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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 789707 times)

auzewasright

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15870 on: February 26, 2019, 08:51:30 pm »

DB
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auzewasright

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15871 on: February 26, 2019, 08:56:55 pm »

DB
Also, remember Maxim 6: "If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it".
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helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15872 on: February 26, 2019, 10:13:30 pm »


DB
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.

Baffler

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15873 on: February 28, 2019, 12:11:59 am »

DB. We should keep B in mind if our economy is doing okay though, the dwarves owe us a lot of money after all.
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Quote from: Helgoland
Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
Location subject to periodic change.
Baffler likes silver, walnut trees, the color green, tanzanite, and dogs for their loyalty. When possible he prefers to consume beef, iced tea, and cornbread. He absolutely detests ticks.

omada

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15874 on: February 28, 2019, 05:40:27 pm »

DB. We should keep B in mind if our economy is doing okay though, the dwarves owe us a lot of money after all.

owe us? I think it's the other way around
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

Baffler

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15875 on: February 28, 2019, 05:58:13 pm »

Nah, they owe us 2 economy annually for the next 30 years and terminated our loan in exchange for selling them some land on the far end of the Hurthlings' valley for them to build a fortress on.

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Quote from: Helgoland
Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
Location subject to periodic change.
Baffler likes silver, walnut trees, the color green, tanzanite, and dogs for their loyalty. When possible he prefers to consume beef, iced tea, and cornbread. He absolutely detests ticks.

omada

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15876 on: February 28, 2019, 08:45:09 pm »

OH I forgot this
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15877 on: February 28, 2019, 09:10:50 pm »

Still, they would be in as much or even more danger from the southern human supremacists as us.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15878 on: March 01, 2019, 04:33:13 pm »

db db db db db db db
bb bb



You send a messenger to Kingdom of Helliste, and declare that you will lead men into the war!

You bid farewell to your wife and kids, grab the shaft and the sword and the necklace, and listen to cheering of the capital's citizenry as they watch your troop ride through the streets, towards the southern gate.



Congratulations! Houlandin III has embarked upon a military campaign!



Ten days later, you arrive at the main camp of your army.

The situation is as follows: Duchy of Eval has been overrun by Damedian zealots. Temples and holy sites of Pantheon are being burnt and pillaged, commonfolk is being subjected to cruelty and forced conversions. An army of ten thousand 'holy' Damedian warriors and mercenaries does as it pleases in the countryside, and the Council of Princes has fled the capital of the Duchy and most of its members are hiding even from your messengers.

Majority of invading army, however, is marching right towards the Methiantese Army. Led by a renowned general Caius Cuscus, known for his martial prowess and four decades of experience, it seems they want to crush your forces in one battle and then begin conquering. His army is made of almost twenty thousand troops, highly trained and well equipped. Most of Damdamian cavalry and Fireblood machinery is with Caius' forces. Altogether, it seems your Army has slight numerical advantage.

Spies report that there's at least another six-to-eight thousand infantry and auxiliaries marching through Rucus, with more being rallied, camped and outfitted at Rucusian-Damdamian borders.

Your diplomats, sent to court of Rucus, has gone silent. Probably something very unpleasant happened to them.

The Marshal salutes you as the high command gathers for battle preparations.

You decide to...

A) Send a messenger to negotiate with Caius Cuscus. Surely bloodshed can be avoided.
B) Deploy the army in square formation, to make best use of your drilled infantry troops.
C) Send a challenge to Caius Cuscus, demanding a duel!!
D) Mass the army at some easily defensible position, to make best use of Fireblood bombardments.
E) Deploy the army in sprawling formations, to make best use of cavalry and flanking.
F) Retreat northeasternly, to stall the inevitable confrontation date.
« Last Edit: March 01, 2019, 04:35:00 pm by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15879 on: March 01, 2019, 04:42:32 pm »

C. He is old and we have an artifact. The odds can't be much worse than the odds of fighting the war, and a victory this way would be much less costly. High risk, high reward.

Edit: you know what. I like our odds fighting too. The only thing they have to equal us is a martial leader and perhaps equal lifeblood. Martial Disclipline, artifact, and manpower are all in our favor. It is the age of fireblood, so let's give our firblood the advantage.

Im changing my vote to D.
« Last Edit: March 01, 2019, 04:50:56 pm by Weirdsound »
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ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15880 on: March 01, 2019, 04:56:05 pm »

D
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Baffler

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15881 on: March 01, 2019, 05:21:13 pm »

B
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Quote from: Helgoland
Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
Location subject to periodic change.
Baffler likes silver, walnut trees, the color green, tanzanite, and dogs for their loyalty. When possible he prefers to consume beef, iced tea, and cornbread. He absolutely detests ticks.

ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15882 on: March 01, 2019, 05:28:04 pm »

B
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Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15883 on: March 01, 2019, 05:34:26 pm »

D
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15884 on: March 01, 2019, 06:20:50 pm »

D
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