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Author Topic: SPAMDRAGON: Swamp Baron  (Read 36683 times)

Prophet

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #600 on: July 12, 2017, 04:47:14 pm »

B
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Detoxicated

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #601 on: July 12, 2017, 06:12:58 pm »

A no need to be stupid
switching to B
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piratejoe

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #602 on: July 12, 2017, 06:52:27 pm »

C
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Battleships Hurl insults from behind thick walls, Destroyers beat up small children, Carriers stay back in the kitchen, and Cruisers are a bunch of tryhards who pretend to be loners.

VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #603 on: July 12, 2017, 08:58:37 pm »

Lets B brave but not foolish.

Iituem

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #604 on: April 10, 2018, 08:57:06 am »

Yaaaaawn!  That was a good nap.  You feel like you've been asleep for months, although in truth only about 3 days.  Well, you'd better get on with this, then!  As planned, you decide to visit each of the 5 outer tombs in turn, challenging the tombs' opponents in individual battles.

Quote
Mummies: 20hp, +1 Combat Skill, 1 damage on hit.
Dragon: 3hp, 1 armour, Mass Combat Melee +4 (3 damage), Ranged +3 (3 damage).
3, 7, 6, 10!
2

You tear off the casket lids from each of the sarcophagi in the first tomb, opening with a blaze of flame, but your aim is completely off - you set a couple of the mummies alight, but they don't burn strongly enough to go down.  Twenty or so mummies arise, and in tight quarters like these you can't get enough range to use your firebreath effectively after the initial blast - but that's fine.  Close quarters are to your advantage with your tough muscles and steel claws.  You rend the mummies apart, but the battle takes a minute of furious slashing and makes enough noise that you hear sarcophagus lids in the nearby tombs begin to slide away.  It looks like you'll be fighting two more of the outer tombs this time.

Quote
Mummies: 40hp, +2 Combat Skill, 2 damage on hit.
Dragon: 3hp, 1 armour, Mass Combat Melee +4 (3 damage), Ranged +3 (3 damage).
4, 9, 4, 8, 5, 5, 8

2

You catch a handful of the ophidian mummies with your firebreath before the two hordes of undead flank you.  There are just under forty this time, and they are armed with ancient bronze knives and what look like swords, long-tarnished to uselessness and now being wielded like clubs.  You feel your ancestral memories begin to kick in, guiding your claw strokes, as you tear asunder whole swathes of your assailants with each blow.  Dry flesh cracks and crumbles under your claws, though the numbers begin to pile up on you quickly enough - it is all you can do to keep them at bay.  Your inner pride surges as they crawl all over you and your limbs and wings explode outward, hurling these wretched creatures away!  Several break upon the tomb's stone walls, others shattered by your forceful limbs.  The mummies attack again, pressing in with renewed vigour amongst those that survive, heedless of the numbers you claw down.  Yet their numbers are too thin, and it is a simple matter of perseverance to whittle them down.

Alas, your battle carried on once more.  The inhabitants of the two remaining outer tombs have already emerged from their coffins and are charging your position!

Quote
4

Mummies: 40hp, +2 Combat Skill, 2 damage on hit.
Dragon: 3hp, 1 armour, Mass Combat Melee +4 (3 damage), Ranged +3 (3 damage).
5, 3, 8, 3, 4

You open again with a gout of flame and start charging in, but this time your strokes feel foolish and overconfident rather than as glorious as you might have hoped.  The mummies, wielding simple and half-rotted spears, adopt a defensive posture and although you pick away at them, clawing down perhaps a third of their number, they are able to delay you long enough for the stone door of the inner tomb to roll aside.

Twenty more serpentine mummies emerge, wielding ancient curved blades, but behind them slithers a far better preserved corpse wearing a silver death mask and wielding a well-preserved shortbow.  This favoured mummy stays back behind the advancing phalanx and nocks an arrow, aiming for your heart.

Quote
Mummies: 65hp, +3 Combat Skill, 3 damage on hit.
Guardian Mummy: 3hp, Armour 1, Personal Combat Ranged +2 (1 damage, Range 2), Melee +2 (1 damage).
Dragon: 3hp, Armour 1, Mass Combat Melee +4 (3 damage), Ranged +3 (3 damage, Range 1); Personal Combat Melee +4 (6 damage), Ranged +3 (1 damage).

You breathe a gout of flame at the far band of mummies, roasting half a dozen, but they join up with the rest.  You come to a distressing realisation - with the tomb's low ceilings you cannot fly, and with so many bodies in your way you cannot actually reach the archer mummy with your firebreath, while she can still fire upon you with the advantage of range.  You will need to kill your way through the press to reach her.

The question now is how to fight.

A) Tactically.  Conserve your strength and don't take risks, just focus on getting through.
B) Gloriously.  Hurl yourself through the press without concern for your own wellbeing, as a dragon should.  !
C) Unusually.  Suggest a tactic.
D) Not at all.  Pull back from these odds and fight another day.  !
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

No slaughtering every man, woman and child we see just to teleport to the moon.

10ebbor10

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #605 on: April 10, 2018, 09:01:39 am »

A)
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Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #606 on: April 10, 2018, 09:04:17 am »

A
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Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #607 on: April 10, 2018, 09:05:02 am »

SpamDragon!!

A
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Felissan

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #608 on: April 10, 2018, 09:14:55 am »

B
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Quote from: xkcd
I always figured you should never bring a gun to a gun fight because then you'll be part of a gun fight.

Detoxicated

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #609 on: April 10, 2018, 09:19:42 am »

A
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Iituem

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #610 on: April 10, 2018, 09:43:21 am »

Tactical combat it is.  If you can whittle down this horde, you might get close enough to take down that Guardian.  You focus on protecting your flanks, even if it does mean giving up some truly glorious attacks.

Quote
Mummies: 65hp, +3 Combat Skill, 3 damage on hit.
Guardian Mummy: 3hp, Armour 1, Personal Combat Ranged +2 (1 damage, Range 2), Melee +2 (1 damage).
Dragon: 3hp, Armour 1, Mass Combat Melee +4 (3 damage), Ranged +3 (3 damage, Range 1); Personal Combat Melee +4 (6 damage), Ranged +3 (1 damage).

1, 6, 2

The mummies take cover behind sarcophagi, shielded from your initial blast of flame, and the guardian mummy takes the opportunity to fire her first shot, glancing harmlessly off your scales as you bring a wing up to shield your exposed breast.  It quickly proves for the best that you have chosen to fight in a more guarded fashion, as the horde rushes you in a massive flurry of weaponry and destruction - if you had charged in overconfidently they would probably have killed you outright!  As it is, they begin ramming long spears and ancient blades into your side, wedging through the gaps in your scales and dragging them down, opening up bleeding wounds in your side!

Quote
3, 3
2!, 6
5, 2!

The guardian mummy fires another shot, but there are too many mummies in the way for her to hit anything meaningful, even if you are now heavily wounded in the press.  Her second shot strikes true, catching you in the eye!  You scream in pain as you are blinded on your left side from the shot.  You lash out with your claws, sending a handful of mummies flying.  Her next shot bounces off your claws, but the mummies have torn off whole segments of your scales and are clawing at your exposed flesh beneath!

You are near death.

A) Retreat!  Pull back to the upper layers and seek safety.
B) Death or glory!  !!!
C) Something unexpected.  (Suggestions.)
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

No slaughtering every man, woman and child we see just to teleport to the moon.

Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #611 on: April 10, 2018, 09:59:56 am »

C: time to escape, sure, but in the process, let's be a little wild with the claws and fire and try to bring the roof down on these assholes.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #612 on: April 10, 2018, 10:23:23 am »

!!!

I can't believe how glad I am to see this return.

C: seek not life, but undeath, for in this situation it is easier to find one than the other
« Last Edit: April 10, 2018, 10:52:20 am by Harry Baldman »
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Blood_Librarian

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #613 on: April 10, 2018, 10:46:09 am »

B
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if you want something wacky
Quote from: ChiefWaffles, MAR Discord
I continue to be puzzled by BL's attempts to make Aratam blatantly evil

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #614 on: April 10, 2018, 10:53:16 am »

A

Actually, let's not get fancy. It wouldn't do to straight-up eat it immediately after nine months of hiatus.
« Last Edit: April 10, 2018, 11:11:23 am by Harry Baldman »
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