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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 788907 times)

Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #8355 on: March 17, 2018, 02:17:41 pm »

B
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #8356 on: March 17, 2018, 02:27:43 pm »

B
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.

mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #8357 on: March 17, 2018, 02:40:32 pm »

C
One side branch to another sounds like a reasonable match. If Valhelma doesn't like it she should do her own politicking.
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ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #8358 on: March 17, 2018, 03:05:31 pm »

B
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #8359 on: March 17, 2018, 03:18:14 pm »

You forward the reply to Valhelma.

1151 AD, End of the Year

Is it the end of the year already? Huh, feels like it was few days since the last time the Advisor brought you the Scrolls of Kingdom Status. And here he is again indeed, with those thick scrolls in his hands...

Quote
1to3, 2to6

Happiness: 5
Population: 6
Economy: 3
Army: 8
Imp.Authority: -1

You let out a lengthy sigh at the sight of these numbers. Then you scratch your nose. Nothing to really work here with.

"Unfortunately this year wasn't good for neither our recruiters nor statesmen, as smaller than usually number of travelers joined the Army, and people are still somewhat unruly. Still, the Kingdom is working well at the moment."

"Also, the royal scribes have finished updating the royal map, and compiled a very rough sketch of the Orcworld as we know it."


You put down the map of Orcworld and stare at the Advisor.

"Like I said, my liege, a very rough sketch, it is. Do you wish to issue an Edict this year, my liege?"

A) "Sure thing."
B) "Not now."
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #8360 on: March 17, 2018, 03:22:29 pm »

A

Clearly we need to absorb Cydwyl and then Helliste, so we can have access to the sea.
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Arlos

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #8361 on: March 17, 2018, 03:30:16 pm »

B

We don’t have the money to sustain another edict.
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Lucus Casius

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #8362 on: March 17, 2018, 03:31:41 pm »

A

Might be a good idea to end one of the expensive edicts, though.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #8363 on: March 17, 2018, 03:37:26 pm »

A

We can kill the Recruitment Offices at the very least (although the Bill of Rights would still be cool to have and no I will never stop saying that thank you very much)
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Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #8364 on: March 17, 2018, 03:54:20 pm »

A
We could have our temple tax and later the bill of rights.
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #8365 on: March 17, 2018, 04:27:23 pm »

MILITARY EDICTS:

Matters of military hierarchy, philosophy of war and development of military tech.

Issue the Codex of Training Regimen:
A set of efficient (and slightly draconian) requirements and practices of training to ensure that the Army gets only the best recruits of them all. This will make the Army much better in combat, although there might be a problem to fill yearly recruitment quotas sometimes.

Establish the Shadowranks:
Politics often involve underhanded tactics. A castle full of commoner staff and visiting foreigners just asks for a disaster to occur. Let's have the military form a professional division of most loyal of soldiers, who would protect the Emperor, his family and important state officials, during the day, night, war, peace, revelries of festivals and monotony of daily life.

BUREAUCRATIC EDICTS:

Matters of administration and government.

Expand Primogeniture Law:
A string of bad luck can render a monarch without a male heir or cause succession debates. Rather than risk some unpleasant consequences of such a situation, it might be better to allow a skilled female to ascend to the throne, especially if she is as good at matters of the governance as any other ruler.

Issue the Bill of Rights:
A standarized code of basic laws of the common peoples. Even if peasants will have nothing else left, they will always have their basic freedoms, helping ease their minds in times of emergency - and perhaps allow the spirit of liberty and humanism to blossom (for good or worse).

Enact Settlement Policy:
Guarantee that those willing to settle in previously undeveloped lands or territories yet unclaimed by any nation will be given a certain amount of money to help further their effort. However, this might cause a severe drain on the Treasury, especially during times of sudden, mass migrations to the countryside.

Establish Religion Tax:
Various congregations are given away territories and various tax exemptions for those. With erosion of religious influences upon the state, its prime opportunity to dip our hand into prime source of income that is donations and tithes gathered by those numerous cults present in the empire. It will surely not please them, and, by extension, your subjects.

CULTURAL EDICTS:

Matters of religion, culture and art.

Establish Calendar of Festivities:
Rather than throw a festival every few years to celebrate a bontiful harvest, let's instead establish a cyclic and stable calendar of state-sponsored festivities for the whole year. This will cause a drain on the Treasury, but hey - people love festivals!

Endorse State Patronage of Arts:
To help develop the nation culturally, set aside certain amount of budget money to sponsor sculptors, poets, musicians and painters. It will be a constant drain on the Treasury, but think of how prestigious your nation will become, what with those masterpieces of art popping left and right!

Establish The Royal House of Learning:
Scholars scribbling down books in secluded libraries and scriptories should be a thing of the past! Let's instead establish a centre of learning, where those of intellect can exchange ideas and educate those willing to learn. It will help the nation develop technologically, although maintenance of this beacon of enlightenment will obviously require yearly costs.

REVOKE EDICT: Revokes a previously implemented edict, either to cut spending, appease some disgruntled subjects, or both. On the other hand, it might tick off some other peoples, potentially causing a deadly cascade of discontent.

Late Spring, 1135 AD: Established the Fireblood Court:
Creation of a specialized military branch devoted purely to development of Fireblood arms to ensure they are aplenty and of best designs around. This will allow to centralize the production, research and budgeting of Fireblood weaponry rather than having some errant alchemists and engineers running around, trying to make things happen.

End of Year 1135 AD: Proclaimed Religious Equality:
Travelers, merchants, immigrants; they all bring new beliefs and philosophies into the country. Rather than fight those foreign influences, it might be best to allow all peoples free worship on equal level no matter the size and beliefs of the congregation, to help all different worshippers achieve a certain degree to harmony and peace.

End of Year 1139 AD: Established Recruitment Offices:
Mandatory training for youths is a good thing, but after bloodier-than-usual wars, there might be shortage of men to replenish the ranks. If we were to expand on the royal bureaucracy to include offices for traveling civilian recruiters and offer citizenship grants for mercenaries and travelers looking for a new home, our Army could refill its ranks much faster.

End of Year 1140 AD: Established The Council of Statesmen:
Creation of a small council of governmental officials who will be tasked with helping the government run smoother alongside traditional advisors, and, of course, the monarch himself. This will help strengthen the Imperial Authority, even in dire times, and help pass edicts quicker, although giving even more political power away from the throne than in the past might become a source of troubles one day.

End of Year 1142 AD: Established Passage Tax:
All those travelers, adventurers, merchants and others are moving through the country for free! Let's establish a tax for those entering and leaving our country - this will earn us nice profits each year, although it might slow down immigration and convince some merchants to seek passage through elsewhere.

End of Year 1146 AD: Established Diplomatic Corps:
Creation of a small but highly professional cabinet of diplomats and ambassadors that would visit neighbouring countries on regular basis to strengthen ties with nearby rulers and their nobles, and maybe even develop favorable treaties with them.
Logged
SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #8366 on: March 17, 2018, 04:35:48 pm »

Revoke Recruitment Offices
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Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #8367 on: March 17, 2018, 04:56:54 pm »

Establish Religion Tax
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Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #8368 on: March 17, 2018, 05:04:48 pm »

Revoke Recruitment Offices
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Baffler

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #8369 on: March 17, 2018, 05:12:18 pm »

Revoke Recruitment Offices.
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Quote from: Helgoland
Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
Location subject to periodic change.
Baffler likes silver, walnut trees, the color green, tanzanite, and dogs for their loyalty. When possible he prefers to consume beef, iced tea, and cornbread. He absolutely detests ticks.
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