Reminder: instructions for the following round will be found at the bottom of the post. please read the bottom of the post for information.
Also, for those who haven't experienced it, sorry I forgot to put Grunts' dice roll system in the OP. I'll be editing that in a bit. the basics are this: you get an action roll and a Death roll each turn. resolution of action rolls are individually replied to typically, while Death Rolls are lumped together at the bottom of your platoon section.
Oh! I see someone has already made themselves a kill tally. you guys are free to track your kills as well. lump them into three groups if you like: major, standard, and minor. Minor will be for smaller enemies that don't pose a threat individually, standard is for most kills, and major is for, like, if you bring down a dinosaur or something. I'll let you know when a creature is designated minor, or when a kill is noteworthy enough to be major.
Looks like you fellas are about to get a couple of lessons. The first lesson is in paying attention to things your friendly neighborhood GM/officer instructs you to do, and the second lesson is a lesson in physics.
Let me remind you of which I speak:
Additionally: secure your shit! this is your 'action before your death roll. If you don't explicitly secure your shit, I will assume you didn't, to hilarious effect!
Now then.
Dart One (aka platoon 1)Dart 1. Sit, buckle up, pray to Khorne. Nothing can go bad, right?
Platoon: 1
Designation: Rak001
Class: Grunt
Status: Healthy, -
Inventory: Helmet, Laser carbine, Backpack and Imitation Artificial Chewing Resin Substitute
pray to Khorne? The acceptable deities of the Empire are Space Jesus, Raptor Jesus, and Space Raptor Jesus. The Holy Empire is a suitable object of worship as well, and naturally, you may pray to the Officers, Who Are Like Unto God Himself to you Grunts. I'll consider appropriate edits to the Pantheon if they fit the theme and are amusing. Anyway, heretic, the chaplain branch is locked for you until you repent of your blasphemy.
Dart 1: All gear secured and ready for drop, Sergeant!
(Stow weapon on rack, backpack in compartment, sit, buckle restraints, all that fun stuff)
((And don't forget to kiss your ass goodbye.))
Platoon: 1
Designation: MC001
Class: Grunt
Status: Healthy, -
Inventory: Helmet, Laser Carbine, Backpack, Imitation Artificial Chewing Resin Substitute
Get into dart 1 strap myself in and kiss my ass goodbye
Platoon 1:
Designation: KH001
Class: Grunt
Status: Healthy
Inventory: Helmet, laser carbine, backpack, Imitation Artificial Chewing Resin Substitute
Kill tally:Zero
Death types:
Dart 1! Secure my belongings, then secure Sarrak's belongings! Then sit, buckle up, and be ready for launch! Also, remind myself what a klaxon is.
Also, why are you threatening us for inappropriate comments in char sheets with wounds? If anything, some of us want to die off at first, to get tier 1 classes.
Platoon: 1
Designation: OS001
Class: Grunt
Status: Healthy
Inventory: Helmet, Laser Carbine, Backpack, and Imitation Artificial Chewing Resin Substitute
feel free to be as reckless with your actions as you like, and die as quickly as you can. But don't self harm. Suicide does not advance your death count in terms of unlocking classes. my comments weren't intended as a threat, but with this many players, there is no way I'll remember who is healthy, wounded, or dead at any given point, so I need your help with record keeping.
Dart 1. Buckle Up, lead the dart in singing a song about beautiful women and soldiers who actually survive battle.
Platoon: 1
Designation: Pork001
Class: Grunt
Status: Healthy
Inventor: Helmet, Carbine, Backpack, Artificial Gum-Like Substance. Ham Sandwhich is in Grunt-Class Lunchbox
Platoon 1 Death RollsThree Grunts have secured belongings. That leaves two sets of unsecured belongings in this dart. Those now become projectiles, adding two death rolls before you even get shot at by the enemy. The Dart launches violently, as Darts do, flinging you all against your seat restraints as you are hurled into space at 15Gs acceleration
(2)KH001 is maimed by his own backpack while attempting to kiss his buckled ass goodbye.
(1)Pork001 is our first casualty, singing about mythical creatures and being struck in the head by his unsecured laser carbine
Dart under fire:
(1)After these comedic misadventures, the survivors find themselves in apparent free fall for a split second, before their Dart is completely and instantly vaporised by antifighter fire from the enemy.
Dart Two (aka platoon 2)Dart 2. Secure shit thoroughly. Attach grunt-issue ear distractors to ears and prepare for distraction in flight.
Platoon: 2
Designation: OcE007
Class: Grunt
Status: Healthy!
Inventory: helmet, las carbine, backpack, cherry flavored sawdust resin perfectly disguised as standard-issue imitation artificial chewing resin substitute
0 deaths
Dart 2. Buckle the fuck in.
Platoon 2:
Designation: NL001
Class: Grunt
Status: Healthy
Inventory: Helmet, laser carbine, backpack, Imitation Artificial Chewing Resin Substitute
Dark 2,buckle up and hope for the best
Platoon: 2
Designation: Pzf001
Class: Grunt
Status: Healthy
inventory: helmet, laser carbine, backpack, Imitation Artificial Chewing Resin Substitute
Dart 2, buckle up and assume securing my stuff means holding it tightly
Platoon : ?
Designation: Fel001
Class: Grunt
Status: Healthy
Inventory: Helmet, laser carbine, backpack, Imitation Artificial Chewing Resin Substitute
Dart 2, try to strap myself in right the first time. Make sure my stuff stays mine.
Platoon:2
Designation: Zr001
Class: Grunt
Status: Healthy
inventory: Helmet, laser carbine, backpack, and Imitation Artificial Chewing Resin Substitute
Platoon 2 Death Rollstwo of you have managed to properly secure your shit. that means three death rolls on launch. Hilarious, and completely expected. Also you three lose your backpacks and carbines. which means you are weaponless and gumless.
(4)NL001 receives a minor wound when his backpack rockets out of his lap toward the back of the Dart under sudden aceleration
(3)Pz001 receives a Serious Wound in a similar manner.
(6)Fel001 By the grace of Space God and the Empire merely loses his grip on his items, and learns a valuable lesson about listening to his superiors and his training, both of which clearly directed him to secure his items by locking them down in their compartments in the Dart.
Dart Under Fire
(2) "Hey guys? How do you think we're supposed to get back?" someone asks, or attempts to ask, as their brains are forced into their skulls byt the acceleration. No one answers as, a split second later, a hole opens in the back end of the dart, and all those precious unsecured items go flying into the Void. The Dart slams, off center, into a hard object hat you all sincerely hope is the enemy vessel, exposing you to 15 Gs of sudden deceleration. Your harnesses disengage, dropping you, and the two remaining backpacks and laser carbines, into the point of the Dart. The point of the Dart is bent horribly sideways, and only two of the hatches have opened - one of them opens to twisted metal and space, the other onto darkness. You have all taken a Serious Wound, and are Suffocating (0/3) Each round before you get inside will raise the counter. when it hits 3, you die. inside, if the room you are in has air, you will stop suffocating.
Dart Three (aka platoon 3)Dart 3. Buckle up, kiss ass good bye.
Platoon: 3
Designation: BLD001
Class: Grunt
Status: Minor Wound(Ached for a reunion Round), Otherwise healthy.
Inventory: helmet, laser carbine, backpack, 1 Imitation Artificial Chewing Resin Substitute, and a picture of mama vat.
Question, did my armor absorb that minor wound?
what armor? you don't actually have to start the game wounded. if you survive this round, you can consider that minor wound non-existent.
Strap in dart 3, head between knees kissing ass.
Platoon: Uhhhhh
Designation: FKD001
Class: Grunt
Status: I'm not dead yet
Inventory: helmet, laser carbine, backpack, strawberry flavored ham scraping composite
Platoon: 3
Designation: Zii001
Class: Grunt
Status: Healthy.
Inventory: Helmet, Laser Carbine, Backpack (lunch (Egg Sandwich), extra socks and the Empire's Military Handbook), Imitation Artificial Chewing Resin Substitute.
Dart 3. Buckle up, secure stuff enjoy last sandwich.
That is one fucking delicious sandwich. You enjoy it three times: once while eating it waiting for drop, a second time when launched, as it comes right back into your mouth, and a third when swallowing it again. It loses a lot of its appeal the second time through.
Buckle into Dart 3. Put the backpack below me, strap held down with a foot, and weapon secured to the racks, a hand right next to it.
Platoon: 2
Designation: sev001
Class: Grunt
Status: Healthy
Inventory: Helmet, Laser Carbine, Backpack, Imitation Artificial Chewing Resin Substitute
Platoon 3 Death Rollstwo with secured items, two without. as above, this means two death rolls. weeeeee! Upon sudden and violent acceleration, your shit goes flying toward the back of the Dart, striking you in the process and then smaching against hte back hull, destroying your weapons and any breakable gear in your backpacks.
(4)BLD001 takes a minor wound from his unsecured stuff striking him as it hurtles toward the back of the Dart
(3)FKD001 takes a Serious Wound from his own stuff.
Dart Under Fire:
(1) your wounds and lost equipment are rendered irrelevant by the cold calculus of war. Dart 3 joins Dart 1 as so much Space Debris.
LeftoversPlatoon:1
Designation: Hach-1
Class: Grunt
Status:healthy
inventory: helmet, laser carbine, backpack, Imitation Artificial Chewing Resin Substitute.
Oh, dear, it looks like we're out of space. This is launch bay gamma, right?
Probably get shouted at a bit.
Platoon: ?
Designation: Hat001
Class: Grunt
Status: Healthy
inventory: helmet, laser carbine, backpack, Imitation Artificial Chewing Resin Substitute.
you two mill about in the confusion and fail to get a dart in the first wave. You will launch next round. Join Platoon 1 or 3 in the second wave launch.
Instructions for next roundfriendly reminders. a) bold your actions. b) one action per turn. c) I won't do actions placed in quotes, with one exception, which I will talk about below
If you guys would post your actions in your platoon color as well as bolded, it will help me organize by sight and would be appreciated. another tactic for organization worked decently last game: if one person from each platoon would quote everyone else' actions for that platoon, then I could simply quote that person's actions and not have to quote seventeen players individually each round. Last game, Egan did this for a squad of three, which was nice. This isn't necessary, but could be tremendously helpful.
Mark your injuries.If your stuff was unsecured, and you lived to tell the tale, you are now weaponless and withuot backpack or gum. Only your helmets and your wiser teammates are left to you.Respawn in the Dart Bay. If you were in Dart 1, you are still platoon 1. if you were in Dart 3, you are still Platoon 3. Second wave Darts have room for more Grunts.