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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 789772 times)

dragonblaze007

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15720 on: February 10, 2019, 09:46:49 pm »

DA

Lamentania is one of the weakest neighboring Kingdoms and we have too good relations with the other ones to  attack them.
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Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15721 on: February 10, 2019, 10:09:34 pm »

Lamentia is allies with Rucus and Eldrican. If we fight one of those countries, we likely end up fighting all of them.
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Taricus

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15722 on: February 10, 2019, 10:56:51 pm »

A, A
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Quote from: evictedSaint
We sided with the holocaust for a fucking +1 roll

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15723 on: February 11, 2019, 01:04:12 am »

Also Haspen, did we start repaying our loan to the dwarves this year?

Knew I was forgetting something.

Fixed!
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15724 on: February 11, 2019, 01:06:55 am »

MILITARY EDICTS:

Matters of military hierarchy, philosophy of war and development of military tech.

Adopt Fireblood Skirmisher Tactics:
Fireblood weapons are currently slow to load and rather inaccurate, but smoke and thunder they make alone can shatter morale. Some believe that if the hand-held Fireblood weapons are given to highly mobile units (cavalry), they could strike terror into enemy's ranks, allowing massed spear-and-sword infantry to advance afterwards and decimate the demoralized enemy troops.

BUREAUCRATIC EDICTS:

Matters of administration and government.

Issue the Bill of Rights:
A standarized code of basic laws of the common peoples. Even if peasants will have nothing else left, they will always have their basic freedoms, helping ease their minds in times of emergency - and perhaps allow the spirit of liberty and humanism to blossom (for good or worse).

Establish Passage Tax: (once in effect: 1142 - 1169 AD)
All those travelers, adventurers, merchants and others are moving through the country for free! Let's establish a tax for those entering and leaving our country - this will earn us nice profits each year, although it might slow down immigration and convince some merchants to seek passage through elsewhere.

Introduce Fireblood Tariffs:
Fireblood, as well as its components, are both valuable, important, and traded in large quantities. While a royal tariff on the mineral and Fireblood traders would surely hamper our trade and possibly lower amount of the precious black substance available for the Army, it could bring invaluable yearly profits to the Treasury.

Establish Imperial Trade Commission: (once in effect: 1167 AD - 1186 AD)
To ensure stricter and better control of trade in the Empire and through its borders, an imperial guild of trade and commerce should be created. Its officials will keep an ever-vigilant eye on market trends, supply and demand, as well as establish and maintain favorable tariffs and taxes on goods, and help our merchants gain upper hand over foreigners. Hopefully, they will avoid price gouging, corruption, favoritism and other nasty things.

CULTURAL EDICTS:

Matters of religion, culture and art.

Endorse State Patronage of Arts: (once in effect: 1174 - 1215 AD)
To help develop the nation culturally, set aside certain amount of budget money to sponsor sculptors, poets, musicians and painters. It will be a constant drain on the Treasury, but think of how prestigious your nation will become, what with those masterpieces of art popping left and right!

Proclaim Religious Equality: (once in effect: 1135 - 1172 AD)
Travelers, merchants, immigrants; they all bring new beliefs and philosophies into the country. Rather than fight those foreign influences, it might be best to allow all peoples free worship on equal level no matter the size and beliefs of the congregation, to help all different worshippers achieve a certain degree to harmony and peace.

Enforce Religious Unity:
Strengthen the nation and culture of the Empire by disallowing foreign faiths to preach freely in the Empire, as well as prevent rise of sects, zealots and fanatical schismatics amongst the clergy by declaring heresy a crime against the Empire, the Emperor, and his subjects.

Promote Missionary Orders:
Promote our faith outside the Imperial borders with monetary and political support from the Crown for the preachers and missionary groups. This will surely strengthen our state religion, on the other hand, it will probably upset religious minorities within the borders and our 'heathen' neighbours outside them.

---

REVOKE EDICT: Revokes a previously implemented edict, either to cut spending, appease some disgruntled subjects, or both. On the other hand, it might tick off some other peoples, potentially causing a deadly cascade of discontent.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15725 on: February 11, 2019, 02:05:15 am »

No Edict
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Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15726 on: February 11, 2019, 02:39:17 am »

Bill of Rights
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Taricus

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15727 on: February 11, 2019, 02:55:29 am »

Bill of Rights
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Quote from: evictedSaint
We sided with the holocaust for a fucking +1 roll

Pavellius

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15728 on: February 11, 2019, 03:19:45 am »

Bill of Rights
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helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15729 on: February 11, 2019, 03:37:30 am »

Bill of rights
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.

Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15730 on: February 11, 2019, 05:48:33 am »

Bill of Rights
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auzewasright

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15731 on: February 11, 2019, 08:17:09 am »

Bill of rights
It’s a step in the right direction.
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15732 on: February 11, 2019, 09:16:20 am »

No Edict
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15733 on: February 11, 2019, 01:25:43 pm »

No Edict
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15734 on: February 11, 2019, 01:52:07 pm »

You decide to issue Bill of Rights, giving the commoners a chance to protect themselves from injustices and oppressive rule of aristocrats and the like.

1217 AD, Spring

Helliste travelers bring interesting news from far east; it seems that some sort of war is going on in Rosamana, but conflicting reports make it impossible to determine if its foreign invasion, a civil war, or mixture of both.

1217 AD, Mid-Spring

A delegation of dwarves have arrived. They're headed by High Overseers of Ankurvat and Zasitost, Dobar Zunkolath and Am Shovarshovast. Along with them, there's about three dozen of guards and equal amount of servants and scribes.

It can't be anything but an extremely important diplomatic mission. Soon enough, as they stop before the gates, a dwarven runner brings word: High King and The Council of Dwarven Halls are trying to expand further west, and want to build another Hall on Methiantese territory.

You decide to...

A) Tell them that you're short on time lately, and dismiss them.
B) Let them in and hear the details of their proposal.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2019, 01:54:22 pm by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.
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