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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 787394 times)

Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16155 on: May 09, 2019, 05:59:17 am »

D
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16156 on: May 12, 2019, 12:02:18 pm »

You order part of the army to fall on their flank!

Quote
2*

The flanking fails miserably! The enemy did manage to entrench themselves on favorable ground, and saw through your plan. Many hundreds died before the panicked Methiantese officers called for a rout.

Then, the high-pitched war horns inform you and your staff that Damdamians are coming!

Quote
4*

You lead the soldiers in the center as the sides are governed by your officers, and the officers of Helliste Kingdom. You inflict quite some casualties and stop the attack of Damdamians, the infantry prevailing against their massed charge. The Damdamians, while having the initiative, are now forced away from the ranks. You might still win this battle! Onwards!

Quote
1, 2

Then you hear something like whistle, right in front of you. You do not understand what is happening until the moment you fall off your horse, crashing onto the muddy ground. A moment later an excruciating pain emanates from your legs - some bones were probably broken. You feel the cold metal of your sword and your banner shaft, as well as the moisture of your tunic, no doubt soaking up your precious blood.

A stray shot, led to you most definitely by the vile Damdamian god, must've struck you in the chest, for you have trouble breathing. Then again, you do not foam or choke on blood, and thanks to your knowledge of anatomy you know that this means lungs have not been pierced. You're probably going to survive the day, if healers get to you.

Still, you're wounded, probably greviously, and you can already hear panicked screams and cries of your soldiers. They've must have seen the Banner of Methiant fall down along with you.

A) Call for help, hopefully someone from your side will hear you.
B) Try to climb back on the horse, the Methiantese banner must remain erect.
C) Drag yourself through mud and corpses, hopefully in direction of your camp.
D) Remain still, lest you damage your intestines even more.
« Last Edit: May 12, 2019, 12:04:37 pm by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16157 on: May 12, 2019, 12:25:36 pm »

A

don't we have a royal gaurd specifically for this kind ok thing?
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.

mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16158 on: May 12, 2019, 12:26:12 pm »

A
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melkor

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16159 on: May 12, 2019, 02:24:13 pm »

B
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Quote from: Robocorn
what do postdwarvenists do with goblins?

Quote from: Andreus
We slaughter them by the thousands.
But... you know, we do it ironically.

ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16160 on: May 12, 2019, 02:53:04 pm »

B
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Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16161 on: May 12, 2019, 03:29:48 pm »

B
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16162 on: May 12, 2019, 03:48:54 pm »

You wrap your arms around the shaft, and try to climb back on the horse.

Quote
4

Someone helps you up onto your mount, and the banner once again flutters in the wind! Shouts of rejoicing seem a distant echo as you sway in the saddle.

The sudden rush of morale seems to push Damdamians into defensive!

Quote
3

Then you fall off the horse again, the pain of some things inside your flesh being damaged is nearly unbearable. Was injuring yourself beyond saving worth it?

Quote
1*

You never learn of it, as the darkness falls upon your eyes like curtain over a window.


The fastest of couriers brings terrible news to you and the court. Emperor Houlandin III is dead!

Apparently, in somewhat unlucky manner, he was greviously wounded during one of the battles. Instead of seeking help, he climbed back onto the horse, to keep the Banner of Methiant upright, boosting morale of the soldiers.

The battle was basically a draw (or, as some put it, a minor victory), with ten thousand casualties total - six thousand of them on Damdamian side, for the brutal melee continued for quite a while, neither side willing to retreat first. Houlandin III, your cosuin, did not see its end, for he fallen off his horse and perished of his wounds before his guards or healers could tend to him.

For now, the enemy is routed, the Damdamian general Caius Cuscus having taken his forces southwards. The generals and officers that were with Houlandin III retreated towards the capital, and within few days, the body of late Emperor should arrive in the palace.

Quote
3to4

While The Bronze Flagbearer and Necklace of Persuasion were both recovered, the Sword of Puncturing has gone missing. Many fear that it might've found its way into hands of some Damdamian heathen, who mistook it for a decorated blade and took it as a spoil of war. The Spymaster promises to do his best to find the missing artifact.

His wife mourning the passing of the brave warrior that was Houlandin III, his courtiers now turn to you.

You're of martial spirit as well, but you're nowhere as skilled as your predecessor was in his time. You decide not to dwell on what regnal name you should take. "I will be henceforth known as Houlandin IV!" You proclaim, and the courtiers do not object your decision.

Long live Houlandin IV, Emperor of Methiant-Cydwyl, King of Felonsein, Ceodwell and Parsia, Prince of Eval, Duke of Dahnia, Donuth, Ionith and Clochtoir, Sovereign of Tiftit!

Immediately after your speedy coronation (the court promises a proper one after the war), the war council gathers.

"Emperor, your predecessor has perished and the Damdamians are still upon our soil. Whatever shall we do?"

A) "We regroup and recover, awaiting the return of the envoy sent to Damdamia!"
B) "Our Army must follow after the vile Caius Cuscus and destroy his army!"
C) "I shall depart to the frontlines at once, to replace my brave cousin!"
« Last Edit: May 12, 2019, 03:52:22 pm by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

birdy51

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16163 on: May 12, 2019, 04:13:28 pm »

C

Onward to avenge the dead!
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BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses

Rockeater

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16164 on: May 12, 2019, 04:27:50 pm »

C
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Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.

mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16165 on: May 12, 2019, 04:54:57 pm »

C

Dammit, now I wish we had done that succession edict thing that collates information so we don't have to hunt and guess about naming a successor. Not that it would be ready so soon.

Be sure to announce a successor before departing.
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16166 on: May 12, 2019, 11:50:51 pm »

You proclaim that you will march out into the war yourself, to replace your fallen cousin at the head of the Army.

The courtiers and officers murmur, but no one opposes your word.

"Sire, you have no clear successor ready!" One of the noblemen points out.

A) "Fine, fetch me the family list, I will choose someone."
B) "Oh, if anything happens, I'm sure the royal court will make the best decision."
Logged
SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Kashyyk

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  • One letter short of a wookie
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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16167 on: May 13, 2019, 02:47:23 am »

A
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16168 on: May 13, 2019, 07:52:37 am »

A
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Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #16169 on: May 13, 2019, 09:08:01 am »

A
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