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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 776949 times)

melkor

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Luath of Methiant!
« Reply #2385 on: October 31, 2017, 05:22:03 pm »

C
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Quote from: Robocorn
what do postdwarvenists do with goblins?

Quote from: Andreus
We slaughter them by the thousands.
But... you know, we do it ironically.

Draignean

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Luath of Methiant!
« Reply #2386 on: October 31, 2017, 05:42:04 pm »

C
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I have a degree in Computer Seance, that means I'm officially qualified to tell you that the problem with your system is that it's possessed by Satan.
---
Q: "Do you have any idea what you're doing?"
A: "No, not particularly."

Baffler

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Luath of Methiant!
« Reply #2387 on: October 31, 2017, 05:50:10 pm »

C.
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Quote from: Helgoland
Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
Location subject to periodic change.
Baffler likes silver, walnut trees, the color green, tanzanite, and dogs for their loyalty. When possible he prefers to consume beef, iced tea, and cornbread. He absolutely detests ticks.

omada

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Luath of Methiant!
« Reply #2388 on: October 31, 2017, 06:50:10 pm »

B
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Luath of Methiant!
« Reply #2389 on: October 31, 2017, 09:07:43 pm »

C
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Luath of Methiant!
« Reply #2390 on: November 01, 2017, 05:42:27 am »

You declare that taxes for peasantry shall be raised till you're satisfied with wealth gathered.

1103 AD, Spring

Quote
3

The decision to raise taxes was a catalyst for massive drop of loyalty amongst your peasants. Apparently, years of good rule didn't prepare them for the fact they might need to reward you for your love-handed approach at ruling. At least no one is openly rebelling at the moment.

1103 AD, Summer

The dreaded swamp fever, which kills 8 out of 10 children and leaves the 9th crippled, has seized Yra, your youngest child!

Quote
4

Yra is still alive, but the healers are running around her 24/7 to keep her alive. Your wife cries her eyes out because someone at your court is saying that Yra should be killed to cut her painful existence short.

You decide to...

A) Demand that the healers try every herb they know to combat this wicked disease.
B) Tell the healers to give Yra a sleeping agent and then poison her so she dies in her sleep.
C) -
Logged
SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

melkor

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Luath of Methiant!
« Reply #2391 on: November 01, 2017, 05:55:29 am »

A
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Quote from: Robocorn
what do postdwarvenists do with goblins?

Quote from: Andreus
We slaughter them by the thousands.
But... you know, we do it ironically.

Kashyyk

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  • One letter short of a wookie
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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Luath of Methiant!
« Reply #2392 on: November 01, 2017, 07:46:46 am »

I wanna know what C is...

Anyway, A. Anything for our daughter.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Luath of Methiant!
« Reply #2393 on: November 01, 2017, 07:53:18 am »

I wanna know what C is...

Probably the Wise option. Or the Alcoholic option to tell them to do whatever and go off to your quarters to drink yourself into a stupor.

That said, A!
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crazyabe

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Luath of Methiant!
« Reply #2394 on: November 01, 2017, 08:10:42 am »

A.
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Quote from: MonkeyMarkMario, 2023
“Don’t quote me.”
nothing here.

Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Luath of Methiant!
« Reply #2395 on: November 01, 2017, 10:37:33 am »

A
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Luath of Methiant!
« Reply #2396 on: November 01, 2017, 10:54:05 am »

You demand from the healers to try any, ANY herb of medicinal use to battle the disease. You cannot lose your daughter!

Quote
5

She lives! After a week of tough battle, Yra is cured of the swamp fever. She is weak and less lively than before. The healers beleive there might be problems with her development in the future, but nothing's certain.

She is alive and that's what counts.

1103 AD, Midsummer

Kingdom of Ionith is no more; its young, childless King died after a long illness, and Queen Dogethe issued a letter to his courtiers, demanding that they turn over the land into her hands. Facing potential pretender wars and Cydwyl armies, the Ionith nobility surrendered the territories Queen Dogethe. Her kingdom expands once more.

Meanwhile, the Fireblood caravan arrives in your capital city, supplying your alchemists with new ingredients.

1103 AD, Autumn

Your magistrates all report that the bureaucratic reform has been implemented! New offices ensure that the Kingdom will be running smoothly and efficiently!



Congratulations! Bureaucratic Reform has been implemented.

Population of 6 or more will now grant extra taxes at the end of the year (previously it required 8 Population).
Other reforms will be passed more quickly, and with less possibilities for something to go wrong.



1103 AD, Mid-Autumn

A most surprising turn of events has occured, because a delegation of Hurthlings, living in isolation for almost a century, has just arrived at your capital!

The stout ltitle people are all clad in pink woolen cloaks with chainmail hiding underneath them. They're clean-shaven and look at you with certain contempt.

"Griitings, hooman King Luath! Our masters, the Tiftit Family, saw no choice but to turn to you big ones for help. Our land is suffering from lack of foods. Pliise, show your kindness, hooman, and provide us with grain. The Hurthlings will not forget it." Your courtiers of course discuss this lively amongst themselves; according to the folk tales, Hurthlings are supposed to be masters of agriculture. For them to suffer famine or crop failure, is truly a catastrophic event.

You decide to...

A) Dismiss the Hurthlings, as you will have nothing to do with them.
B) Send them a single caravan of grain, but nothing more.
C) Attempt to negotiate a payment for your grain first.
Logged
SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Luath of Methiant!
« Reply #2397 on: November 01, 2017, 10:59:26 am »

C

If we can exchange food for agricultural knowledge (which I hope they did not lose) or just access to their lands for our traders we can truly start rebuilding.  If we get nothing we can always just give em some food for now.

With our charisma, outright insulting them should be a difficult thing to do.

Iituem

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Luath of Methiant!
« Reply #2398 on: November 01, 2017, 11:08:35 am »

C, since it's the only option that lets us send more than one caravan of grain.
Logged
Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

No slaughtering every man, woman and child we see just to teleport to the moon.

Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Luath of Methiant!
« Reply #2399 on: November 01, 2017, 11:09:30 am »

Sweet. I think we've got enough population for that tax bonus now, so we shouldn't have to worry about running out of money due to all of our trade deals.

C sounds good, for both the reasons above.
Logged
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