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Author Topic: SPAMDRAGON: Swamp Baron  (Read 36709 times)

Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #375 on: June 11, 2017, 07:47:06 pm »

E
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helmacon

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #376 on: June 11, 2017, 07:56:17 pm »

D

This is not the village, these are some outliers. Best to sow some mysterious destruction and get the local pop nervous before we arrive and terrify them.
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.

Blood_Librarian

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #378 on: June 11, 2017, 08:28:02 pm »

D

This is not the village, these are some outliers. Best to sow some mysterious destruction and get the local pop nervous before we arrive and terrify them.
+1
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if you want something wacky
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NRDL

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #379 on: June 11, 2017, 08:33:21 pm »

D

We're still just the size of a horse, right?
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GOD DAMN IT NRDL.
NRDL will roll a die and decide how sadistic and insane he's feeling well you do.

chubby2man

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #380 on: June 11, 2017, 08:58:43 pm »

D
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Sindari Immortals Play as an immortal being trying to subvert an evil empire of (for now) stronger immortals. On *very* long term hiatus.

Puppyguard

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #381 on: June 11, 2017, 09:04:28 pm »

D
Kobolds aren't even that useful.
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Sudurandom

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #382 on: June 11, 2017, 09:10:59 pm »

E. Normally I'd say F but a dragon does not give up it's treasure for such petty things as food. 
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #383 on: June 11, 2017, 09:36:11 pm »

E
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

PaPaj

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #384 on: June 12, 2017, 12:53:12 am »

E
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"Hey how are you doing? well im doing just fine,i lie i am dying inside" - [place data of this short song being made here] some girl with a guitar

Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #385 on: June 12, 2017, 03:00:42 am »

D
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Iituem

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #386 on: June 12, 2017, 05:02:06 am »

Quote
10

Not that your success was ever in question against such a soft target, but it's nice to make sure that when you want no survivors, there are no survivors.  You punch a claw through one lookout, then soar over the clearing and do the same to the other.  Just as the denizens are looking up to wonder what that shadow was, you set the homestead's one gap in the protective wall on fire and gleefully silence the panicked screams of the inhabitants.  You pounce on the few strong members and savage their tasty hearts out, break the backs of the old and roast them to improve their tough, jerky-like flavour, and devour the children as small, tasty snacks.  Then you set about devouring the pigs in the enclosure, two at a time, the smell of fresh bacon filling the air.  The huts contain jars and jars of studiously preserved dried berries, smoked meat and pemmican, which you wolf down with joyous abandon.  Even the jars of rice go down a treat once you dip them in swamp water and boil it with your breath - mm, steamed rice!  Even better, there are a scant few jars of some sort of strong alcohol distilled from rice (you don't see any sign of a distillery or fermenting beds, so this is probably imported from another settlement) which you guzzle down, saving two for your last treat.  There's a big clay pot the kobolds used as a cooking pot, so you start throwing rice, roast pig, dried berries and vegetables, fresh kobold parts and sake (your memories remind you of the name of the alcohol) and cook up an enormous pot of kobold risotto.  There isn't much wealth in the village, but you find a handful of battered old silver coins and a jade necklace {50 silver coins}  The pot of risotto you drag home with you for seconds, but before you leave you take the time to burn the buildings, the rice fields, the drying racks, the remnants of the bodies, the fence and a few of the surrounding mangrove trees to the ground for good measure.  You leave nothing but ashes in your wake.

As you lounge in your lair, polishing off the last of the risotto in the lamplight (you refill the flagging lanterns while you are there) you reflect on just how full you are.  You could polish off one of those homesteads every now and again and be set for easily a few weeks per homestead at your current size.  Of course, there might be a more sustainable way to feed off these kobolds, but do you really care?

A)  Make a habit of raiding small kobold settlements.  ?
B)  This was a one-off deal.  Find another settlement and try to make a more permanent arrangement.  ?
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10ebbor10

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #387 on: June 12, 2017, 05:10:14 am »

B
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PaPaj

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #388 on: June 12, 2017, 06:34:34 am »

B
If these guys had some imported Sake,that means that there are at bigger villages of them,so if we can introduce ourselfs to them,they will spread the news of us to the others,which might be good for us
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"Hey how are you doing? well im doing just fine,i lie i am dying inside" - [place data of this short song being made here] some girl with a guitar

helmacon

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Re: SPAMDRAGON: Mummy Wrecker
« Reply #389 on: June 12, 2017, 06:41:54 am »

B
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.
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