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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 776917 times)

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Yoe of Methiant!
« Reply #1545 on: August 27, 2017, 01:26:15 pm »

You turn your horse and ride away from danger!

Quote
5

You get away and your forces aren't that put off by your cowardly approach to challenges. At least, this time.

Then you hear thunders coming from Felonsine side! How did they clean their weapons so fast?

Quote
4*

The white projectiles are at it again, crashing on the ground in the centre of your deployment. Men and horses fall alike to the rocky shrapnel.

Quote
5

On your flank however, the situation has been brought to standstill. Your men are fighting fiercely and are even pushing the Felonsines back!

Quote
6

Some minutes later, you main body of the Felonsine flank that was pushing against you is routed! The westerners flee in droves!

A) After them! Cut them all down!
B) Time to regroup, blow the horn of retreat!
C) Let's divert our forces to the centre of Felonsine army now!
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

omada

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Yoe of Methiant!
« Reply #1546 on: August 27, 2017, 01:31:29 pm »

Control the center, it's our time to flank

With luck we can seize their weapons and grab some nobles for ransom.
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Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Yoe of Methiant!
« Reply #1547 on: August 27, 2017, 02:08:19 pm »

C

Shank the fucks and steal their shit
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helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Yoe of Methiant!
« Reply #1548 on: August 27, 2017, 02:56:28 pm »

A
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.

Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Yoe of Methiant!
« Reply #1549 on: August 27, 2017, 03:01:47 pm »

C
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Yoe of Methiant!
« Reply #1550 on: August 27, 2017, 03:38:46 pm »

You rally the men at the flank to strike the center!

You close distance to where Queen Karkhuta is, when you notice that the Felonsine Blackhearts are pointed at the direction of your troops, which are in the open field!

Quote
2

The large black projectiles cause the earth to shoot upwards as your soldiers, in fits of panic, scatter about the field! Some have the unfortunate distinction of being smashed to gory bits by the falling orbs.

Quote
1

A Blackheart rock smashes by your horse, causing it to stand up and collapse to the side with you!!

Quote
1

*CRUNCH*

1092 AD

You are Estant, son of Yoe.

Seven years ago, during the chaotic Battle of Lamtain fields, near capital of Lametania, your father was crushed by his own horse, causing the Kingdom of Methiant to fall into hands of your mother. But that wasn't the end of it, no.

During the battle, Queen Karkhuta of Felonsein was wounded, and, despite her healers' best efforts, a infection took hold of her body and caused her premature death. News of this reached the Felonsine courtiers, which, apparently being a bunch of scheming snakes, went for each other's throats. The western part of Felonsein soon fell to the Kois, while the northeast was torn off by the scheming old Donuth. The southeastern part is holding out, its future somewhat secured after Princess Goana married Prince Otalan of Lametania.

Lametania didn't fare much better, though. Otalan skillfully engineered deposing of his father, but southern nobles didn't like it and Lametania was too divided into three parts. While King Otalan was more successful than Felonsines against rebels, he still has to reconquer lands at the border with the Republic and the Empire; two dukes, one having support of Ankurvat Dwarves and the other backed by Republican mercenaries, maintain a sucessful hold on their domains.

Now however, time to concentrate on Methiant.

Quote
0,1,4,1

During regency of your mother, Queen Auga, the Kingdom has prospered somewhat. The population grew, but most of prosperity was in material wealth and coffers of the Treasury; the gemstone mines and silver mines (which keep on truckin') sponsored many refurbishments of Alldivine Cloisters and even a more long-term project; a network of Alldivine chapels and libraries. Many a commoner has been trained in ways of war or literacy. Commerce and arts began to flourish under Auga's rule, and many persons hope this will continue under your rule too.

In terms of foreign politics, Queen Auga used the vast monetary wealth to secure peace with Queen Dogethe of Cydwyl; in exchange for funds against Dahnians and Helliste, Dogethe publicly swore friendship to Methiant peoples as long as she breathes. Your mother, against wishes of some more war-oriented courtiers, decided to not pursue the war with Lametania and only in 1089 there was a brief skirmish to reassure control over the lands that were Methiantese before your father sold them away.

Fireblood research has hit a snag after the mineral mines dried out somewhat. With Felonsines not trusting Methiant court after 1085 AD, it is hard to obtain or develop new fireblood machines. Currently the Palace is housing twenty Blackhearts, all with trained crew but lacking in both ammunition and the incendiary Fireblood to propel the ammo.

And you?

Quote
2,5

Many people notice that you don't happen to possess any particular skill like your father did, but good fortunes surround you, oh lucky prince!

After some consideration, and with your father being overall popular figure, you decide to take on reigning name of Yoe II. Long live King Yoe II!

Oh, here comes the Advisor with those Scrolls of Kingdom Status of his.

Happiness: 5
Population: 5
Economy: 6
Army: 5

Sweet-looking numbers, those!

1092 AD, Spring

A delegation comes from the Kingdom of Cydwyl.

"King Yoe II, may your rule be prosperous and wise just like your mother's was. We come with words from Queen Dogethe; her niece, Gedavina, has just turned twenty yet no suitor wills her hand, despite her beauty topped with waterfall of goldilocks, shrewd tongue and top-notch skill for singing and knitting. Queen Dogethe therefore offers to bring our two lands even closer together - by the way of Gedavina becoming your wife and the next Queen of Methiant."

"Do you agree, good King?"

A) "Alright, I shall marry this Gedavina you speak of!"
B) "Sure, but only if Queen Dogethe sponsors the grandione wedding out of her pocket."
C) "No, I'm not going to marry Gedavina just because Queen Dogethe wills it!"
Logged
SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Yoe of Methiant!
« Reply #1551 on: August 27, 2017, 03:44:40 pm »

A

Too bad we can't marry Dogthe.

Also that was like, best end of the war possible. Our enemies falling into triple rebellion and we get our lands back? We should have had our horse curb stomp us sooner.
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Puppyguard

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Yoe II of Methiant!
« Reply #1552 on: August 27, 2017, 04:57:28 pm »

A
We do have six economy, asking the queen to pay for the marriage will only anger her.
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ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Yoe II of Methiant!
« Reply #1553 on: August 27, 2017, 05:07:53 pm »

A
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Yoe II of Methiant!
« Reply #1554 on: August 27, 2017, 05:09:25 pm »

A Keepin' the friendship going with the badass warrior Queen is probably a good idea. Also lessons learned from father/mother. 1: Being that guy who keeps the peace and only goes to war when he has noticeable advantage/reason to do so is good. 2: Alldivine and Art/Trade is really really good. 3: Don't trust foreigners to honor their word unless you've been friends for a long time. As seen with the lying bastards Felonsiens and Lametianians. 4: Felonsiens are ambitious Kiwi Backstabber knockoffs.

Oh and 5: Harem is still being denied with our current culture/religion. Learning that was perhaps the most saddest part of our last reign.  :'(
« Last Edit: August 27, 2017, 05:12:07 pm by Prophet »
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Yoe II of Methiant!
« Reply #1555 on: August 27, 2017, 05:16:24 pm »

A! It's an institute we can't disparage. Ask the local gentry and they'll say it's elementary.
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omada

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Yoe II of Methiant!
« Reply #1556 on: August 27, 2017, 06:15:31 pm »

A Of course! Her mother won't march against her daughter i think

and hmmm shrewd tongue? Hope she enjoys sitting next to us when we get into negotiations.
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

crazyabe

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Yoe II of Methiant!
« Reply #1557 on: August 27, 2017, 07:08:09 pm »

A.
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Yoe II of Methiant!
« Reply #1558 on: August 27, 2017, 11:30:58 pm »

You agree to marry Gedavina of Cydwyl. The marriage is scheduled for Midsummer.

1092 AD, Summer

A terrible calamity befalls the capital! The Library of Alldivines, built by your mother just five years ago, was burnt down to cinders after a mild thunderstorm. Thousands of scrolls and illuminated tomes were lost.

The Alldivine monks promptly show up at your court, asking for donations to help rebuild their library.

A) Rebuild? Nay, I will sponsor construction of a grand new one!
B) Nah, they can have minor donation to their altars instead.
C) Shoo away, money leeches! I don't want your Library!
D) Well sure, we can part with a third of our Treasury to help the monks.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2017, 11:39:25 pm by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Tiruin

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: King Yoe II of Methiant!
« Reply #1559 on: August 27, 2017, 11:37:25 pm »

A

Knowledge places are always best. :I Build more.
Also wow on that 2, 1, 1. That's horrible ._.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2017, 11:47:39 pm by Tiruin »
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