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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 786591 times)

crazyabe

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7470 on: February 13, 2018, 10:56:10 am »

AB.  No, we got a Scepter of Lack of rain issues.
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Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7471 on: February 13, 2018, 11:04:42 am »

Rainbow scepter is suppose to cover bad snows as well, it's done so in the past. Although it doesn't sound like these were bad enough snows that they actually needed the scepter to stop them.

Or maybe we sucked insufficient dwarven dick on the kings visit and so they sent us a non working replica.
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Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7472 on: February 13, 2018, 11:07:40 am »

BA We're doing fine cash-wise. We should be getting some Eldrican silver soon too.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7473 on: February 13, 2018, 11:11:19 am »

Rainbow scepter is suppose to cover bad snows as well, it's done so in the past. Although it doesn't sound like these were bad enough snows that they actually needed the scepter to stop them.

Or maybe we sucked insufficient dwarven dick on the kings visit and so they sent us a non working replica.

It's a display model, says so right in the fine print.
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7474 on: February 13, 2018, 11:54:16 am »

By my count there's one year left on the dwarf tribute? Or does he mean in two years we won't be paying it?
Eight year deal – first payment 1139, last payment 1146.

AB
I'm with the treasurer on this one.

It looks like the statesmen don't improve us above 0? Rip I guess.
They don't cost us money and they open up other options. We should keep them as authority insurance.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2018, 11:56:15 am by mightymushroom »
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Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7475 on: February 13, 2018, 12:27:39 pm »

Yeah, I don't think we should get rid of them, I'm just sad that we can't easily go back up to +3.
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7476 on: February 13, 2018, 12:59:38 pm »

AB I think we can afford to raise taxes with 6 happiness. We'll just have set up some festivals up for the peasants once we're rich again and not just breaking even again.
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7477 on: February 13, 2018, 01:10:01 pm »

MILITARY EDICTS:

Matters of military hierarchy, philosophy of war and development of military tech.

Issue the Codex of Training Regimen:
A set of efficient (and slightly draconian) requirements and practices of training to ensure that the Army gets only the best recruits of them all. This will make the Army much better in combat, although there might be a problem to fill yearly recruitment quotas sometimes.

Establish the Shadowranks:
Politics often involve underhanded tactics. A castle full of commoner staff and visiting foreigners just asks for a disaster to occur. Let's have the military form a professional division of most loyal of soldiers, who would protect the Emperor, his family and important state officials, during the day, night, war, peace, revelries of festivals and monotony of daily life.

BUREAUCRATIC EDICTS:

Matters of administration and government.

Expand Primogeniture Law:
A string of bad luck can render a monarch without a male heir or cause succession debates. Rather than risk some unpleasant consequences of such a situation, it might be better to allow a skilled female to ascend to the throne, especially if she is as good at matters of the governance as any other ruler.

Establish Diplomatic Corps:
Creation of a small but highly professional cabinet of diplomats and ambassadors that would visit neighbouring countries on regular basis to strengthen ties with nearby rulers and their nobles, and maybe even develop favorable treaties with them.

Issue the Bill of Rights:
A standarized code of basic laws of the common peoples. Even if peasants will have nothing else left, they will always have their basic freedoms, helping ease their minds in times of emergency - and perhaps allow the spirit of liberty and humanism to blossom (for good or worse).

Enact Settlement Policy:
Guarantee that those willing to settle in previously undeveloped lands or territories yet unclaimed by any nation will be given a certain amount of money to help further their effort. However, this might cause a severe drain on the Treasury, especially during times of sudden, mass migrations to the countryside.

CULTURAL EDICTS:

Matters of religion, culture and art.

Establish Calendar of Festivities:
Rather than throw a festival every few years to celebrate a bontiful harvest, let's instead establish a cyclic and stable calendar of state-sponsored festivities for the whole year. This will cause a drain on the Treasury, but hey - people love festivals!

Endorse State Patronage of Arts:
To help develop the nation culturally, set aside certain amount of budget money to sponsor sculptors, poets, musicians and painters. It will be a constant drain on the Treasury, but think of how prestigious your nation will become, what with those masterpieces of art popping left and right!

Establish The Royal House of Learning:
Scholars scribbling down books in secluded libraries and scriptories should be a thing of the past! Let's instead establish a centre of learning, where those of intellect can exchange ideas and educate those willing to learn. It will help the nation develop technologically, although maintenance of this beacon of enlightenment will obviously require yearly costs.

REVOKE EDICT: Revokes a previously implemented edict, either to cut spending, appease some disgruntled subjects, or both. On the other hand, it might tick off some other peoples, potentially causing a deadly cascade of discontent.

Late Spring, 1135 AD: Established the Fireblood Court:
Creation of a specialized military branch devoted purely to development of Fireblood arms to ensure they are aplenty and of best designs around. This will allow to centralize the production, research and budgeting of Fireblood weaponry rather than having some errant alchemists and engineers running around, trying to make things happen.

End of Year 1135 AD: Proclaimed Religious Equality:
Travelers, merchants, immigrants; they all bring new beliefs and philosophies into the country. Rather than fight those foreign influences, it might be best to allow all peoples free worship on equal level no matter the size and beliefs of the congregation, to help all different worshippers achieve a certain degree to harmony and peace.

End of Year 1139 AD: Established Recruitment Offices:
Mandatory training for youths is a good thing, but after bloodier-than-usual wars, there might be shortage of men to replenish the ranks. If we were to expand on the royal bureaucracy to include offices for traveling civilian recruiters and offer citizenship grants for mercenaries and travelers looking for a new home, our Army could refill its ranks much faster.

End of Year 1140 AD: Established The Council of Statesmen:
Creation of a small council of governmental officials who will be tasked with helping the government run smoother alongside traditional advisors, and, of course, the monarch himself. This will help strengthen the Imperial Authority, even in dire times, and help pass edicts quicker, although giving even more political power away from the throne than in the past might become a source of troubles one day.

End of Year 1142 AD: Established Passage Tax:
All those travelers, adventurers, merchants and others are moving through the country for free! Let's establish a tax for those entering and leaving our country - this will earn us nice profits each year, although it might slow down immigration and convince some merchants to seek passage through elsewhere.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7478 on: February 13, 2018, 01:20:02 pm »

Fuck it, Issue the Bill of Rights! Death to absolutism!
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7479 on: February 13, 2018, 01:28:01 pm »

Establish the Shadowranks I mean we've had plenty of times in the past when having some bodyguards really would have been nice.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2018, 01:43:09 pm by Prophet »
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Arlos

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7480 on: February 13, 2018, 01:28:06 pm »

Establish The Royal House of Learning


On another note, how did we not get word of warning about the Orcs When refugees were going   Through this mountain not long ago?
« Last Edit: February 13, 2018, 02:10:33 pm by Arlos »
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Blood_Librarian

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7481 on: February 13, 2018, 01:29:46 pm »

Expand Primogeniture Law
« Last Edit: February 13, 2018, 01:48:13 pm by Blood_Librarian »
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Lucus Casius

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7482 on: February 13, 2018, 01:32:53 pm »

Establish Diplomatic Corps
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helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7483 on: February 13, 2018, 01:35:58 pm »

No Edict
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7484 on: February 13, 2018, 01:43:30 pm »

I'm changing my vote to No Edict.
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.
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