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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 789638 times)

Pavellius

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15885 on: March 02, 2019, 02:01:57 am »

D
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melkor

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15886 on: March 02, 2019, 03:06:45 am »

D
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Quote from: Robocorn
what do postdwarvenists do with goblins?

Quote from: Andreus
We slaughter them by the thousands.
But... you know, we do it ironically.

auzewasright

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15887 on: March 02, 2019, 09:53:19 pm »

D
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15888 on: March 04, 2019, 02:56:30 pm »

bb
dddddd



You amass your forces at a trio of nearby hills.

This position will let you form a wall of infantry that protects the Fireblood machines that shall bombard the enemy, but it will be an inflexible formation with the cavalry having little to say.

The enemy approaches from two sides by the next hour; southwest and west, no doubt having tried to flank you. Seeing your troops so deposited on the uphills, they must've given up on the idea.

You raise your sword and begin initial bombardment just as the enemy approaches the hills.

Quote
2

It has little effect! The enemy deeper ranks are far from the blast zones, and only the small troops of skirmishers and vanguard are decimated by the early fire.

It's when you notice that the enemy is using cavalry to ride around the hills!

Quote
3*

The lightning-fast movements of light cavalry, showering your front lines with lead bolts shot by their Firetubes (or whatever Damdamian equivalent that is) cannot be easily matched by your infantry, which has trouble shooting accurately; your artillery can't even turn that fast to direct its fire!

Hundreds are picked off by the Damdamian mounted skirmishers before your officers raise an alarm - a great wedge of heavy cavalry, armed with axes and long lances, is running up the hill to smash through the most-thinned-out of your lines!

Quote
4*

The wedge smashes into your infantry lines, but this time its your troops that have upper hand. The cavalry soon loses its momentum and is bogged in a heavy melee, shots swishing above men's head as axes chop and spears stab, men screaming and horses whinning.

The fighting is inconclusive at the moment, but both sides certainly bleed. What to do?

A) I will inspire my men to do better by joining the frontlines!
B) I will strengthen the forces fighting in the melee with troops from other sides!
C) I will use my cavalry to reinforce the frontlines!
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15889 on: March 04, 2019, 03:15:46 pm »

B

Their calvary is already committed, so we shouldn't have to worry about further flanking from them. A is too risky, and Haspen said our own cavalry is in a bad position, so C is sub-optimal.
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15890 on: March 04, 2019, 04:49:54 pm »

B

The way I'm reading Haspen's statement, our cavalry isn't able to sweep or flank because of how we're set up atop the hills, it's too defensive; that doesn't mean they aren't able to join the battle line. But I agree that sending them to the brawl in the center is probably not the best use. Let's draw from the wings for now, the cavalry can reinforce those if we miscalculate.

In any case, protect the artillery, keep it ready to blast their infantry if they dare come closer.
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ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15891 on: March 04, 2019, 04:56:07 pm »

B
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Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15892 on: March 04, 2019, 05:19:14 pm »

B
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helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15893 on: March 06, 2019, 05:26:54 am »

B

enveloping the calvary is good
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15894 on: March 06, 2019, 03:37:30 pm »

Leave Mt.Calvary alone! It did nothing wrong!!1 /tears_on



You decide to call the footsoldiers from other location to help battle the wedge!

Quote
8!*

It seems it was a wise decision! The massed forces under your banner's shaft easily overwhelm the Damdamian horsemen, who are crushed and pushed away from the hillside, retreating in numbers.

But then officers tell you that the enemy is advancing from the other side! Light cavalry is pelting your rear with shots as the massed columns run up the hill. Thanks to how easily you repelled the attack of the lancers, you easily divert and mobilize the troops to deal with the new threat.

Quote
6*

This attack is also repelled; shortly after the melee begins, the enemy turns and runs! Your cavalry goes after them, cutting down the ones who were too slow to get to the safety.

Bodies, mostly clad in Damdamian colors, are strewn by hundreds in both front and rear of your positions. The sentries report that the enemies are in full, but organized retreat, most of them already outside the range of your Fireblood machinery. Your officers are eager to pursue and continue the fighting, however.

A) No, we shall regroup and recuperate.
B) Yeah! Pursue and cut them all down!
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15895 on: March 06, 2019, 03:45:47 pm »

B

It looks like the Damdamians are down to just their +2 Martial Bonus. Bring it home boys!
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Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15896 on: March 06, 2019, 04:07:01 pm »

B
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Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15897 on: March 06, 2019, 04:22:16 pm »

A - This is an orderly retreat, so they will likely be able to turn and strike army forces we send after them. Better to handle this carefully.
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ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15898 on: March 06, 2019, 04:25:29 pm »

B
« Last Edit: March 06, 2019, 05:44:55 pm by ZBridges »
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Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15899 on: March 06, 2019, 04:32:58 pm »

A - This is an orderly retreat, so they will likely be able to turn and strike army forces we send after them. Better to handle this carefully.

I agree with that to a point, but I think we should risk it here. If we let them get away, they rejoin with their forces in Eval, Rucus, and Lamentia and become a substantial threat once again. Best we take some losses if we have to, defeat their main force here, and mop up the rest.
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