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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 788612 times)

crazyabe

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #13275 on: July 29, 2018, 03:56:54 pm »

A.
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ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #13276 on: July 29, 2018, 04:31:38 pm »

A
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auzewasright

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Such Emperor. So Doge. Much wow.
« Reply #13277 on: July 29, 2018, 04:35:03 pm »

I have the title preemptively changed.
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13278 on: July 29, 2018, 04:56:01 pm »

You reach toward the light. Soon you feel at peace, the light replacing everything, and then you feel nothing at all anymore.

1193 AD

You're Doge, son of Cyl (the one from Cydwyl)!

You're fifteen, and are about to ascend to the throne of Empire of Methiant!

The death of your mother from cancerous tumor sent the Empire into lenghty period of mourning. But her death also had diplomatic repercussions; the Statesmen and Regency Council of Methiant warred (diplomatically of course) against the Court of Cydwyl. Only by your father's interventions and reconcilliatory approach to disputes, both friendship and inheritance deals were kept intact. And fortunately for everyone involved, your aging father is still of good health and good mind, ruling over Kingdom of Cydwyl. Its crown will be placed upon your head when he dies.

The three artifacts - The Coronation Staff, Bracelet of Charisma, and Scepter of Weather - were never recovered. This sparked another crisis, this time involving Dwarves, who were blamed, first for failture of recovery, then for the theft itself. Fortunately, all enmity was waived when the Regency saved up some money and commissioned another Scepter of Weather from dwarves of Uristhab just one and half year ago.

A catastrophe struck in years 1187-1189 AD; plague swept into Empire of Methiant and Kingdom of Eldrican, brought most probably by nomadic tribes of northern Eldrican. The plague depleted the nomadic tribes and decimated population of both Eldrican and Methiant. Kingdom of Eldrican lost three consecutive Kings in span of half a year; currently, it is ruled by Regency council, which is keeping watch over the young Tetan IV, born shortly after death of your mother. On Methiant side, you lost several of your relatives.

But the dynasty is growing; your uncle, Deathan, already has a heir, the little Duach. Uncle Hein wasn't slacking off either and got another daughter, too!

In matters of religion, the obvious happened; in year 1191, with help of the Council's nagging and Cydwylian (or rather, your father's) support, the Pantheonism was finally recognized and made the state religion of Empire of Methiant. Singularists and Alldivinists maintain a weak hold on southwest and southeast provinces respectively, but the 110+ gods of Pantheon receive most of prayers of Methiantese subjects nowadays.

From other legislative news; deterioration of relation with Cydwyl and trade abroad has made the Regency revoked the edict that kept Trade Commission around, in 1186 AD. Methiantese neighbours opened up to its wares, and so, in 1188 AD, luxurious furs and skins procured by Albionese hunters land on the backs of your noblemen in exchange for localy mined gemstones of high quality.

One special note must be made about Gubta, or as it is now called, Sim Empire; its revolutionary emperor, Mahjar Sim, has refurbished the administration and quelled all revolts and opposition to his enlightened rule. Sim Empire was proclaimed with its four borderland Mahjoos, or autonomous kingdoms (vassals basically). He then waged war against the Ysirene, who called Damedia for help; but the Damdamians were utterly crushed by Mahjar Sim's Oliphaunts as well as mercenary armies and loyal soldiers dragging Fireblood machinery behind them. In 1190, a costly peace treaty saw all territories that Ysirene once taken brought back under Simese rule, and the tribute money is still filling up Mahjar Sim's Treasury.

Quote
1, 0, 0, 1

The economy of Methiant was doing great so far, although the loss of gold mines had forced the Council to put some brakes on spending. Little was built, made or bought during the times of you growing up, except aforementioned Scepter of Weather. People also felt less inclined to both procreate and settle in Methiant, and currently the population of the Empire is even less of what it was before the plague.

What good news there are for you?

Quote
2, 6; 1, 4, 5

For one, you're considered some sort of a genius, especially of martial skill, and people have noticed your extremely good health and the fact that luck seems to shine upon you.

Any faults? Well, what can you say... it is might be that you're too eager to partake in bodily pleasures. When you first tasted the fruit of sex last year, with that lovely bedchamber maid, you couldn't help but to crave more. Maidgirls, noble maidens, servant girls; and you even braved the unknown and slept around with few stable boys and young squires. Courtiers are more or less openly labeling you a hedonist, but hey; life is supposed to be fun, and sex is fun, therefore life = sex, right?

Of course you're right, you're Emperor of Methiant!

You don't hesitate for long about your regnal name. Since before the Plague, some kinds made fun of you and made 'woof woof' noises behind your back. What made your mother bestow upon you a name so closely resembling canines, you don't know. But you hate your name.

You quickly sign the document of ascension as Yoe IV.

Long Live Yoe IV, Emperor of Methiant, King of Felonsein and Ceodwell, Overlord of Donuth, Eval and Tiftit!

And here is the old chap, the Advisor, himself! And in his hands, the Scrolls of Kingdom Status!

Happiness: 7
Population: 4
Economy: 4
Army: 10!
Imp.Authority: 0

Those are quite good, and the Advisor assures you that with Statesmen and the Crown of Heavens on your head, the authority will soon recover.

1193 AD, Spring

"Inflation?" You furrow your brows. The Advisor shakes his head, The Treasurer sighs, the Trade Advisor glares at them both.

"We have been minting too much coin in recent decades. There has been so many coins lately that I saw beggars discarding dirty ones into the moat." Nobody believes the Treasurer, but as you glance on the ledger, seeing that fine meal price go up by an eighth in span of five years... yep, inflation is here.



Inflation appears in Empire of Methiant! It currently has a factor of 1/8, meaning that for each 8 points of 'End of the Year' expenses, another 1 point of expenses is generated.

Currently, inflation amounts to -1 Economy per year.



"So what are our options?"

"Well," The Trade Advisor begins. "We ought to accept the inflation as a thing. If we moderate our expenses and find a way to disperse the gold and silver we have, our economy will surely improve."

"We ought to strike at this menace before it becomes an uncontrollable calamity." Says the Treasurer. "We need to re-evaluate our currency and replace the old coins with new ones, using a strict exchange rate." The Advisor shakes his head.

"We simply can't! Such a move will upset everyone in the Empire; from merchants, to taxpayers, to noblemen and administrators."

You decide to...

A) Just accept the existence of inflation in Methiant.
B) Fight inflation by the way of currency reevaluation scheme.
C) -

//It's getting late so first post will be updated tomorrow, sorry!
« Last Edit: July 29, 2018, 11:48:05 pm by Haspen »
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Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13279 on: July 29, 2018, 05:04:35 pm »

A
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Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13280 on: July 29, 2018, 05:05:32 pm »

B - The people are happy. They can suck it up for the good of the empire and the economy.
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ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13281 on: July 29, 2018, 05:08:11 pm »

B
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Qassius

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13282 on: July 29, 2018, 05:11:29 pm »

B
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Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13283 on: July 29, 2018, 05:11:37 pm »

B
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13284 on: July 29, 2018, 05:24:15 pm »

B *Prophet sees the words Genius, Martial, Health, and Luck*... I've never been happier about a good rulers death before. Also I'd like to point out that we're the son of Cyl of Cydwyl not Bjern.  :P [Our father the King of Cydwyl is named Cyl after his great grandfather/grandfather Cyl the Great of Methiant right? I was pretty sure he was?]

Edit: Also also just noticed that Pantheonism is the state religion. Huzzah! May the light of Luathbasian Pantheonism safeguard us from the evils of Damed worship forever.
« Last Edit: July 29, 2018, 05:32:44 pm by Prophet »
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

auzewasright

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13285 on: July 29, 2018, 05:38:40 pm »

B *Prophet sees the words Genius, Martial, Health, and Luck*... I've never been happier about a good rulers death before. Also I'd like to point out that we're the son of Cyl of Cydwyl not Bjern.  :P [Our father the King of Cydwyl is named Cyl after his great grandfather/grandfather Cyl the Great of Methiant right? I was pretty sure he was?]

Edit: Also also just noticed that Pantheonism is the state religion. Huzzah! May the light of Luathbasian Pantheonism safeguard us from the evils of Damed worship forever.
May pantheonism die out and be replaced by that of the one.
B
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crazyabe

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13286 on: July 29, 2018, 05:43:48 pm »

B.
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birdy51

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13287 on: July 29, 2018, 06:00:50 pm »

Also, hedonism! I suggest that we make many extra lives heirs with this one!
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BIRDS.

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Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13288 on: July 29, 2018, 06:41:33 pm »

Also, hedonism! I suggest that we make many extra lives heirs with this one!

Lets not start acknowledging bastards until we have a wife and a legit heir or two. We might skeeve out Cydwyl and mess up the unification if we make some half-commoner first in line to the throne.

Also, we should probably break tradition and marry some local highborn instead of a foreign princess. That way when we jeopardize our marriage we will not be messing up regional geopolitics.

Anyway, B.
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helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13289 on: July 29, 2018, 06:57:42 pm »

B
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.
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