blue bridge will wall off the area when closed, and the closed bridge will release the beast. I personally am going to close the first lever right now.

The area has been walled off by the lever's first pull. Also, unintended consequences but a pet giant mole was standing on the bridge and long story short it no longer exists.

And the second lever was pulled as well. Ludosm was also standing under the bridge when the lever was pulled, but luckily it just broke the bridge.



Bwahahahaha.

Uh oh.



The red exclamation point is Ludosm, who is enraged, which also means it can't shoot webs, which kinda betrays the point.

It's almost halfway through the guys and has left its rage, but it isn't looking too hot.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Bwahahahahaha!

And thirty-eight pages of combat later, it is done.



Let it be said that the Mad Queen one that day.

...the best part is that this is still spring. That's right, it's only been three months and I've already killed fifty people.

This is going to be fun.

BTW: I do have a saved version of all 38 combat pages, if you're interested tell me and I'll post it.