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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 776825 times)

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4275 on: December 03, 2017, 05:57:02 am »

You decide to keep taxes on their normal level.

1125 AD, Spring

The guards, nay, the whole of courtyard is in state of awe, terror and surprise, because elves has come!

Your courtiers do not believe the guard who brought the message, until six slender figures with bright hair, flowing white robes and pointy ears step through the gates. Only the elf at the front comes empty handed; the rest has small gilded boxes in their hands.

The elf pulls out a small scepter with a blue gemstone on top from within his robe and points it at you.

A) Assassin! It's a magic weapon! Get him guards!
B) Surely must be some sort of greeting gesture.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2017, 05:59:18 am by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

10ebbor10

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4276 on: December 03, 2017, 06:00:02 am »

B
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Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4277 on: December 03, 2017, 06:04:18 am »

B
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Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4278 on: December 03, 2017, 06:06:45 am »

B

Gonna veer toward them being on the level since we did murder a ton of dwarves fairly recently. Elves love that shit, you know.
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birdy51

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4279 on: December 03, 2017, 06:37:06 am »

B

I mean, he's still here to kill us, but whatevs.
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BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4280 on: December 03, 2017, 07:01:22 am »

He then raises the scepter to the ceiling and then points it to the floor.

"Greetings, human monarch. I, Tesofili, speak with authority of Queen Estomelolilelo. The news of the destruction of the dwarven fortress of Thrice-Gilded has reached our ears, and we're most grateful that expansion of dwarf has been slowed. You didn't only stop expansion, you also destroyed one of their fabled wall cities, something none of you humans did for centuries."

The elves behind him move to the front and place five chests on the stone floor. First chest is opened and contains tightly packed cloaks made of dark green fiber.

"Thes are moonthread cloaks, fifty of them to be exact. They allow the wearer to become almost invisible amongst trees or in darkness." When did the Spymaster approach your throne? You didn't call him, but look at him, all happy. Strange guy.

The second chest is opened, and it contains a beige nut or seed as large as a fist of a child.

"This is the seed of the Leloli tree. If you plant it in your courtyard, and allow it to grow, the tree will protect the dwellers of this keep from illness and terrible wounds."

The third chest is opened, and it contains a simple, bright green tunic, criss-crossed with silvery thread.

"This is the tunic strengthened with lakemetal threads. Naught but strongest of blows can penetrate the cloth stitched this way, and dwarven magickery is all but repelled by it."

The fourth chest is opened, and it contains a cage with large lizard with triangular jaws and fur, of a lovely steely-blueish coloration.

"This is a Se'gal, a pet that is as vicious as it is loyal, fast and smart. We use them for hunting prey amongst the woods, or as pets, and there has been instances of them mauling down assassins during their owner's sleep."

The fifth chest is opened, and it contains, unsurprisingly, a large pile of various gemstones, mostly of opaque and semi-ornamental type, although Treasurer has hurried to your side to inform you that he spies some emeralds and peridots amongst the pile.

"Gemstones, all of them valuable and beautiful."

Tesofili clasps his hands together.

"You have done two good deeds, and therefore Queen Estomelolilelo wishes to grant you two rewards. Tell us, King, what is of interest for you."

As for the first reward...

A) Fifty Moonthread cloaks.
B) Seed of Leloli tree.
C) Lakemetal Thread tunic.
D) Se'gal fur-lizard.
E) Lovely gemstones.

As for the second reward...

A) Fifty Moonthread cloaks.
B) Seed of Leloli tree.
C) Lakemetal Thread tunic.
D) Se'gal fur-lizard.
E) Lovely gemstones.

//In this particular voting please remember you cannot pick the same choice twice.
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4281 on: December 03, 2017, 07:05:06 am »

A and B. Spymaster's been doing good work lately and could use a kickback, and fuck Swamp Fever and/or dwarven curses.
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Twinwolf

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4282 on: December 03, 2017, 07:38:58 am »

A, because they served us well the last time we had some.

C. The tree's nice, but we already have the sorceress blessing.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2017, 07:56:04 am by Twinwolf »
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Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4283 on: December 03, 2017, 07:41:38 am »

I was leaning toward the lizard too, but I have no idea how long it's going to live whereas the tree could presumably last a century or more.
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4284 on: December 03, 2017, 07:44:12 am »

A) boosts spy missions
B) sounds like it overlaps with good old Uncle Luath's that one guy's, whose name is not used, health sorcery. Although it should keep the maids from turning into space lobsters too, I think.
C) would make it more viable to lead troops ourselves without worrying about fatality. I wonder if the curse protection is personal or extends in a range.
D) useful, but what is it's lifespan? (= Cyl's if I had a pure guess. "Loyal.") There's only one. (Makes me worried that something is planned . . .)
E) money, money, money

I pick A and C . . . no, B . . . no, C . . . ah! . . . B
« Last Edit: December 03, 2017, 08:00:49 am by mightymushroom »
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Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4285 on: December 03, 2017, 07:46:02 am »

What? No choice to kill them all and steal them all?
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4286 on: December 03, 2017, 07:47:36 am »

I was leaning toward the lizard too, but I have no idea how long it's going to live whereas the tree could presumably last a century or more.
Trees, especially magical elven trees, should last for multiple centuries if not millennia.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2017, 07:51:48 am by mightymushroom »
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Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4287 on: December 03, 2017, 07:51:18 am »

Also you just know that lizard is going to eat a servant or something at some point. Not to mention that shielding us from terrible wounds is, like, 80% of the protection from assassination you can envision. Just hope our radioactive health powers don't somehow fuck the tree up and we should be pretty much golden.
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4288 on: December 03, 2017, 07:54:17 am »

The lizard is specifically described as "smart" so I don't think it will make a mistake like that.
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Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #4289 on: December 03, 2017, 07:56:03 am »

D twice. Get breeding pair. Profit.

A and C
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