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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 787393 times)

Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16185 on: May 20, 2019, 12:46:36 pm »

B
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auzewasright

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16186 on: May 20, 2019, 06:41:41 pm »

B
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Wolfhunter107

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16187 on: May 21, 2019, 03:38:02 am »

B

Never split the party.
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Just ask yourself: What would a mobster do?
So we butcher them and build a 4chan tallow soap tower as a monument to our greatness?

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16188 on: May 23, 2019, 01:12:16 pm »

You decide to take your army and maneuver so that you fall on flank of one of the enemy armies, with the other being far from threatening you, at least momentarily.

Quote
5*

The maneuver is executed brilliantly, even with Caius quickly catching up with what is happening. Your cavalry falls upon his flanks and your main force marches forth! Caius forces are out of position and for the initial engagement, you shall have the advantage.

Quote
9!*

With fury and determination befitting the most fierce of lions, your soldiers hack away the Damdamian heathens like scythe cuts down grain during harvest. The flanks are bottled down by your cavalry, whilst your pikemen and firetubers move through the central ranks of Caius' army. For every fallen Methiantese there's at least several of Damdamian corpses surrounding it!

From top of your horse you can see that the remaining enemy Army is smaller than yours, and the difference of numbers will surely be a boon to you! You press on, hoping that this will be the battle to end the war.

Quote
5*

The battle continues, your soldiers taking more and more of the battlefield from the Damdamians. Your officers point out the Damdamians banners in the rear, retreating haphazardly and leaving their more courageous compatriots still fighting.

Enemy numbers dwindle rapidly, and that's when your scouts bring ill news; the other Army is but few moments from reaching the battlefield. They've managed to arrive much sooner than anticipated.

Your officers murmur that if you decide to continue the battle, you will face more than thirty five thousand troops total, most of them well-rested and quite prepared to kill some northern heathens.

A) We cannot retreat! We must press on! I can feel the taste of victory!
B) We ought to retreat for now, lest the Damdamians drown us with numbers.
« Last Edit: May 23, 2019, 01:17:07 pm by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Rockeater

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16189 on: May 23, 2019, 01:27:19 pm »

B
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Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.

Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16190 on: May 23, 2019, 01:33:00 pm »

B - Let them march over a field of their own corpses if they so choose.
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16191 on: May 23, 2019, 02:04:32 pm »

You order a retreat of the Army from the battlefield, so that your forces can regroup.

This allows you to form ranks, establish the lines and position your cavalry at the flanks easily. By the time the Damdamians arrive, your officers and your trops are prepared for another combat. You learn that about four thousand of your soldiers are missing, presumably wounded, dead, or having ignobly fled from the field. That leaves you with about twenty thousand to command.

Still, the army is ready for the fight!

First, you hear the Damdamian battle horns.

Then you can see the Damdamian banners - there's so many banners fluttering above Damdamian troops. They're marching fast, their own horsemen in the far flanks. The large squares and the thick lines advancing upon your position make it clear that the enemy has the numerical superiority - mayhaps even as much as 2:1 against your forces.

The officers are asking what to do now.

A) "Run, run for your lives!"
B) "Onwards, to death or glory!"
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16192 on: May 23, 2019, 02:05:43 pm »

B

there is no turning back now. Let this be the end of it.
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.

Rockeater

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16193 on: May 23, 2019, 02:09:37 pm »

B
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Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.

mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16194 on: May 23, 2019, 02:30:29 pm »

A
I don't know if anyone will agree with me, but I'm just not feeling it. That's a lot of outnumbering, and Caius has a habit of splitting his forces. We may be able to get a better opportunity at another date.
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Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16195 on: May 23, 2019, 03:02:23 pm »

A
I don't know if anyone will agree with me, but I'm just not feeling it. That's a lot of outnumbering, and Caius has a habit of splitting his forces. We may be able to get a better opportunity at another date.

A

Let us retreat into Methiant, and force him into a war of attrition. We don't need to give everything up on a suicide charge.
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Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16196 on: May 23, 2019, 03:04:10 pm »

A
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Baffler

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16197 on: May 23, 2019, 03:45:02 pm »

B. I'm not hopeful of victory, but it doesn't seem like we can get out of here. His troops are less tired than ours and they're already on us, if we retreat he'll most likely just run us down.
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Quote from: Helgoland
Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
Location subject to periodic change.
Baffler likes silver, walnut trees, the color green, tanzanite, and dogs for their loyalty. When possible he prefers to consume beef, iced tea, and cornbread. He absolutely detests ticks.

ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16198 on: May 23, 2019, 03:58:36 pm »

B if we kill a good enough chunk then maybe they'll give up on the crusade and call it a day.
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Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16199 on: May 23, 2019, 04:21:57 pm »

B - We already trashed a good portion of his army. We have the morale advantage at least, so if we made a solid showing Caius' soldiers may flee early.
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