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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 788056 times)

helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7095 on: February 07, 2018, 04:39:22 pm »

A
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7096 on: February 07, 2018, 04:56:09 pm »

A
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7097 on: February 07, 2018, 05:01:33 pm »

You send Leath to do the talking.

Quote
6*

He solves the crisis once again, although there were few casualties amongst the most rude and stubborn of unhappy pesants.

1142 AD, Late Winter

You receive news that your half-sister Isha have died after falling from a horse during a ride through her estate's forest. A sad day and very unfortunate accident, alas.

1142 AD, End of the Year

You sip on the ale and tap the fingers on the table. The freezing rain and thick dark clouds outside do not help brightening your day. And it is the last day of the year, the Advisor will soon come with Scrolls of Kingdom Status!

There he is!

Quote
3to6, 1to3

Happiness: 4
Population: 7
Economy: 1
Army: 7
Imp.Authority: 0

You cannot help but notice the obvious.

"My liege, our Treasury is almost empty! We've ought to take some measures to keep it afloat and hope for better profits from trade next year. Will be undercutting Army budget or maybe higher taxes for a year a better idea?"

A) "Neither!"
B) "Taxes!"
C) "Why not both?"
D) "Budget cuts!"

"The Council has further repaired your authority to an average level of respect amongst your subjects. Mayhaps this is the good moment to issue an Edict, my liege?"

A) "Of course!"
B) "Not yet."

"I'm proud to announce that loyal royal scribes have updated the map of our region once again! Take a look your Majesty."




And as a special update, Yoean family tree!


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Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
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Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7098 on: February 07, 2018, 05:08:20 pm »

DA

Raising taxes will just put our happiness back in the toilet, whereas we can now rescind the recruitment offices.
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7099 on: February 07, 2018, 05:09:32 pm »

B
A


Leath is so good at calming rebellions that we can afford unhappiness. Literally +3 he can't lose!

Meanwhile, with the army up to 7, we should use our edict to cancel recruiting offices and save money that way.
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Chevaleresse

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7100 on: February 07, 2018, 05:10:18 pm »

DA

Though we should keep recruitment and do that one tax edict.
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GM of Trespassers V2.
If you like my work, consider becoming a patron. (Since apparently people think this is a requirement: no, my game(s) are free to play and always will be.

helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7101 on: February 07, 2018, 05:11:03 pm »

D,A
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Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7102 on: February 07, 2018, 05:37:11 pm »

BA

Between Leath and our Martial Sons, we should be able to deal with the consequences of unhappiness.

I am against repealing the recruitment offices though.
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7103 on: February 07, 2018, 05:38:23 pm »

MILITARY EDICTS:

Matters of military hierarchy, philosophy of war and development of military tech.

Issue the Codex of Training Regimen:
A set of efficient (and slightly draconian) requirements and practices of training to ensure that the Army gets only the best recruits of them all. This will make the Army much better in combat, although there might be a problem to fill yearly recruitment quotas sometimes.

Establish the Shadowranks:
Politics often involve underhanded tactics. A castle full of commoner staff and visiting foreigners just asks for a disaster to occur. Let's have the military form a professional division of most loyal of soldiers, who would protect the Emperor, his family and important state officials, during the day, night, war, peace, revelries of festivals and monotony of daily life.

BUREAUCRATIC EDICTS:

Matters of administration and government.

Expand Primogeniture Law:
A string of bad luck can render a monarch without a male heir or cause succession debates. Rather than risk some unpleasant consequences of such a situation, it might be better to allow a skilled female to ascend to the throne, especially if she is as good at matters of the governance as any other ruler.

Establish Passage Tax:
All those travelers, adventurers, merchants and others are moving through the country for free! Let's establish a tax for those entering and leaving our country - this will earn us nice profits each year, although it might slow down immigration and convince some merchants to seek passage through elsewhere.

Establish Diplomatic Corps:
Creation of a small but highly professional cabinet of diplomats and ambassadors that would visit neighbouring countries on regular basis to strengthen ties with nearby rulers and their nobles, and maybe even develop favorable treaties with them.

Issue the Bill of Rights:
A standarized code of basic laws of the common peoples. Even if peasants will have nothing else left, they will always have their basic freedoms, helping ease their minds in times of emergency - and perhaps allow the spirit of liberty and humanism to blossom (for good or worse).

Enact Settlement Policy:
Guarantee that those willing to settle in previously undeveloped lands or territories yet unclaimed by any nation will be given a certain amount of money to help further their effort. However, this might cause a severe drain on the Treasury, especially during times of sudden, mass migrations to the countryside.

CULTURAL EDICTS:

Matters of religion, culture and art.

Establish Calendar of Festivities:
Rather than throw a festival every few years to celebrate a bontiful harvest, let's instead establish a cyclic and stable calendar of state-sponsored festivities for the whole year. This will cause a drain on the Treasury, but hey - people love festivals!

Endorse State Patronage of Arts:
To help develop the nation culturally, set aside certain amount of budget money to sponsor sculptors, poets, musicians and painters. It will be a constant drain on the Treasury, but think of how prestigious your nation will become, what with those masterpieces of art popping left and right!

Establish The Royal House of Learning:
Scholars scribbling down books in secluded libraries and scriptories should be a thing of the past! Let's instead establish a centre of learning, where those of intellect can exchange ideas and educate those willing to learn. It will help the nation develop technologically, although maintenance of this beacon of enlightenment will obviously require yearly costs.

REVOKE EDICT: Revokes a previously implemented edict, either to cut spending, appease some disgruntled subjects, or both. On the other hand, it might tick off some other peoples, potentially causing a deadly cascade of discontent.

Late Spring, 1135 AD: Established the Fireblood Court:
Creation of a specialized military branch devoted purely to development of Fireblood arms to ensure they are aplenty and of best designs around. This will allow to centralize the production, research and budgeting of Fireblood weaponry rather than having some errant alchemists and engineers running around, trying to make things happen.

End of Year 1135 AD: Proclaimed Religious Equality:
Travelers, merchants, immigrants; they all bring new beliefs and philosophies into the country. Rather than fight those foreign influences, it might be best to allow all peoples free worship on equal level no matter the size and beliefs of the congregation, to help all different worshippers achieve a certain degree to harmony and peace.

End of Year 1139 AD: Established Recruitment Offices:
Mandatory training for youths is a good thing, but after bloodier-than-usual wars, there might be shortage of men to replenish the ranks. If we were to expand on the royal bureaucracy to include offices for traveling civilian recruiters and offer citizenship grants for mercenaries and travelers looking for a new home, our Army could refill its ranks much faster.

End of Year 1140 AD: Established The Council of Statesmen:
Creation of a small council of governmental officials who will be tasked with helping the government run smoother alongside traditional advisors, and, of course, the monarch himself. This will help strengthen the Imperial Authority, even in dire times, and help pass edicts quicker, although giving even more political power away from the throne than in the past might become a source of troubles one day.
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7104 on: February 07, 2018, 05:41:23 pm »

Time for the Passage Tax
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Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7105 on: February 07, 2018, 05:44:51 pm »

Repeal Recruitment Offices
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Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7106 on: February 07, 2018, 05:45:09 pm »

Passage Tax
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Taricus

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7107 on: February 07, 2018, 05:46:25 pm »

Issue the Bill of Rights

Should stop most of the common rebellions in their tracks.
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ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7108 on: February 07, 2018, 05:47:47 pm »

Establish Passage Tax
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #7109 on: February 07, 2018, 05:52:38 pm »

Revoke Recruitment Offices

Seriously. We have natural growth thanks to professional army. We're coming up against a hard cap I believe either this year or the next. We will be paying for nothing; shutting down the special incentives frees up money without raising another tax.
« Last Edit: February 07, 2018, 11:55:41 pm by mightymushroom »
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