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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 777924 times)

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #5025 on: December 19, 2017, 08:25:02 am »

You try to discuss possible marriage arrangements and family relationships.

Quote
4*

It is hard to convince him. King Daric veils his intentions well but its obvious he doesn't like the fact that a heir to Kingdom of Methiant married a commoner. Considering he spoke about value of progeny, you wonder if he views death of Tywynn in bad light also.

"Though one of my youngest cousins by mother's side, Lady Aulen, is approaching twenty years of age and has yet to find a husband, and she confided in me she would prefer a foreigner for a husband. That lad of yours, Ustwelf? Could be well-suited as her groom."

"When he grows up." You add.

"And doesn't get killed." You briefly consider King Daric secretly being a dragon.

A) Fine, that works for me. Ustwelf will marry Aulen in few years' time.
B) Ustwelf seems enamored with Deanna, Daric's niece, wouldn't she be a better match for him?
C) Absolutely terrible idea, that won't do!
« Last Edit: December 19, 2017, 08:46:47 am by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #5026 on: December 19, 2017, 08:32:38 am »

A Yeah, Ustwelf's Luck doesn't run that good.
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Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #5027 on: December 19, 2017, 08:39:54 am »

B
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Iituem

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #5028 on: December 19, 2017, 08:52:10 am »

B) Love!
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

No slaughtering every man, woman and child we see just to teleport to the moon.

crazyabe

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #5029 on: December 19, 2017, 09:00:48 am »

B.
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Quote from: MonkeyMarkMario, 2023
“Don’t quote me.”
nothing here.

Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #5030 on: December 19, 2017, 09:02:51 am »

B This family is all about love. Tywynn loved fighting, Leath loves pickpockets and we loved stomping on Ceodwell.
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Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #5031 on: December 19, 2017, 09:18:05 am »

And dwarves.
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IamanElfCollaborator

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melkor

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #5033 on: December 19, 2017, 11:40:37 am »

A
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Quote from: Robocorn
what do postdwarvenists do with goblins?

Quote from: Andreus
We slaughter them by the thousands.
But... you know, we do it ironically.

helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #5034 on: December 19, 2017, 11:45:43 am »

B
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.

Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #5035 on: December 19, 2017, 01:03:53 pm »

B
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Puppyguard

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #5036 on: December 19, 2017, 01:07:41 pm »

B
A happy son is a useful son.
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Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #5037 on: December 19, 2017, 02:06:38 pm »

B
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Lucus Casius

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #5038 on: December 19, 2017, 02:31:39 pm »

A. Don't push your luck.  Not like love is a necessary or even particularly important factor in a good marriage, anyway.
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #5039 on: December 19, 2017, 02:41:21 pm »

You try to convince King Daric to give Deanna to Ustwelf instead.

Quote
1*

Either by drunkiness or your nagging, your host gets angry with you. Uttering some kind of vulgar phrase, he turns away from you.

"I had enough of discussion. Let's return to drinking!"

You take a bitter sip of your wine, having scored 0 out of 2 bethrothals for your third son. Oops!

By the next day, you learn what your courtiers managed to learn.

Apparently, the Kingdom of Eldrican was at one point indebted to the dwarves, having borrowed large sums of money in the first decade of 1100s. Only after several years of fasting they had the ability to repay the dwarves and avoid their wrath.

You also learn that, sadly, in recent half-century the animist religions of the post-Khanate settlements, as well as the local sects of Pantheon have been quickly losing ground to the Cult of Damed, which was introduced by Elran II, and his descendants only helped proselytize this foreign cult to grow, although the successive monarchs were able to greatly curb on Damedian xenophobic tendencies (Eldrican close relationship with dwarves must be at fault for this!)

Also also, you learn what's the real stuff with those Aelsass' Sorrows plateau in the far west; apparently, Aelsass I, nephew of Elran I, messed up some magical artifact real good, in insane hopes it would grant him magic powers of the Sorceress that created the artifact for him. The catastrophic blaze in the summer and subsequent 'green, luminescent snow' in the winter rendered the once fertile region into a brownish wasteland where water is poisonous and ground barren of any plant life. 'Another reason to not get involved with magic', your wife says.

Also to the power of three, you learn that Prawlant, Calvendocia and Eldrican were once allied against the Atulak Khanate. But as soon as the nomad hegemony was broken, the slimy Calvendocians, arrogant Eldricans and greedy Prawlantese quickly descended into three-way war, and since then there was little friendship between the three nations.

Three days after your arrival, it is time to head home.

But Ustwelf approaches you as you finish dressing up, his eyes sparkling like those of a madman in love.

"Father, I beseech you! Help me gain the hand of beautiful Deanna, niece of King Daric! Since my eyes fell upon her beauty, my heart has been seized." You rub your chin thoughtfully.

A) Maybe the arrangements about Deanna could be re-done?
B) Maybe there's still chance for initial offer to have Ustwelf married to Lady Aulen?
C) Maybe it's time to break news to Ustwelf, hard way.
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.
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