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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 787338 times)

Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12015 on: June 06, 2018, 10:06:39 am »

AA Peasants rights are for republican dogs like those intolerable Damdamians. First it's rights then it's representation! They might even talk about... voting! *Prophet shivers in disgust* We must never let the evil influences of Damdamian Republicanism tarnish our glorious and honorable Monarchy!
Logged
.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12016 on: June 06, 2018, 10:14:37 am »

AB

AA Peasants rights are for republican dogs like those intolerable Damdamians. First it's rights then it's representation! They might even talk about... voting! *Prophet shivers in disgust* We must never let the evil influences of Damdamian Republicanism tarnish our glorious and honorable Monarchy!

I'm not as violently opposed to a Bill of Rights as this, but I think such a radical change is a stupid idea while we are working on peacefully merging our nation with our husband's.

That said, what edict do you AA people who don't want rights plan to vote for? Cartography?
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12017 on: June 06, 2018, 10:16:27 am »

MILITARY EDICTS:

Matters of military hierarchy, philosophy of war and development of military tech.

-

BUREAUCRATIC EDICTS:

Matters of administration and government.

Issue the Bill of Rights:
A standarized code of basic laws of the common peoples. Even if peasants will have nothing else left, they will always have their basic freedoms, helping ease their minds in times of emergency - and perhaps allow the spirit of liberty and humanism to blossom (for good or worse).

Establish Passage Tax: (once in effect: 1142 - 1169 AD)
All those travelers, adventurers, merchants and others are moving through the country for free! Let's establish a tax for those entering and leaving our country - this will earn us nice profits each year, although it might slow down immigration and convince some merchants to seek passage through elsewhere.

CULTURAL EDICTS:

Matters of religion, culture and art.

Establish Calendar of Festivities:
Rather than throw a festival every few years to celebrate a bontiful harvest, let's instead establish a cyclic and stable calendar of state-sponsored festivities for the whole year. This will cause a drain on the Treasury, but hey - people love festivals!

Establish Royal School of Cartography:
People come from near and far, yet we know little of the places they visit, the royal scribes clinging to rumors, hearsays and random tales of strangers. A proper society of cartographers and scholars at the House of Learning could help expand our knowledge about the region, and the continent - who knows, maybe entire world in the far future!

Proclaim Religious Equality: (once in effect: 1135 - 1172 AD)
Travelers, merchants, immigrants; they all bring new beliefs and philosophies into the country. Rather than fight those foreign influences, it might be best to allow all peoples free worship on equal level no matter the size and beliefs of the congregation, to help all different worshippers achieve a certain degree to harmony and peace.
ENFORCED REVOCATION: Prevents this Edict from being choosen again for at least 10 years after revocation.

Establish Religion Tax: (once in effect: 1154 - 1172 AD)
Various congregations are given away territories and various tax exemptions for those. With erosion of religious influences upon the state, its prime opportunity to dip our hand into prime source of income that is donations and tithes gathered by those numerous cults present in the empire. It will surely not please them, and, by extension, your subjects.
ENFORCED REVOCATION: Prevents this Edict from being choosen again for at least 10 years after revocation.

---

REVOKE EDICT: Revokes a previously implemented edict, either to cut spending, appease some disgruntled subjects, or both. On the other hand, it might tick off some other peoples, potentially causing a deadly cascade of discontent.

Late Spring, 1135 AD: Established the Fireblood Court:
Creation of a specialized military branch devoted purely to development of Fireblood arms to ensure they are aplenty and of best designs around. This will allow to centralize the production, research and budgeting of Fireblood weaponry rather than having some errant alchemists and engineers running around, trying to make things happen.

End of Year 1139 AD: Established Recruitment Offices:
Mandatory training for youths is a good thing, but after bloodier-than-usual wars, there might be shortage of men to replenish the ranks. If we were to expand on the royal bureaucracy to include offices for traveling civilian recruiters and offer citizenship grants for mercenaries and travelers looking for a new home, our Army could refill its ranks much faster.

End of Year 1140 AD: Established The Council of Statesmen:
Creation of a small council of governmental officials who will be tasked with helping the government run smoother alongside traditional advisors, and, of course, the monarch himself. This will help strengthen the Imperial Authority, even in dire times, and help pass edicts quicker, although giving even more political power away from the throne than in the past might become a source of troubles one day.

End of Year 1146 AD: Established Diplomatic Corps:
Creation of a small but highly professional cabinet of diplomats and ambassadors that would visit neighbouring countries on regular basis to strengthen ties with nearby rulers and their nobles, and maybe even develop favorable treaties with them.

Summer 1152 AD: Issued the Codex of Training Regimen:
A set of efficient (and slightly draconian) requirements and practices of training to ensure that the Army gets only the best recruits of them all. This will make the Army much better in combat, although there might be a problem to fill yearly recruitment quotas sometimes.

End of Year 1153 AD: Established the Shadowranks:
Politics often involve underhanded tactics. A castle full of commoner staff and visiting foreigners just asks for a disaster to occur. Let's have the military form a professional division of most loyal of soldiers, who would protect the Emperor, his family and important state officials, during the day, night, war, peace, revelries of festivals and monotony of daily life.

End of Year 1156 AD: Expanded Primogeniture Law:
A string of bad luck can render a monarch without a male heir or cause succession debates. Rather than risk some unpleasant consequences of such a situation, it might be better to allow a skilled female to ascend to the throne, especially if she is as good at matters of the governance as any other ruler.

End of Year 1158 AD: Enacted Settlement Policy:
Guarantee that those willing to settle in previously undeveloped lands or territories yet unclaimed by any nation will be given a certain amount of money to help further their effort. However, this might cause a severe drain on the Treasury, especially during times of sudden, mass migrations to the countryside.

End of Year 1159 AD: Introduced Elective Succession Laws:
Sometimes a firstborn might be below average in terms of his skills to rule the nation, but there might be no other alternatives left, even amongst females. Elective Succession will allow the monarch to select the most skilled to inherit the throne, even a distant (or foreign!) relative of the successor, although this might cause problems with less gifted yet highly ambitious relatives of the next ruler, as well as local nobility.

Late Autumn, 1160 AD: Proclaimed Dissolution of Cloisters:
There are some faiths that are living and dwelling in estates and keeps that once belonged to the Crown, hoarding wealth within! We should force them out, restoring the important buildings to our governance as well as profiting from the stored treasures. Obviously, the worshippers of the faiths in question will be angry about this.

End of Year 1164 AD: Established The Royal House of Learning:
Scholars scribbling down books in secluded libraries and scriptories should be a thing of the past! Let's instead establish a centre of learning, where those of intellect can exchange ideas and educate those willing to learn. It will help the nation develop technologically, although maintenance of this beacon of enlightenment will obviously require yearly costs.

End of Year 1166 AD: Adopted Fireblood Infantry Tactics:
Fireblood weapons are currently slow to load and rather inaccurate, but even one in dozen of shots is bound to hit someone. Some believe that infantry should be given hand-held Fireblood weapons, which would be fired en masse against the enemy before melee combat, while horsemen equipped with melee weapons attack the flanks in glorious charges or mows down those who were lucky to survive the rain of hot iron.

End of Year 1167 AD: Established Imperial Trade Commission:
To ensure stricter and better control of trade in the Empire and through its borders, an imperial guild of trade and commerce should be created. Its officials will keep an ever-vigilant eye on market trends, supply and demand, as well as establish and maintain favorable tariffs and taxes on goods, and help our merchants gain upper hand over foreigners. Hopefully, they will avoid price gouging, corruption, favoritism and other nasty things.

End of Year 1174 AD: Endorsed State Patronage of Arts:
To help develop the nation culturally, set aside certain amount of budget money to sponsor sculptors, poets, musicians and painters. It will be a constant drain on the Treasury, but think of how prestigious your nation will become, what with those masterpieces of art popping left and right!
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12018 on: June 06, 2018, 10:21:27 am »

CARTOGRAPHY

Hey, Haspen, next time, could we perhaps get an edict to declare that dynasties will no longer be reckoned exclusively by the male bloodline, but instead, children inherit whichever parental dynasty is more important? That way, even though Ruberta will never be a member of the Yoean dynasty, at least her daughters' descendants can be.
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12019 on: June 06, 2018, 10:25:30 am »

I will consider it.
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12020 on: June 06, 2018, 10:26:16 am »

Cartography
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Lucus Casius

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12021 on: June 06, 2018, 10:27:49 am »

Cartography
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12022 on: June 06, 2018, 10:35:35 am »

Establish Royal School of Cartography Maps!
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12023 on: June 06, 2018, 10:42:19 am »

Establish Royal School of Cartography

Maybe we can ask them to concentrate on economic data to point our diplomats in the direction of the most promising trade routes?
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Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12024 on: June 06, 2018, 11:01:38 am »

Establish Royal School of Cartography
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birdy51

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12025 on: June 06, 2018, 11:24:26 am »

Cartography!
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BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses

helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12026 on: June 06, 2018, 12:14:41 pm »

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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12027 on: June 06, 2018, 12:31:41 pm »

You decide to hoard the money and raise taxes for a year, as well as establish a cartography guild under Royal House of Learning.

1177 AD, Spring

Cydwyl, Helliste and Methiantese armies fought against Rosamana's troops on eve of new year! The battle is said to have as many as thirty thousand fighters total, most of them on side of westerners. The battle was won with high casualties; Kris Androvin was captured and executed, but Rosamana, who was supposedly leading the army, was not found; few captives' say she is with raiders in eastern outskirts of Helliste.

The battle also saw Helliste's new ruler, King Aubjorn, participate; a young and ambitious lad of scant fifteen winters, a cousin of the Helliste's King slain last year.

Quote
5to6

Silverwork brought very, very nice profits from local Methiantese markets.

1177 AD, Mid-Spring

Your brother-in-law, Hein, became father once more! His wife Irvalina gave birth to a lovely girl that she named 'Darenna'.

1177 AD, Late Spring

Urgent report from Parsia!

While most of action against Rosamana takes place in Helliste, a new army under the banner of winged serpent arrived to lay waste to Parsian villages, under Kris Shostakovik. Parsians once again ask for help.

A) Sorry, my Army's busy elsewhere.
B) I will mobilize my subjects and send reinforcements to Parsia!
C) I'm sure Parsians can win if only we send them some money and supplies.
D) Time to signal the Army to come back south, then.
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12028 on: June 06, 2018, 12:33:59 pm »

B
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Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12029 on: June 06, 2018, 12:34:20 pm »

C
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